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Manning & Jesus

Discussion in 'Religion and Lighthearted Discussion' started by riverside, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. riverside

    riverside Rookie

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    Coincidence or something more?

    Jesus worked as a blue collar carpenter.
    Manning wears a blue uniform at work.

    Jesus said "break this bread."
    Manning said "Cut that meat."

    Jesus was the son of God.
    Manning is the son of a Saint.

    Jesus was part of the Trinity.
    Manning was part of the Triplets.
     
  2. Scouse Patriot

    Scouse Patriot 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

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    Nothing more than idiotic nonesense really :D ;)
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2007
  3. Patriot_in_NY

    Patriot_in_NY Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    Jesus was crucified by a Roman
    Manning was crucified by a Patriot :singing:
     
  4. riverside

    riverside Rookie

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    Waka waka waka :eek: :D
     
  5. riverside

    riverside Rookie

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    Jesus was born in a barn.
    Manning was born in Louisiana.
     
  6. riverside

    riverside Rookie

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    Jesus was resurrected.
    Manning had his famous comeback in the AFCCG.
     
  7. SmokeShowin

    SmokeShowin 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

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    No Jersey Selected

    Both frauds.
     
  8. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    OUCH, Smoke! LOL

    Jesus said "He who is without sin, cast the first rock"
    Peyton said "He who is without sin, take the first sack"

    Like Jesus, Manning went into his father's trade, and didn't do anything much until he was 30.

    Jesus' brother was James "the Just". Manning's brother is "Just" Eli.

    Jesus lived an itinerant, traveling lifestyle with a small communal band including a reformed prostitute, preaching love and repentence.

    Manning plays 8 games outside the home dome each year and usually repents playing them.

    Jesus overturned the tables of the moneychangers, but then got crucified
    Manning turned the tables on the Pats in last years AFCCG. WTF did you THINK would happen next?

    PFnV
     
  9. IcyPatriot

    IcyPatriot ------------- PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #87 Jersey

    The only religious thing about Manning is some religions sacrifice sheep and sheep sacrifice themselves to Manning.
     
  10. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    How about....

    Manning & Santa, Jesus & Brady

    - Manning appears on approximately 50% of all commercials this time of year
    - Santa appears on the other 50%

    - Tom Brady is the more significant figure in the story of modern football
    - Jesus is more significant in the story of Christianity

    - Orthodox Christians claim Jesus never married
    - Brady not married yet

    -"The meek shall inherit the earth"
    - No football "bloodlines," 6th round out of Michigan, backed up Brian Griese

    - Muslims claim Jesus did not, in fact, die on the cross, because they never broke his legs, despite customary Roman practice as the coup de grace
    - Despite calls for breaking Brady's legs, nobody's managed to do it

    - Preexisting quasi-messianic figure John The Baptist had to be written into the Jesus story to unite two traditions
    - Bledsoe played against Steelers in AFCCG in 01 to bridge Bledsoe-Brady eras

    - legendary figure from medieval Christian legend: Friar Tuck
    - legendary Pats figures and moments: Irving Friar, the Tuck Rule

    - Christianity: began as reviled cult, rose to become largest religion on Earth
    - Patriots: started out in the AFL, played doormat and underachiever, then rose to dominate the NFL

    - Jesus: "I and the father are one"
    - Brady: on-field extension of coach Belichick

    - Jesus: And a child shall lead them
    - Brady: first super bowl, age 23

    - Jesus: worshipped by one billion women worldwide
    - Brady: ditto

    PFnV
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2007
  11. riverside

    riverside Rookie

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    Jesus' immortality was born from the immaculate conception.
    Manning's immortality was born from Marlin Jackson's late interception.
     
  12. IcyPatriot

    IcyPatriot ------------- PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #87 Jersey

    Jesus received gifts from the 3 wise men

    Manning received gifts from the competition committee.
     
  13. IcyPatriot

    IcyPatriot ------------- PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Jesus preached the word to his prophets

    Manning preaches sh!t to his offense when he is angry.
     
  14. Patriot_in_NY

    Patriot_in_NY Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    I forget. Did Jesus throw his offensive line under the Bus? or was that....... oh, never mind.
     
  15. WhiskeyBreath

    WhiskeyBreath 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

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    Satan Manning
     
  16. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Jesus constantly treated his apostles like they were thickheaded mortals. Manning constantly treats his offensive line the same way.
     
  17. reflexblue

    reflexblue PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #91 Jersey

    And the punch line is ...........:confused:
     

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