Metaphors
In the Starting Line-Up
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Each pick with exactly 5 words of explanation (hold your applause)...
1 MIA: Jake Long - Safe pick, Fins still suck
2 STL: Glenn Dorsey - Top impact player on defense
3 ATL: Matt Ryan - Face of franchise, much needed
4 OAK: Darren McFadden - McFadden fast, Al likes that
5 KC: Chris Long - Jared gone sooner or later
6 NYJ: Vernon Gholston - Can't let Pats have him
7 NO (from NE): Sedrick Ellis - Big talent drop after Ellis
8 BAL : Brandon Albert - Hot prospect, not sure why
9 CIN : Derrick Harvey - No criminal record? Good enough.
10 CHI (from NE): Ryan Clady - Need tackle badly, can't wait
11 BUF : Leodis McKelvin - Kinda like Clement, much cheaper
12 DEN : Jeff Otah - Must teach to attack knees
13 CAR : Keith Rivers - Hopefully no concussions...tackle carefully
14 NE (from CHI): Jerod Mayo - Indy line "holding Mayo" <chuckle>
15 DET : Rashard Mendelhall - Draft card says "Mendenhall" already
16 ARZ : Dominique Rogers-Cromartie - Name "Cromartie" equals big bucks
17 MIN : Phillip Merling - Need line help, best available
18 HOU : Chris Williams - Must protect quarterback (no kidding)
19 PHI : Devin Thomas - Keeps McNabb happy...for now
20 TB : DeSean Jackson - Galloway gets Social Security soon
21 WAS : Kenny Phillips - After Taylor, just seems right
22 DAL : Mike Jenkins - Win playoff game? Improve secondary
23 PIT : Jonathan Stewart - Ben most effective throwing less
24 TEN : Calais Campbell - Kearse done. Freak no more.
25 SEA : Felix Jones - Alexander too expensive to keep
26 JAX : Kentwan Balmer - Wide load next to Henderson
27 CAR (from SD) - Joe Flacco - Not Henne, but same helmet
28 DAL : Limas Sweed - Owens needs help, local product
29 SF : Quentin Groves - Tully? What were we thinking?
30 GB : Aqib Talib - Wisconsin winter, no grass grows
31 <forfeit> - Still bitter, but getting better
32 NYG : Dan Connor - Same as every other mock
1 MIA: Jake Long - Safe pick, Fins still suck
2 STL: Glenn Dorsey - Top impact player on defense
3 ATL: Matt Ryan - Face of franchise, much needed
4 OAK: Darren McFadden - McFadden fast, Al likes that
5 KC: Chris Long - Jared gone sooner or later
6 NYJ: Vernon Gholston - Can't let Pats have him
7 NO (from NE): Sedrick Ellis - Big talent drop after Ellis
8 BAL : Brandon Albert - Hot prospect, not sure why
9 CIN : Derrick Harvey - No criminal record? Good enough.
10 CHI (from NE): Ryan Clady - Need tackle badly, can't wait
11 BUF : Leodis McKelvin - Kinda like Clement, much cheaper
12 DEN : Jeff Otah - Must teach to attack knees
13 CAR : Keith Rivers - Hopefully no concussions...tackle carefully
14 NE (from CHI): Jerod Mayo - Indy line "holding Mayo" <chuckle>
15 DET : Rashard Mendelhall - Draft card says "Mendenhall" already
16 ARZ : Dominique Rogers-Cromartie - Name "Cromartie" equals big bucks
17 MIN : Phillip Merling - Need line help, best available
18 HOU : Chris Williams - Must protect quarterback (no kidding)
19 PHI : Devin Thomas - Keeps McNabb happy...for now
20 TB : DeSean Jackson - Galloway gets Social Security soon
21 WAS : Kenny Phillips - After Taylor, just seems right
22 DAL : Mike Jenkins - Win playoff game? Improve secondary
23 PIT : Jonathan Stewart - Ben most effective throwing less
24 TEN : Calais Campbell - Kearse done. Freak no more.
25 SEA : Felix Jones - Alexander too expensive to keep
26 JAX : Kentwan Balmer - Wide load next to Henderson
27 CAR (from SD) - Joe Flacco - Not Henne, but same helmet
28 DAL : Limas Sweed - Owens needs help, local product
29 SF : Quentin Groves - Tully? What were we thinking?
30 GB : Aqib Talib - Wisconsin winter, no grass grows
31 <forfeit> - Still bitter, but getting better
32 NYG : Dan Connor - Same as every other mock
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