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Joke Thread

Discussion in 'The PatsFans.com Pub' started by Ian, Oct 27, 2008.

  1. Ian

    Ian Administrator Staff Member

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    #17 Jersey

    I figured we could add a thread for people to add jokes they read, get by e-mail, etc. Please add them to this thread as you feel the need, and hopefully we'll have a good library put together in this thread.

    I'll start:
    ------------
    A priest and a nun decide to go golfing one day. For a while, the two enjoy their round peacefully, but on the 3rd hole green, the priest misses an easy putt and yells out, "S&^t! I missed!"

    The nun turns to him and says, "Father please don’t swear!" He grumbles under his breath and returns to the game.

    When they reach the next green, the priest is in the same position and misses the putt once again, he then yells out, "S&^t! I missed!" Once again the nun says, "Please Father, don’t swear like that!" He then grumbles under his breath and they resume playing.

    On the next hole, they make it to the green, and once again the priest misses his easy putt and shouts "S&^t! I missed!" At this point the nun says, "Father, if you don’t stop swearing, then God will strike you dead!"

    They then continue to the next hole, and for the fourth time, the priest misses a simple putt on the green, he yells, "S&^t! I missed!"

    Then the sky darkened, the wind picked up, hail fell from the clouds and pummeled the earth, then God himself appeared in the sky and unleashed a thunderbolt which struck the nun and killed her.

    Then the Almighty turned his face upward and said, "S&^T! I MISSED!"
     
  2. Michael

    Michael Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #12 Jersey

    A graphic one.
     

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  3. Terry Glenn is a cowgirl

    Terry Glenn is a cowgirl Banned

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    I declare the Rothschilds the clear winner in this bracket...
     
  4. dalero

    dalero PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Anyone catch the new gay sitcom on FOX last light?


    It's called "Leave It It's Beaver."
     
  5. Ian

    Ian Administrator Staff Member

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    #17 Jersey

    From ComedyCentral.com:

    Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.

    When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

    The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''

    At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2008
  6. Michael

    Michael Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #12 Jersey

    Why do you never buy a woman a watch?

    There's already a clock on the stove. :lol2:
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2008
  7. dalero

    dalero PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Why do doctors slap babies butts?



    I knocks the penis off the stupid ones.


    A dear friend of my wife (female) told me that one.
     
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2008
  8. dalero

    dalero PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    A guy returns home one evening with a sheep under his arm. His wife walks into the room and he says "This is the pig I have sex with when your not around." The wife says "That's a sheep not a pig you idiot." The husband says "I was talking to the sheep."
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2008
  9. dalero

    dalero PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    A couple and their son from deep in the Congo jungle visit the big city for the first time. They stand on the sidewalk and stare in amazement at the hustle and bustle. The three of them go into a huge department store to see what that's all about. "Look Father, moving stairs!!" "Look Father, what's that wall with the big silver box?" "I don't know son." Just then a little old lady with a walker approaches the big silver slab and pushes a button and the door slides open. She enters and the door closes. "Father where did she go?why are those lights flashing up and now down" "I don't know son." The door reopens and a stunning blonde exits. "Father how did that happen?!?!?" " Go get your mother!"
     

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