Jets' coach Westhoff tells youths he'd rather beat Pats than go to heaven

[townes]

Reminds me of a horoscope printed in The Onion a while back: "You're half right: Heaven does not, in fact, want you, but Hell is not the least bit concerned that you might take over."

My favorite Onion headline is still this:


HOMOSEXUAL TEARFULLY ADMITS TO BEING NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR

 

[Joker]

Mike Westhoof...Hell called...admission denied..Satan is looking for souls with a little higher character than you possess....sorry...try the interstellar space molecular dispersion project...

 

[Ice_Ice_Brady]

Jets.

Unbelievable.

Their win over the Pats was kind of like the Red Sox finally exorcising the demons on the Yankees in 2004. Could you imagine if the Sox had lost to the Cardinals that year?

Even in winning their "biggest game in franchise history", they are still miserable and unsatisfied.

 

[primetime]

Heaven isn't real

 

[Tunescribe]

I'd rather beat the Jests than go to heaven, big deal

In heaven, the Patriots beat the Green Beans 45-0 every day. That's why Westhoff doesn't want to go there. :singing::rocker:

 

[Wax Frog]

I'd rather see the Jets lose than go to heaven. Do I need my priorities straightened out?

There's no need to choose - isn't Heaven, by definition, a place where the Jets always lose?

[Edit: I know it's not an original thought - see prior post - but I like it so I'm leaving it up ]

 

[Ring 6]

Jets.

Unbelievable.

Their win over the Pats was kind of like the Red Sox finally exorcising the demons on the Yankees in 2004. Could you imagine if the Sox had lost to the Cardinals that year?

Even in winning their "biggest game in franchise history", they are still miserable and unsatisfied.

But the Jets werent even that far, the didn't make it to the SB. Maybe in another 25 years they will get close again.

 

[hellolin]

Typical new york jets staff, seems like tripping now isn't too bad since they already commited themselves to the devil lol

 

[pdangle]

Yikes, what a weird football thread. It's freakin' incredible, and it's only a few pages long! The continued evolution to a deep and profound realization will surely fascinate.

 

[PatsFan24]

I enjoy the Jets hating the Patriots as much as they do.

 

[RhodyPatriot]

What else is he going to say? He's got no shot at heaven.

 

[DarrylStingley]

Jets.

Unbelievable.

Their win over the Pats was kind of like the Red Sox finally exorcising the demons on the Yankees in 2004. Could you imagine if the Sox had lost to the Cardinals that year?

Even in winning their "biggest game in franchise history", they are still miserable and unsatisfied.

The amount of pleasure the Jets fans take over a season in which they lost in the semi finals is astounding.

I guess that's what decades of futility will do to a fan base. To me, any season in which the Pats (or any other Boston team) fail to win a title is not all that pleasurable. Now true, just being in the hunt is all that I can really ask for as a fan and I'm not some entitled Yankees fan biyatch who says that the season was an utter failure if there are no rings. But I've never walked around gleaming when my team doesn't win it all.

Jets fans are clowns. And so is this idiot Westhoff.

 

[Patjew]

I can actually identify with this guy. So I am evil...

 

[patchick]

I hate the Jets as much as anyone.... but that guy is awesome. lolol

:yeahthat:

It's like seeing one of the obsessive, delusional fans who paint their bodies in team colors actually get a coaching job. Every rivalry could use a guy like Westhoff.

 

[TrueBeliever]

Typical new york jets staff, seems like tripping now isn't too bad since they already commited themselves to the devil lol

That presents an interesting scenario:

REX: So here's the deal - you can have my mortal soul if you can get the Jets to the Super Bowl.

SATAN: Whoa there, buddy, I may command the dark legions of the underworld, but I'm not a miracle worker!

 

[lurker1965]

So Westhoff would gladly sell his soul. For that?

Geez. I hate the Jets, but I hope I'd hold out for Brooklyn Dekker and few billion dollars too.

(And atheists, I lack the faith you have that devil does not exist. No emoticon on purpose. The joke relies on assuming the devil exists - I apologize to any without a sense of humor.)

And, No, I do not think the devil values my soul that highly.

 

[Haley]

Well, no wonder they won in the playoffs! Westoff sold his soul to Satan; now it all makes sense.

No wonder I thought I saw Dorian Gray in the box seating...