Welcome to PatsFans.com

Jane Fonda's Condoms

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Harry Boy, Mar 23, 2007.

  1. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    40,143
    Likes Received:
    192
    Ratings:
    +649 / 2 / -9

    Wednesday, May 18, 2005
    Fonda Cucumbers Condoms

    The batty liberal screwballs are at it again. America’s favorite Viet Nam War Hero (now a born again Christian) Jane Fonda has found a new “crusade”. Between her Hollywood comeback, her Face And A$s Lift Operations, Jane has found a new cause.

    “Hanoi Hanna” now spends much of her time running all up and down the West Coast visiting public schools and handing out “free condoms” to little kids, (the little rascals think they are balloons) the kids started taking them out in the schoolyard, filling them with water, and then throwing them at each other. “Oh Boy”, water bombs. Some of the other kids were wearing them on their heads, others were blowing them up then sitting on them, a few blew them up then put them in the teachers desk drawer. One kid took his home, put it over his dog’s head and suffocated him. (to death) ha, ha.

    Well it hasn’t taken the Liberal Kooky Dip Sh!ts long to swing into action to fix this problem, they have started a program out there in the public schools that teach these kids the proper use of a “French Tickler”, "by God we know whats best for these kids and we'll show them how it's done. (God bless Jimmy Carter)

    Left Coast Teachers are now being supplied with “Big Cucumbers” along with their electric pencil sharpeners.
    Each morning Ms Jones, who is little Jimmy’s “social study’s” teacher hauls out her “big fat cucumber", then she holds up a nice new Lamb Skin Condom, (hot damn), all the kids are on the edge of their seats, “WOW” what’s Ms Jones going to do, YOWEEEE.

    Ms Jones then proceeds to show the class of Eleven and Twelve year old students the proper way to “Don A Condom”, as Ms Jones unrolls the soft lamb skin protector down over the “Green Cucumber” she starts to breath heavily and a slight mist develops in her left eye ball, she try’s to speak to the class but all that comes out is a garbled gurgle, she then starts drooling, her lips and eye lids are twitching, she starts kicking her desk, some of the children start crying, Ms Jones now has the cucumber in one hand and is punching the blackboard with the other, the children have now panicked, some have ran screaming from the room others have urinated on the floor, several have fainted.

    The commotion has attracted the attention of Mr Smith the “Diversity Teacher” next door, he enters Ms Jones classroom and is astonished at what he sees, Ms Jones is under her desk holding a Cucumber, she is moaning and shouting obscenity’s, children are calling for their mothers and up on the wall behind Ms Jones desk is a large portrait of Jane Fonda holding a Box Of Condoms, under the picture there is a sign that reads, “FREE CONDOMS, HAVE YOU GOT YOURS YET”

    Outside, several ambulances and the local “Swat Team” have arrived. Ms Jones had a heart attack under her desk and died.

    Several Days Later At Little Mary Janes House House 3:00 PM.
    “Hi Mom, I’m home”
    “Hi Sweetie, how was school today”
    “It was Ok Mom”
    Pause
    “Hey Mom”
    “Yes Mary”
    “Mom, have we got any Cucumbers”??
    :bricks:
  2. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Messages:
    13,674
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0




    I wonder how many people have read "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire".

    Or the history of the Greek (actually, Macedonian) Empire, and how it dissolved into nothing.

    I wonder how many have thought about the rise and fall of all the great civilazations, China, the Spanish, the Portuguese, the Incas and Mayans.

    Then, there's Sodom and Gomorrah.

    Sexual promiscuity is the one common denominator that lead the way for great civilizations to fall.



    //
  3. sdaniels7114

    sdaniels7114 Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    5,742
    Likes Received:
    7
    Ratings:
    +7 / 0 / -0

    Harry, I appreciate your willingness to take risks to entertain and inform us. I think of you as the Andres Serrano of Patsfans; but to be honest, this effort was just creepy.
  4. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    18,048
    Likes Received:
    185
    Ratings:
    +259 / 10 / -11

    Some people think it's the Kings who shape history, some people think it's the working people, others think it's the environment, while still others think its economics. Then there's that small group who looks at history as a series of sexual episodes. Those conservatives, obsessed with sex, have been pushing this idea for years, but among historians it's not taken seriously.
  5. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    41,756
    Likes Received:
    178
    Ratings:
    +359 / 11 / -27

    BUT SEX IS SEXY AND RIGHT WINGERS LOVE TO TALK ABOUT, BUT REMEMBER THEY NEVER THINK ABOUT IT OR DO IT.. EXCEPT FOR NEWT, AND THE PREACHERS
  6. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Messages:
    13,674
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0

    Patters:

    Some people think it's the Kings who shape history, some people think it's the working people, others think it's the environment, while still others think its economics. Then there's that small group who looks at history as a series of sexual episodes. Those conservatives, obsessed with sex, have been pushing this idea for years, but among historians it's not taken seriously.


    :D


    Yo, dudes, no one can even go to a bus stop anymore without getting hammered by sex ads -- from Calvin Klein to coffee pots to toothpaste -- always with some babe, and now even some guys, flashing whatever they got. Do kids need that?!! Hell, no.

    Didn't used to be like that. No sir. Used to be far more discreet, at least.

    As to your points about *WHY* sex has always been an important issue: it is what it is. Every historian has talked about it, every religious text addresses it, every culture has proscriptions regarding it -- you cannot pin this on the big bad "vast right-wing conspiracy"!!! :rofl:

    Smell the Starbucks, guys. Sex is how we all got here, and that's never going to change. Thus, it behooves us all to do it right, not just do it because it "feels good".

    I have a sneaking suspicion that, bottom line, the reason why some people call themselves "agnostic" or "atheistic" is because they don't want to take a deep serious look at these crucial facts of life.

    Love is sacred. The moment we start trying to work to our own personal advantage without regard to the results of how it affects others, we are in very deep sh!t. That's why sacred texts, like the torah, the talmud, and virtually all others, cite the story of first man and first woman (Adam and Eve). The loss of faith and subsequent disobedience of our first ancestors started love off on the completely wrong foot, and human history shows the terrible price that has been paid, again and again and again.

    It doesn't matter what today's scientists think or not; what matters is what's true or not. And, truth be told, more and more scientists are warming to the "intelligent design" of life rather than the old Darwinian "accident" theory of life. There are just too many specific and precise needs in the chain of life to conclude that it is all just a "big accident"; there MUST be a creative power behind it all. And if we are not in sync with that power, we make ourselves outcasts to the universe, aka as hell. Mankind gradually has been awakening to this central truth and now it shows forth more clearly every day.



    //
  7. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2006
    Messages:
    20,519
    Likes Received:
    290
    Ratings:
    +555 / 7 / -9

    I'm fairly certain the putative sacredness of sex was brought up often in shaping attitudes toward a certain unwed mother and bastard child in the Galilee some 2,000 years ago.

    I, by contrast, do not bludgeon people about what they do with their own privates, although I have no particular beliefs as regard said unwed mother and bastard child.

    I would think, however, that under the "glass houses" provision of the hypocrisy act of 4 b.c.e., that believers in such an unorthodox holy family would have the good grace and sense not to foist such moralistic analyses on the rest of us.

    PFnV
  8. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    40,143
    Likes Received:
    192
    Ratings:
    +649 / 2 / -9

    I Love Sex
    My Neighbors Wife Loves Sex
    I Just Took Her Into My Garage And Showed Her My New Rake.

    I don't like Democrats telling the kids of America that Clintons Blow Job was OK then they want to crucify one of those kids for doing the same thing on the school bus and the girls father (democrat) wants to break the kids legs

    I don't like to sit in my living with my grand daughters and watch Michael Douglas Screw Sharon Stone standing up against the refrigerator.

    Sex Is GREAT but why do they have to put it up on Billboards and in Diarrhea commercials

    ___________________________________________________
    I wish my teacher had raped me.
    :rocker:
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2007
  9. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Messages:
    13,674
    Likes Received:
    10
    Ratings:
    +10 / 0 / -0



    Jesus birth was highly unorthodox, that's for sure. So was Jesus' ancestor, the woman named Tamar, who gave birth to twins, Perez and Zerah, who were fathered by her father-in-law, after her original husband died (and his brother, given to her as a substitute husband, also died). Tamar had to dress like a prostitute and then wait for her father-in-law to tempt him into fertilizing her. She did this knowing that the she could easily be killed under the law for "adultery", yet she had the conviction that she must bear the seed of Judah because she believed his seed would someday produce the Messiah.

    Jesus' mother, Mary, likewise could have easily been stoned to death for "fornication" (adultery) by having a relationship with a married man, John the Baptist's father, Zechariah. But Mary's betrothed, Joseph, covered for her, and she was allowed to live. Mary did this all because of dreams she had in her life that told her she was to be the mother of the Messiah.

    In both these women's lives, they had to make a decision that could easily have cost them their one and only lives. They both could have been stoned to death for adultery, yet they bot did what they did because they believed in their hearts that they *HAD* to do this for the sake of God's will to produce the child that Satan could not accuse.

    Sound strange? It's not. It is because Satan originally tempted Adam and Eve -- starting with Eve -- and caused them to lose faith and trust in God, that later a woman had to deceive Satan by taking one of his lineage of humankind back to God. God is allowed payback and Satan cannot complain.

    As to what people do or do not do with the knowledge of what works for eternity and what doesn't, it is always up to the individual to decide. I haven't seen anything close to a "bludgeon" around here. Go to Iran or the Taliban if you want to see bludgeons. As far as telling people to "shut up" (in so many words), damn, that sounds like censorship if you ask me.


    //
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2007
  10. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2006
    Messages:
    20,519
    Likes Received:
    290
    Ratings:
    +555 / 7 / -9

    Actually, you'll have to find me telling you to shut up, to say I told you to shut up. And censorship would be if I were running the board, and just closed your account, because I disagreed with you.

    What you are reading as censorship, is somebody disagreeing with your attitudes. You'll also note that I was not specifically sniping at you, but at the argument. These are two different things.

    Finally, the actual quote of what I said related to those who would see the family circumstances of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, as unorthodox. "I, by contrast, do not bludgeon people with my beliefs," refers directly back to that hypothetical circumstance.

    To be offended, you would have to place yourself in the position of those who would decry the Christian "holy family."

    QED

    PFnV
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2007

Share This Page

unset ($sidebar_block_show); ?>