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How to tell the difference....

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Fogbuster, Nov 4, 2008.

  1. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

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    ... like it is:


    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude
    and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, 'Excuse me, can you
    help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know
    where I am.'

    The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, 'You're in a hot air
    balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above
    sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100
    degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.'

    She rolled her eyes and said, 'You must be a Republican.'

    'I am,' replied the man. 'How did you know?'

    'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically
    correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still
    lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me.'

    The man smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'

    'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'

    'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going.
    You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made
    a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your
    problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but,
    somehow, now it's my fault.'


    :D


    //
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2008
  2. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Dear Red States:

    If you manage to steal this election too, we've decided we're leaving. We
    intend to form our own country, and we're taking all the Blue States with
    us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon,
    Washington, Colorado, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the
    Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and
    especially to the people of the new country of New Columbia

    To sum up briefly:

    You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
    We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

    We get the Statue of Liberty.
    You get Dollywood.

    We get Intel and Microsoft.
    You get WorldCom.

    We get Harvard.
    You get Ole' Miss.

    We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
    You get Alabama.

    We get two-thirds of the tax revenue,
    you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

    Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian
    Coalition's,
    we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

    Please be aware that Nuevo Columbia will be pro-choice and anti-war,
    and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need
    people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently
    willing to send to their deaths. We do wish you success in Iraq, once you
    define what "victory" means, but we're not willing to spend our resources in
    Bush's Quagmire.

    With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the
    country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of
    the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese,
    90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!),
    most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors,
    all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

    With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of
    all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S.
    mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all
    Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob
    Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

    We get Broadway, Martha's Vineyard, and the Big Sur, thank you.

    Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually
    swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the
    war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory,
    53% believe that Saddam was involved in 9/11, and 61% of the Red states
    believe that they are people with higher morals than the “left”.

    Peace out,
    Blue States
  3. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

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    .

    Dream on. The people who actually MADE those "Blue" states prosperous and blessed will have a lot to say about things before all is said and done. Carpet-baggers get NOTHING!! :D

    Count on it!!!

    Peace, out, for REAL, dawg.


    :singing: ---------- :singing: --------- :singing:



    //
  4. Born_a_Patriot

    Born_a_Patriot PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    That is Funny. Great response. Though I would never dream of breaking up the United States. Oh and you forgot Stanford.
  5. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

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    So you're NOT a Democrat then. Vote accordingly!!!



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  6. Lifer

    Lifer Banned

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    Palin is the one who wants Alaska to break away from the U.S.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. sdaniels7114

    sdaniels7114 Rookie

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    Blue States: Patriots

    Red States: Colts
  8. MrBigglesWorth

    MrBigglesWorth Rookie

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    :rofl::rofl:$10 trillion dollar debt, foreclosures galore, bailouts endorsed by bush, stimulus packages that don't work, looting of america's wealth through war profiteering, ruining the rep of america, and somehow gas was $4.00 a gallon over the summer and now it's 2.30. if you ask me...it must be halloween cause bush is dressed likely a lady. "man look like a lady"
  9. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

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    Enough of these socialist federalist policies.
    Time to cut strings with all the back-water red states who keep taking in massive federal aid.

    This welfare needs to stop. Time for the confederate states to accomplish their dream of forming their own 3rd world country.
  10. MrBigglesWorth

    MrBigglesWorth Rookie

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    naw , just treat them like alaska
  11. Fogbuster

    Fogbuster Rookie

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    .

    The man smiled and responded, 'You must be a Democrat.'

    'I am,' replied the balloonist. 'How did you know?'

    'Well,' said the man, 'you don't know where you are or where you're going.
    You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made
    a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your
    problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but,
    somehow, now it's my fault.'



    The truth is like salt in the wound. And it only gets saltier the drier the hot air blows.


    :D


    //
  12. cupofjoe1962

    cupofjoe1962 Rookie

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    That stat is a bit tainted.

    There is no divorce when there is no marriage.

    Joint Center:: DataBank

    Between 1980 and 1994, the proportion of all black families that were headed by single parents climbed from 52% to 65%. By 2000, however, this percentage had declined slightly to 63.2%. Among both white and Hispanic families, the percentage maintained by single parents increased between 1980 and 2000, among whites from 17.1% in 1980 to 26% in 2000, and from 25.9% to 35.4% for Hispanics. However, these increases still left the percentage of black families maintained by single parents more than twice the percentage for white families, and 75% higher than that for Hispanics.

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