Detroit -3 over Cleveland Nice defensive effort on Monday night for Browns. Team still not good enough to win at fearsome Ford Field six days later. Michigan puts one over Ohio. Jacksonville -9 over Buffalo Somewhat of a similar spot for the Bills as last week at Tennessee, and you know how that turned out. Who gets fired this week? Kansas City +10 over Pittsburgh I think this is wrong even as I type it, but this isn't a spot where I expect to see the Steeler's A-game. Obviously their D-game should be enough to beat KC's Unshine band, but they MIGHT get themselves in a lazy hole early. Baltimore +1 over Sindy The Colts will get upset when their uniforms get - gasp! - rain, mud and grass-stains on them, and never recover their poise. (Not so funny if Baltimore don't have a grass field, but I can't be bothered to check). NYG -6.5 over Atlanta An informant in the Falcons front office tells me Matt Ryan is only rated 'probable' with severe razor burn after a recent TV commercial shoot, likely to be hampered even if he plays. Washington -11 over Dallas The hapless 'Skins don't get blown out much. Cowboys best chance to cover 11 may be to add to the low-flying scoreboard and sun-in-your-eyes picture window with a shark tank in their endzone. Jerry Jones is lobbying the NFL Rules Committee for permission. Tampa Bay -11.5 over New Orleans Basing this pick on the obvious fact that if a bunch of real Buccaneers met a bunch of real saints, they would slaughter them with their cutlasses. Sometimes it pays to think outside the box. St Louis +9 over Arizona Cards are better at laying eggs than [insert name of a famous chicken]. Not a confident pick - I can't even think of a famous chicken by myself. Green Bay -6.5 over San Francisco A friend tells me it isn't actually all that warm in San Francisco, but I am going to jump on the bandwagon of ridiculous sports-media cliches: 49ers lose this game because they will struggle handling the ball with woolly mittens and scarves on. Minnesota -11 over Seattle Vikings didn't beat Lions by much more than 11, and Seattle will probably throw with some success. However, Matt Hasselbeck is still struggling with emotional issues after the Republicans lost the White House and therefore tends to fade late in the game. Superbowl-bound Vikings capitalise on the under-rated "political trauma" handicapping angle. New England -10.5 over New Jersey Jets I went on about how over-rated the Jets were while they were sitting at 3-0. Forgive me my schadenfraude. Ryan's team are better at 'big-mouth' than 'smash-mouth', chalk up a blowout for the taciturn New England machine. Oakland +9.5 over Cincinnatti In all seriousness, I am typing all this under the influence of Vicodin (broken collarbone, not expected to return). Still, this is a let-down game for Bengals and for anyone who has to watch it. Denver +3 over San Diego League-low yards-per-carry for Chargers doesn't bode well at Mile High. They will throw, throw and throw some more, which could turn into a handy pick or two for a hungry Denver squad. And if Chris Simms does QB for the Broncos - how do you defend against a left-handed quarterback? I've never played football, but that must be almost impossible, right? Philadelphia -3 over Chicago Jay Cutler comes from a town called Santa Claus, no wonder he keeps handing gifts to defensive backs. (I don't suppose I'm the first person to say that). Tennessee +4.5 over Houston Truly consider this the hardest game to call of the entire weekend, so I went with reverse alphabetical order. There are worse ways to break a tie - such as the current NFL overtime rules. If these don't go 15-0 I'll shrug and get on with my life.