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If Kerry Had Won

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Harry Boy, Feb 14, 2006.

  1. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    ~KERRY WINS~
    John Kerry Is The New President Of The United States:

    "WHEEL CHAIRS FOR SALE, CHEAP"

    "THE WAR IS OVER, SADDAM SAYS HE WOULD LIKE TO BECOME A BAPTIST MINISTER"

    "BIN LADEN SURRENDERS, THE KERRY PEOPLE SEND HIM TO THE "BETTY FORD FOUNDATION" TO BE REHABILITATED"

    UNCLE TEDDY SAYS HE IS "GOING ON THE WAGON"

    ALL DEATH ROW INMATES SET FREE, JESSE JACKOFF SAYS THEY ARE ALL INNOCENT, HE SAYS WHITE LAWYERS FRAMED THEM.

    ALL McDONALDS HAMBURG WORKERS GIVEN $30 AN HOUR RAISES.

    ALL LARGE COOPERATIONS WILL BE SHUT DOWN, ALL CEO's WILL BE SHOT.

    ALL WEAPONS WILL BE TAKEN AWAY FROM THE MILITARY.

    AMPUTEES AND RETARDED PEOPLE WILL BE GIVEN FIRST PREFERANCE WHEN TAKING POLICE AND FIRE EXAMS.

    EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE SURFBOARD.

    EVERYBODY IN AMERICA WILL RECEIVE A FREE BOTTLE OF KETCHUP.

    TERRORISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS AND SAY "WERE SORRY"

    ARIEL SHARON AND YASSAR ARRAFAT WILL HAVE ANAL INTERCOURSE PRIMETIME ON CBS, DAN RATHER WILL MASTURBATE WHILE WATCHING THIS HISTORIC EVENT, JESSE JACKOFF WILL ALSO BE PRESENT AND WILL BE SCREAMING OVER AND OVER, "PRAISE JESUS" "THANK YOU LORD" PRAISE GOD".

    AFTER THE SEXUAL CLIMAX, YASSAR, ARIEL, JESSE AND DAN WILL ALL JOIN HANDS AND SING "WE SHALL OVERCOME".

    THEN, IN HOSPITALS ALL OVER THE PLANET PEOPLE WILL BE RISING FROM THEIR WHEEL CHAIRS, SOBBING AND YELLING, "DEAR HOLY GOD IT'S A MIRACLE, I CAN WALK, OH SH!T, THANK YOU SAVIOUR KERRY, BLESS YOU.

    YES THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED, THE HATED BUSH WILL BE GONE, HIS PICTURE WILL BE REMOVED FROM EVERY BUILDING IN AMERICA, THE MAN WAS EVIL, HE HAD A DUI THIRTY YEARS AGO AND DEAR JESUS WORST OF ALL, HE WENT AWOL.

    THE NEW PRESIDENT SITS IN THE OVAL OFFICE MUTTERING TO HIMSELF, "I HAVE A PLAN, I HAVE A PLAN"
  2. Turk

    Turk Rookie

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    Sshhhhhhhhh,
    I can almost hear Charles Darwin rolling over in his grave.
    He has been proven wrong, again:)
  3. patriotspride

    patriotspride Banned

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    thats a classic . :D :D :D
  4. gomezcat

    gomezcat It's SIR Moderator to you Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I take issue with the Iraq thing. Kerry, as I understand it, had every intention of carrying on with the occupation.
    The deficit would probably be smaller by now, though.
  5. Turd Furguson

    Turd Furguson Rookie

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    And he would have caught Osama too? I wish he'd tell us where he is since only he knows.


    What else would Komrade Kerry have done NEM?

    -Cured Cancer

    -Freed Ted Williams frozen head

    -Found Natalie Holloway

    -Singlehandedly disarmed Iran and North Korea's nuclear program

    -Brought the price of gas down to -1.45, thats right, you'd GET BACK a dollar forty five for every gallon.

    -Given Hollywood fresh ideas for their movie mills

    -Found Amelia Earhardt

    -Found Waldo

    -Gotten the US to Venus, Neptune AND Jupiter

    -Found the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot and the Yeti.
  6. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I don't think anyone, right or left, other than Bush II would have gone into Iraq in the first place. But, now that we're there, it's obvious that Kerry would have worked to build an international coalition to share the burden and perhaps ameliorate at least part of the Iraqi insurgency. Bush's approach has been to alienate just about everyone. It's pathetic that we have virtually no one helping us foot the bill for Iraq. Even Bush's father did a much better job in his economic management of war. That the righties still defend Bush's handling of the war is disingenuous at best. Even if you agree with the war, you should have some doubts about the expenses, the lack of international aid, and our inability to win wider Iraqi support.
  7. JLC

    JLC Rookie

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    OK, I admit it... I agree with you! :D
  8. ELOrocks17

    ELOrocks17 Guest

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    ...And thats during his first year in office!
    During his second year Kerry will:

    Discover Atlantis

    Ressurect Jon bennet Ramsey

    Build a stairway to heaven

    "Old Faithfull" will spew Crown royal

    Chocolate will help you lose weight

    Cigarettes will cost 50 cents a pack

    Cars will run on water
  9. sdaniels7114

    sdaniels7114 Rookie

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    The last Dem administration took this country from the largest deficit in our history to the largest surplus in our history. Considering the fact that we're right back at a brand spanking new largest deficit in American history, I'd say we could use a little Democrat-style fiscal responsibility right about now. Besides, I'm all out of Ketchup.
  10. ELOrocks17

    ELOrocks17 Guest

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    Dont even get me started on that....
  11. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Beacon Hill Boston 11:30 PM:
    A man sits in a chair staring at the blank wall and muttering over and over, "I have plan" "I have a plan" "I have a plan", he then sobs and says, "I can't believe that idiot beat me"

    A voice comes from the bedroom:
    "John, take your medals off dear and come to bed, we have to get up early, we're going for a ride with Uncle Teddy, he's going to show us how he drives up and down the sidwalk in Hyannis".

    "But, I have a plan"
  12. PatsFanInEaglesLand

    PatsFanInEaglesLand Rookie

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    #37 Jersey

    And our tax rates would be through the roof.
  13. PatsFanInEaglesLand

    PatsFanInEaglesLand Rookie

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    #37 Jersey

    I complain about taxes now I am an accomplice to murder? WTF!
  14. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Nem is cracking up :rocker:
  15. sdaniels7114

    sdaniels7114 Rookie

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    Admit it. Neither one of you has the first clue about what he's talking about concerning taxes in general vs payroll taxes.
  16. wistahpatsfan

    wistahpatsfan Rookie

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    #75 Jersey

    Too bad the supporters of the Iraq Occupation don't understand how much this is costing for the next generation. Bu the time they are adults, oil will be gone or unfeasible to extract (hopefully we'll have found an alternative energy) and they'll be paying down on the debt to the Chinese, who will have emerged as the leading economic force in the world and living like we do now due to their patience and practicality. Even though collection of revenue has become more efficient because of improved computer monitoring by the IRS and the phasing-out of cash in our society, the government, regardless of who's in power, continues to spend money like a drunken sailor. The worst "entitlement" in this country is the one the government thinks it has to the money you break your back for. I'm for the MINIMAL amount of taxes for the same reason you don't give heroin to a junkie. Swedes and Icelanders don't complain about paying 55% income tax because their governments spend the money efficiently. Not so here.

    As far as the dead in Iraq, the election of Kerry would have had a marginal effect, if any. That weakling would have been spending his time trying to look tough while compassionate to stay in the "mainstream" as is the current dem policy. They have truly lost their way and don't have the guts to stick with someone who represents their core beliefs.
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2006
  17. PatsFanInEaglesLand

    PatsFanInEaglesLand Rookie

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    #37 Jersey

    Oh golly thanks little fellow, I will tell that to Harrisburg and the IRS after I do my first quarter taxes, sorry I am not paying because I am clueless about the differences in taxes, sorry I didn't take out social security or collect sales taxes, I am clueless :eek: Maybe I will also try this with my school district and local tax collector.

    Blubbering liberal

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