Armen Da Pats Fan's Top Ten Stupidest Things I Ever Said About the Patriots List! --------------------------------------------------- 10. "Ben Coates will be a mentor to Rod Rutledge and turn him into an All-World tight end!" (before the two of them ended up getting arrested for dragging up I-95 on the way home from Foxy Lady in Providence). 9. "If Lisa Olsen wants to be in the locker room, then she's gotta be able to handle a pat on the buttocks and a close-up of Zeke Mowatt's schlong!" (This was before God blessed me with TWO daughters, one of whom wants to be a journalist!)" 8. "The Patriots will bring the Bears back down to earth. Lester Williams, Garin Veris and Julius Adams will be in McMahon's face all day! Ray Clayborn will have at least one INT returned for a TD! Irving Fryar will be the MVP! Patriots 30, Bears, 13! You heard it here first!" 7. "Adriann Klemm will be in the Hall of Fame someday!" 6. "Former-UM CB Duane Starks will make our secondary amazing!" 5. "Richard Seymour is faking injury because he doesn't want to be here. That's why he held out. He's a half-baked player. We'll be fine without him!" 4. "Lawyer Milloy is the heart and friggin soul of this team! Get ready for a 3-13 season!" 3. "Finally, we got rid of those lazy, good-for-nothin' Sullivans and we have a decent owner! Victor Kiam is going to put his electric razor money behind this franchise and deliver us a Super Bowl championshipship!" 2. "Richard Seymour? We left David Terrell on the board and took Richard Seymour?" 1. (While sitting in the stands at Foxboro, September 23, 2001): "Who the he!! is this Brady kid? Jesus, our whole season just went down the tubes. There is no way this team can win without Bledsoe!"