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Good Thinking

Discussion in 'Political Discussion' started by Turk, Jul 29, 2006.

  1. Turk

    Turk Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
    then -- just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another,
    and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone --
    "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

    Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was
    thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home. One
    evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She
    spent that night at her mother's.

    I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
    mix, but I couldn't help myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I
    could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office
    dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

    One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it
    hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you
    don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave
    me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the
    boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking... . ".

    "I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But
    Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip
    aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors
    don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
    "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently. She exploded in tears
    of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional
    drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I
    headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the
    parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They
    didn't open. The library was closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher
    Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass,
    whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy
    thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It
    comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.

    This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a
    TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it
    was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since
    the last meeting. I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
    Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think
    the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.


    Today I took the final step............ I joined the
    Republican Party and now I agree
    with President Bush that a $300 billion deficit is quite an
    economic accomplishment!
     
  2. Turk

    Turk Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    A Saint

    President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his poll standings.

    Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the president's position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Katrina, and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."

    The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

    Bush showed up for the sermon and the Bishop began: "I'd like to speak to you all this morning about our President. George Bush is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people. He lied about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money,causing the deaths of tens of thousands and making the United States the most hated country on earth.

    He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more poverty in this country, and a greater gap between rich and poor, than we've had since the Depression.

    He instituted illegal wiretaps when getting a warrant from a secret court would have been a mere administrative detail, had his henchmen lie to Congress about it, then claimed he is above the law. He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since Teapot Dome. The national surplus has turned into a staggering national debt of 7.6 Trillion, gas prices are up 85%, and vital research into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because he's afraid to lose votes from some religious kooks.

    He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known. But compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, George Bush is a saint.
     
  3. Turd Furguson

    Turd Furguson Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    Re: A Saint

    Oh I get it, a joke to espouse your continuing theory that Bush is bad. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
     
  4. QuiGon

    QuiGon Banned

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    Re: A Saint

    Go ahead and bash Bush all you want but, for the love of God, please try not to do it with 10 year old jokes that have simply been recycled with new names.
     
  5. IcyPatriot

    IcyPatriot ------------- PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #87 Jersey

    I still wait for the 1st Bush basher who comes out and says they want to go live in Syria, Iran, Iraq, China, North Korea ...just to name a few. I still don't understand how a country so bad has people beating upon it's borders to get in?:confused: ?
     
  6. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I don't think Iraq belongs on that list. Bush made it into an ally, remember. I'd consider living in China. Now, tell us, would you consider living in Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, or Iraq?

    And what do you mean you're still waiting? Did you ever ask?
     
  7. ELOrocks17

    ELOrocks17 Guest

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    Re: A Saint

    Sounds more like Bishop NEM
     
  8. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    :singing: :singing: Oh Sh!t
    :bricks:

    Imagine Gore/Kerry trying to handle all the stuff that is going on in the world today, Muslims would be blowing up malls in Baltimore and Al Gore would be out counting "smoke-stacks", John Fonda Kerry would be "surfboarding" with Walter Dongkite.

    Give me some men who are stout hearted men.
     
  9. ELOrocks17

    ELOrocks17 Guest

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    Yes...its sad that Clinton squandered Regans legacy of zero tollerance on terrorism...sad indeed. Clinton should be LEGALLY brought up on treason charges.
     
  10. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    9/11
    Clinton had eight years
    Bush had eight months

    Who do the Sore Loser Haters blame :singing:
     
  11. ELOrocks17

    ELOrocks17 Guest

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    Who the libtards SHOULD blame:
    Jimmy Carter
    Madeline Halfbright
    Bill Clinton
    Hillary Clinton
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2005
  12. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Muslims attacked America in 1993 (1st WTC bombing)

    Clinton and Janet Reno attacked Waco Texas.

    Saddam gassed little kids.

    Clinton/Reno burned little kids alive.
     
  13. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Trying to pass the buck, eh Harry? The terrorists waited for an incompetent like Bush to come into office. There's plenty of evidence of incompetence back then. Look how badly Bush mangled intelligence. Not only did 9/11 happen, but we went into Iraq by mistake! Because we thought they had WMDs! Imagine that, a country destroyed, tens of thousands lives wiped out, including 2500 Americans, tens of thousands of injuries -- all because of a mistake. This administration is incompetent, and only your strange love for Bush is keeping you blind.

    Clinton was not president on 9/11, therefore he could not have prevented the attack. Bush was president, therefore he could have prevented the attack.
     
  14. QuiGon

    QuiGon Banned

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    Yeah. Right. Sure they did, Nem. And if Al Gore had won, then 9/11 wouldn't have happened...?
    Whatever you say, Nem. :rolleyes:
     
  15. ELOrocks17

    ELOrocks17 Guest

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    The USS COle was attacked on Oct 12, 2000. Bush was inagurated on Jan 20,2001. For you to blame Bush for something that occoured 4 months before he bacame President is just ridiculous!
     
  16. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Who knows! The only thing we can say with certainly is that with George Bush as President the worst terrorist attack on America happened. That's a fact you can't argue with. Everything else is hypothesis. The right tries to construct a theory of plausible deniability because they don't want to take responsibility for 9/11. If Clinton had been president or if Gore had been president, I don't think 9/11 would have occurred. We had more allies then in the Middle East then, and I think we would have been tipped off. But that's a hypothesis, too, of course.
     
  17. QuiGon

    QuiGon Banned

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    Yup. Sure. Whatever you say, Nem.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2006
  18. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    If Bush had the time to wiretap, profile, and detain and question every Arab that came to America the Towers would be standing today.

    The savages made their plans while Billy Blue Dress was having phone sex and playing around with the movie stars down on Marthas Vineyard.

    Clinton had eight years
    Bush had eight months

    Bush attacked Iraq
    Clinton attacked Waco

    Clinton bombed a Chinese Embassy :singing:
     
  19. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    He should have made the time. Eight months is a lifetime in politics. He didn't get it done.

    Clinton kept us quite safe from the "savages" during his eight years. He certainly couldn't have done anything during Bush's first 8 months. Too bad Bush just wasn't smart enough to protect our country, and now he causing our soldiers to die practically every day. But, hey, we have lots of soldiers left.

    If Gore had won, one of our allies would have tipped us off to 9/11. But, Bush "won," ignored the Middle East, misread intelligence, and simply wasn't smart enough to run a well managed Executive Office. He had 8 months. That's a lot of time, especially since he has a staff of seasoned professionals and our government has a lot of experience in ensuring a transition.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2005
  20. QuiGon

    QuiGon Banned

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    Tell that to the shipmates on the USS Cole.

    Oh really...? Which one...? Please share with us which of our allies would have tipped us off to 9/11 - or admit you're just talking out your arse.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2006

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