Welcome to PatsFans.com

New Religion

Discussion in 'Religion and Lighthearted Discussion' started by HAMMERMILL, Oct 26, 2006.

  1. HAMMERMILL

    HAMMERMILL Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2006
    Messages:
    463
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Maybe it's time to start a new religion.
    A seperation between church and state allows it!
    I'll start-
    1)Every citizen has a right to do what they wish as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else.
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2006
  2. HAMMERMILL

    HAMMERMILL Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2006
    Messages:
    463
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    waiting for you tune-lol
  3. Clonamery

    Clonamery PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    18
    Ratings:
    +37 / 0 / -1

    I'm all for starting something new but the followers
    must either comprehend themselves or this song:

    REM - Begin the Begin
    (chorus)
    Birdie in the hand for life's rich demand
    The insurgency began and you missed it
    I looked for it and I found it
    Miles Standish proud, congratulate me

    A philanderer's tie, a murderer's shoe

    Life's rich demand creates supply in the hand
    Of the powers, the only vote that matters
    Silence means security silence means approval
    On Zenith, on the TV, tiger run around the tree
    Follow the leader, run and turn into butter

    Let's begin again, begin the begin
    Let's begin again like Martin Luther zen
    The mythology begins the begin
    Answer me a question I can't itemize
    I can't think clear, you look to me for reason
    It's not there, I can't even rhyme here in the begin

    A philanderer's tie, a murderer's shoe
    Example: the finest example is you

    (repeat chorus)

    A philanderer's tie, a murderer's shoe
    Let's begin again, begin the begin
    Let's begin again
  4. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2004
    Messages:
    16,229
    Likes Received:
    224
    Ratings:
    +481 / 5 / -10

    #61 Jersey

    I suggest a radical new religious concept that will unite Grogan2767 and 3 to be 4 in blissful brotherhood forever: progressive fundamentalist Christianatheism. It is the ultimate all-inclusive sect, where one can fervently believe and not believe at the same time. Drug addicts do it, schizophrenics do it, why not religionists? It's all a head game anyway, because the way these people approach religion has nothing to do with spirituality. I maintain that Christianatheism is the best hope for all those who are so disconnected within themselves that they must shout at the mirror (i.e., post religionist rants on a pro football team's Internet messageboard).
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2006
  5. Clonamery

    Clonamery PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    3,299
    Likes Received:
    18
    Ratings:
    +37 / 0 / -1

    It's pragmatic given this forum but it seems too inclusive. I need to feel superior in my religious views.......
  6. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2004
    Messages:
    16,229
    Likes Received:
    224
    Ratings:
    +481 / 5 / -10

    #61 Jersey

    No problem. You can adopt Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Oprah Winfrey-ism, NASCAR-ism, etc. -- there's lots to choose from out there with equal opportunity for intolerant religious chauvenism.
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2006
  7. Mike the Brit

    Mike the Brit Minuteman Target PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,622
    Likes Received:
    113
    Ratings:
    +217 / 2 / -0

    Disable Jersey

    Wow! Serious stuff to think about over my muesli!

    I've got a few problems with organized religion.

    First off, there's the fanaticism and persecution. Got to put a stop to that -- though I've got to admit that the Soviet Union and China managed a lot of fanaticism and persecution even without God ...

    Then there's the problem of Evil -- you know, death, disease, earthquakes, hurricanes, that kind of stuff -- the point where the happy-clappy praise-the-Lord-in-all-his-goodness guys start to wheel out the crap about Satan and Original Sin.

    I don't have a good answer to that -- if you do, feel free to PM me. :)

    But I did hear a great Jewish joke about it the other night (for Shmessy and PFinVa).

    OK. The Jews in Auschwitz decide to put God on trial. They discuss back and forth the whole day whether he is responsible for their sufferings and, in they end, they vote and find him guilty. "Right," says the rabbi, "we've found God guilty. Now let's daven Mincha". [= evening prayers]

    Finally, there is sex.

    Religions control people through making them feel guilty about sex so they either go through life completely inhibited or reject religion and rebel into promiscuity.

    So here is my positive suggestion.

    In my new religion, it would be compulsory to have sex on your sixteenth birthday. In public. In front of all your friends and family, with videos, presents and a party -- Confirmation/First Communion/Bar Mitzvah, all rolled into one.

    You can imagine the conversation:

    Mrs A: And Ellie. How old would she be now? It must be time for her Banging?

    Mrs B: Oh yes -- we can hardly think about anything else.

    She insisted we get that dark-haired boy from Sextastic. You wouldn't believe how expensive he is, but she wouldn't have anyone else. He has a waiting list of two years but we're old clients -- his father did me -- and so he offered to squeeze Ellie in.

    Mrs A: How exciting! Is she nervous?

    Mrs B: Well, she pretends that she's not -- you know how teenagers are. But I think she's been practising in secret with her cousin.

    :D
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2006
  8. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2006
    Messages:
    20,173
    Likes Received:
    228
    Ratings:
    +344 / 6 / -8

    Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's slot machine, even if it is hitting on every other spin.
  9. HAMMERMILL

    HAMMERMILL Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2006
    Messages:
    463
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Thats' just blasphmy,CAPITALISM is built on that:p
  10. BruschiOnTap

    BruschiOnTap Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Messages:
    448
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    classic line right there... when I finally write a book that's going to be inside the cover (properly cited, of course!)
  11. godef

    godef Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    3,118
    Likes Received:
    6
    Ratings:
    +6 / 0 / -0

    It's called Constitutionalism
  12. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    41,025
    Likes Received:
    109
    Ratings:
    +190 / 7 / -23

    I have no problem with religion, my problem is white haired old men ( I am grey so don't say I am insensitive or not PC) making decisions we all have to live with and if we don't we go to hell or purgatory.
  13. Fixit

    Fixit Rookie

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2006
    Messages:
    4,687
    Likes Received:
    15
    Ratings:
    +29 / 0 / -0

    I'm a devout Pastafarian.
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2007
  14. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2004
    Messages:
    16,229
    Likes Received:
    224
    Ratings:
    +481 / 5 / -10

    #61 Jersey

    You mean you smoke dope and eat lots of pasta?
  15. wistahpatsfan

    wistahpatsfan Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2005
    Messages:
    15,672
    Likes Received:
    11
    Ratings:
    +11 / 0 / -0

    One of the more fun religions:

    http://www.venganza.org/
  16. fleabassist1

    fleabassist1 Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2005
    Messages:
    3,104
    Likes Received:
    3
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0

    #12 Jersey



    I saw this on Wikipedia a while ago. The guy who created the religion did it to make fun of organized religion as well as just have fun.


    EDIT: I'm gunna use that link for the political site... look for: "Direct correlation for Global Warming" or something along those lines ;-)
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2007
  17. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Messages:
    13,674
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0



    These guys sang about "losing their religion".

    Can't give up in the middle of the fight! Got to keep on looking!!


    //
  18. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2006
    Messages:
    20,173
    Likes Received:
    228
    Ratings:
    +344 / 6 / -8

    Fog, "Losing [one's] religion" is an expression in the South for losing faith in anything. As in... "How's it going with that wife issue..." "I dunno man, I'm losing my religion..."

    We gotta do something about all the literal-mindedness around here! LOL

    PFnV
  19. HAMMERMILL

    HAMMERMILL Rookie

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2006
    Messages:
    463
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0


    To bad it doesn't seem to apply anymore;)

Share This Page

unset ($sidebar_block_show); ?>