Memo sent from ESPN President:
Due to the contentious relationship ESPN currently maintains with the New England Patriots, ESPN will implement a 6 step plan to regain the trust of the management and players.
1) On-air personalities, especially HATERS, will praise the Patriots recent draft using glowing terms.
2) Digital media writers of ESPN.com will rank New England on top of every poll.
3) The obligatory Bill Simmons' "New England is the Greatest" article will be moved up to coincide with the Matt Walsh/ Roger Goodell summit.
4)All staff will engage in the 24/7 character assassination of Matt Walsh, regardless of outcome.
5) Chris Berman will declare the Robert Kraft/ Bill Belichick duo as the greatest owner/coach combination in the history of sports.
6) ESPN will pay for Tom Brady's wedding and honeymoon.