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Not for anyone named Maverick4

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Real World, Jul 13, 2007.

  1. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    :D

    Italian Worker

    An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he
    passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman
    said.
    "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

    "With outta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datza easy." And he proceeds
    to draw three trees.

    "What's this?" the boss asks.

    "Ave you gotta no brainz? Tree en tree en tree makes a nine," says the
    Italian.

    "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the
    same rules, but this time the number is 99."

    The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture
    that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.
    "Ere you go."

    The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that
    to represent 99?"
    "Each ava da trees is dirty now. So, itza dirty tree, en dirty tree,
    en dirty tree. Dat is a 99."

    The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire
    this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question.
    Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

    The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture
    again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere
    you go. One a hundred."

    The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that
    represents a hundred!"

    The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each
    tree and says, "A little doga came along en crap by each tree. So now
    you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree
    and a turd, dat make a one hundred. So, when I starta werk?"
  2. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Maverick is Chinese so that won't bother him.

    Headline In Italian Newspaper:

    Small Two Seat Cessna airplane crashes in cemetery, 532 bodies have been recovered and more being found at press time.
  3. QuiGon

    QuiGon Banned

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    RACIST!!! :D
  4. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    HA! va fanculo! :p

    :D kidding HB

    Is Mav really chinese? That would explain alot I guess.
  5. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

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    like it said before, ethnic jokes are bad all around, because of the potential damage they can cause.

    some are funny but usually they are malicious.
  6. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    I know I'm dumb. Afterall, you've told me that a number of times, but can you not read?


    Re: Not for anyone named Maverick4

    Why are you in here? :p
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2007
  7. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

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    i knew you'd reply that way. this thread shows the low level of maturity and intelligence you have, that i have been pointing out to you.
  8. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    So not only can you not read, but you can't comprehend either! :p


    Re: Not for anyone named Maverick4
  9. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    From north of the border:

    Canadian Eh?


    A recent study found the average Canadian walks about 900 miles a year.

    Another study found Canadians drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

    That means, on average, Canadians get about 41 miles to the gallon.

    Kind Of Makes You Proud To Be Canadian .



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  10. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    A Scottish guy goes to heaven. St Peter is showing him around. He explains that all of the nationalities have their own room and you are welcome to go to whichever one you want.
    He gets shown the Irish one, full of people drinking Guinness, playing Fiddle music and so on.
    They move to the French one, where fine wines are being drunk and the people are discussing complex philosophy.
    He takes him to the American one where everyone is talking loudly, eating hamburgers and firing shotguns, saying "yee haw!".
    Then, they go a bit further down and St Peter says "sssh!".
    "Why?", whispers the Scot.
    "That room over there is for the English and they think they're the only ones here".
  11. wistahpatsfan

    wistahpatsfan Rookie

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    #75 Jersey

    An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.

    "Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."

    He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."

    "That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"

    "Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his
  12. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    A journalist is sat on a beach when he sees a shark take a kid. A man strips off, runs into the sea, wrestles with the shark and rescues the kid. The journalist is writing the headline of "hero saves kid from brutal shark".

    He then interviews the guy, who turns out to be English. He quickly changes the headline to "pommie b*stard kills family pet". :D
  13. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman

    Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and a Welshman are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish" says the genie.

    The Welshman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Wales."

    With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in Wales was forever made fertile for farming.

    The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country. Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye,'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.

    The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.

    The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

    The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."
  14. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    An Italian immigrant goes into a bar in San Francisco. He's got a dead cat over his sholder, an old rusty pistol in his belt, and he's carrying a bucket of sh!t. He sits down at the bar, orders a shot of whiskey straight up, puts the bucket of sh!t down on the floor, and the dead cat down on the bar.

    The bartender brings him his drink. He downs the shot with a gulp, takes a bite out of the dead cat, takes the pistol out of his belt and fires a round into the bucket of sh!t. This is a tough bar, and people just give him a little more room.

    The guy orders another shot, same deal. Chugs the shot, takes another bite out of the dead cat, out with the pistol, BLAM!! into the bucket of sh!t.

    The bartender's idle curiosity gets the better of him and he asks his customer; "Hey, Buddy, what's with the routine? The shot, the cat, the pistol, and the bucket of sh!t?"

    The immigrant replies, "I'ma justa cuma from Italy to America. Before I coma to America, I aska my grambop whada I needa to do to makeita ok in America. My grambopa he say, Ettorio, you go to America an you do three things. You shoota the sh!t, you drinka whiskey, an you eata *****, and you makeita ok in America".

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