How to stop the Pats running up the score: let's help the rest of the NFL

[gomezcat]

As the rest of the NFL is incapable of stopping the "disrespecting", "Cheatriots" and their coach "Bill Belicheat", I thought we should help them.

Here are some ideas I came up with from the obscure depths of my Football knowledge:

1) Tackling. Yes, I understand that the Pats are bloody good to watch, really I do. I also appreciate that they are wearing pads and running around quickly. However, forget all of that. Tackle them. Get your body in the way of a player (in this case the one with the ball. It's a oval shaped brown thingy, not to be confused with hot and steaming brown stuff). Put your arms out, dive towards him. Wrap arms around him and bring him down with your momentum.

DO NOT:
-Dive where he was. This won't stop him (complicated stuff to do with space-time continuum)
-Try to "tag" him.
-"or kiss him" (from Miss Gomezcat).

2) Disengage blocks. The fat guys in front of you are called Offensive Linemen. This is nothing to do with their smell, the language they use or the way they grab people's thingies. Their job is to stop you getting to the ball carrier. It is, within the rules of Football, perfectly legal to throw them aside and get to the ball carrier. By doing so, you can stop the "disrespecting" "Cheatriots" from running up the score.

3) Put pressure on the Quarterback. Behind the fat blokes, there's a lad with funny paint on his cheek bones. He has a number 12 on his Jersey. He is "Disser-in-Chief" Tom Brady. If it helps, think of him as having Irish Catholic ancestry and yourself as a Prod Bastard in an Orange Sash who hates Catholics (you can see how neutral I am in matters Irish). Hate this man with every fibre of your being. Go after him- REALLY after him. The fat blokes will try to stop you. Push past them, or if fast enough, run straight past them. Get to Quarterback while he has brown oval, non-smelly, thing. Use previously described tackling technique to sack him. Celebrate and point out that you "opened a can of whoop all over his sorry arse". Repeat- lots.

4) Score points of your own. The fat and less fat people on Defense will try to stop you, using such sneaky methods as coverage, blitzing, intimidation and so on. Turn your back on their childish attempts to put you off. Again, it is WITHIN THE RULES to keep the brown oval thing for ages and then cross their line with it. Do this by throwing it forward to a guy in the same coloured (sorry, colored) Jersey or running with it- forwards is good.
DO NOT throw the ball to one of the "disrespecting" "Cheatriots". They will laugh manically and run up the score with it.

5) Employ Snoopy. In the song "Snoopy versus the Red Baron", the "bloody Red Baron was rolling up the score". Snoopy shot him down.

 

[patsox23]

well done.

 

[BingoBrown]

6)invite players Mother to the side line were she can yell
"STOP EMBARRASSING MY BABY!"

 

[PatsWickedPissah]

Out Freakin' Standing, Meowser-Man!

 

[primetime]

and yourself as a Prod Bastard in an Orange Sash who hates Catholics

Pretend you're Gregg Easterbrook, in other words?

(Says the person posting from Trinity College Dublin, once the very heart of the Irish Protestant elite)

 

[sdaniels7114]

How many times did you explain this strategy last Sunday?

 

[nhpatsfan]

Well, well done

 

[RayClay]

You had me until you put my people down.

Jealous.

I'm not saying the English are light in the loafers, but when's the last time you heard an introduction anything like:

"Playing Tight End, Trevor Smythe Smythe from Brinsley on the Heather?"

 

[PatsFanInVa]

You had me until you put my people down.

Jealous.

I'm not saying the English are light in the loafers, but when's the last time you heard an introduction anything like:

"Playing Tight End, Trevor Smythe Smythe from Brinsley on the Heather?"

"Preferring to be introduced as one inbred, flavorless-cooking, empire-losing, equine-resembling, bad-toothed team..."

Heh. Just jealous of a damn good rant there, mate.

PFnV

 

[Frezo]

That was outstanding!

6: Have Bangers and Mash sent to the Pat's locker room at halftime. They'll be napping for the rest of the game.

 

[psychoPat]

Play 10 on 10 ... and 1 on 1 against Randy

Good show, and all that, g-cat.

But SERIOUSLY ...
i've been wondering what would happen if everyone stopped double-teaming Moss?
Repeatedly now we've seen him DISDAIN having two defenders right alongside.
He just snatches the ball from them.
The first guy covered him just fine (cf. Miami). What did the second guy add?
It was a TD anyway.

But Randy drawing a couple of defenders into high orbit with him
merely lets the other Patriots play 10 against 9.
As patchick points out in a parallel thread, that hasn't worked so well either.

At least as an experiment.

I s'pose Dungy has too much riding on this outcome to become the innovator.
But perhaps the Bills might try this after the bye.
What've they got to lose? What else they gonna do?

 

[zoostation]

As i posted before. Here's another way to stop the Patriots.

Each remaining team on the Patriots schedule should get a surrender flag. When the score gets out of hand and the opposing coach has had enough he simply throws the flag. Once the surrender flag is thrown, the game is over.

The new rule will solve 2 problems:

a) It limits the risk of the Patriots having a 2nd half injury
b) The oposing team can't cry that the Patriots kicked their a@@ too badly.

However...this rule does not apply to the NY Rats and their snitch head coach. The Patriots can kick their a@@ with the 2nd and 3rd string anyway.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[The Boston Patriot]

Get the girl from "Leave Brittany Alone" to scream at the Pats after the half:

"Leave [insert team name] Alone!"

 

[Captain Cliche]

Um....that's not a "girl".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qOW__TneAY

 

[rabthepat]

Opponents should bring a big white surrender flag and start waving it wildly before the initial game kick off. May be Bill will catch it out of the corner of his eyes and call the dogs off.

 

[gomezcat]

Re: Play 10 on 10 ... and 1 on 1 against Randy

Good show, and all that, g-cat.

But SERIOUSLY ...
i've been wondering what would happen if everyone stopped double-teaming Moss?
Repeatedly now we've seen him DISDAIN having two defenders right alongside.
He just snatches the ball from them.
The first guy covered him just fine (cf. Miami). What did the second guy add?
It was a TD anyway.

But Randy drawing a couple of defenders into high orbit with him
merely lets the other Patriots play 10 against 9.
As patchick points out in a parallel thread, that hasn't worked so well either.

At least as an experiment.

I s'pose Dungy has too much riding on this outcome to become the innovator.
But perhaps the Bills might try this after the bye.
What've they got to lose? What else they gonna do?

Good point, Psycho Pat. Why teams don't mix things up a little is beyond me. Has anyone thought of doing a bit of man along side some zone, for example?

 

[gomezcat]

You had me until you put my people down.

Jealous.

I'm not saying the English are light in the loafers, but when's the last time you heard an introduction anything like:

"Playing Tight End, Trevor Smythe Smythe from Brinsley on the Heather?"

Sorry! I was being naughty. I am English, but am half Irish. I was trying to think of a way that these guys could fire themselves up to really hate Brady and I came up with the Protestant thing.