George Carlin Baseball vs. Football

Discussion in ' - Patriots Fan Forum' started by patriot lifer, Jun 20, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. patriot lifer

    patriot lifer In the Starting Line-Up

    #87 Jersey

  2. signbabybrady

    signbabybrady Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

    #22 Jersey

    George Carlin is the greatest comedian ever.
  3. dalero

    dalero Supporter Supporter

    Loved him. His stuff is timeless and will live forever.
  4. NJPatsfan26

    NJPatsfan26 In the Starting Line-Up

    #12 Jersey

    Couldn't agree more. George Carlin is and will always be the best. From the 7 dirty words, to his views of religion, he was the greatest.
  5. Gwedd

    Gwedd Supporter Supporter

    #11 Jersey

    Man, I remember when he first added this to his routine. I laughed so hard I nearly passed out. You prolly had to be there.

    Bill Cosby is another great one. those two are benchmarks for stand-up work. :rocker:
  6. Reckedtrek

    Reckedtrek 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

    #95 Jersey

    I see your Cosby and Raise you Richard Pryor. Actually all three are/were brilliant.
  7. Gwedd

    Gwedd Supporter Supporter

    #11 Jersey

    Oh yeah. Pryor was sensational, and could also leave you in stitches.
  8. lillestroom

    lillestroom Practice Squad Player

    Last edited: Jun 20, 2010
  9. efin98

    efin98 Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract

    "Can you imagine Bill Parcells in his Giants uniform?"

    20 years later and a picture that would make anyone gag :eek:

    This is one of those acts that never gets old because it's too damn true- parody of both sports with overemphasis on the positives and negatives of each with great comedic timing and punchlines

    Nice timing on this thread...almost two years to the day since his passing(June 22nd 2008 :()
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2010
  10. RPMCanes

    RPMCanes On the Roster

    I'd actually put him at #2, only behind the late, great Rodney Dangerfield.
  11. Fixit

    Fixit Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract

    Too many worthy guys to proclaim a #1, but this thread is criminally incomplete without Sam Kinison and Eddie Murphy. I think people have forgotten how funny Murphy was in standup. Lots of bad movies will do that.
  12. patriot lifer

    patriot lifer In the Starting Line-Up

    #87 Jersey

    YES! I love Kinison. For those of you who don't know him, watch the whole clip. He has a...unique style.

    YouTube - Sam Kinison World Hunger
  13. TBradyOwnsYou

    TBradyOwnsYou 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

    Dave Chappelle was going to go down in history as one of the greatest comics ever until he went crazy... :(
  14. Frezo

    Frezo In the Starting Line-Up

    #50 Jersey

    Sam was the original shock comic. Before doing the movie "Back To School" he was banned from all Boston clubs because of his material. One club that didn't ban him was Caferty's in Brockton. He did a show there right after the movie. His popularity was as high as ever. Kenny Rogerson was on the bill. Sam called him to the stage and gave him a bottle of Moet challenging him to drink it. He got about 30% of it down. Sam asked him if he'd ever been married. Ken said no. Sam said, "Watch this" and he guzzled an entire bottle. He was so topped out on blow that it didn't even effect him. I have the show on cassette somewhere. It was the day before the 86 Super Bowl.

    The mid to late 80s and into the 90s was the golden age of standup comics. Hollywood hadn't priced them out of the market yet and they were still doing clubs and colleges. I was fortunate to mix audio for a lot of them. It was a unfgorgetable time in my life. Some of them were:

    Steven Wright
    Dennis Miller
    Dana Carvey
    Gallagher (one of my favorites)

    My all time fav is John Valby aka Dr Dirty. After being completely inundated by filth for about 5 minutes and becoming numb to it, his routine is amazing. He used to play the Hampton Beach Casino on a regular basis.
    JOHN VALBY.COM ~the official website of "Dr.Dirty"
  15. Fixit

    Fixit Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract

    I saw Valby live twice. His shows were like a party.
  16. signbabybrady

    signbabybrady Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

    #22 Jersey

    I agree with this after number one....To me Carlin was just so good...he could do it all, the Dirty, the weird, the way he made fun of the english language, His cracks on Religion, The many long songs he would make that made fun of a topic (the advertising lulaby, the modern man), he could give you weird face or bounce around the stage and make you laugh, the list goes on and on as far as how many different ways he could get a laugh.

    Just some examples of his greatness -

    “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity”

    “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live”
    “"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?”

    “The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.”

    "This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out.'"

    "I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. On Election Day, I stay home. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. Now, some people like to twist that around. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You voted them in. You caused the problem. You have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for that these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created."

    I'm a modern man...

    I'm a modern man
    A man for the millennium
    Digital and smoke free

    A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist
    Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect

    I've been uplinked and downloaded
    I've been inputted and outsourced
    I know the upside of downsizing
    I know the downside of upgrading

    I'm a high tech lowlife
    A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker
    And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond

    I'm new wave but I'm old school
    And my inner child is outward bound

    I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer
    Voice activated and biodegradable

    I interface from a database
    And my database is in cyberspace
    So I'm interactive
    I'm hyperactive
    And from time-to-time
    I'm radioactive

    Behind the eight ball
    Ahead of the curve
    Riding the wave
    Dodging a bullet
    Pushing the envelope

    I'm on point
    On task
    On message
    And off drugs
    I got no need for coke and speed
    I got no urge to binge and purge

    I'm in the moment
    On the edge
    Over the top
    But under the radar

    A high concept
    Low profile
    Medium range ballistic missionary
    A street-wise smart bomb
    A top gun bottom feeder

    I wear power ties
    I tell power lies
    I take power naps
    I run victory laps

    I'm a totally ongoing big foot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach
    A raging workaholic
    A working rageaholic
    Out of rehab
    And in denial

    I got a personal trainer
    A personal shopper
    A personal assistant
    And a personal agenda

    You can't shut me up
    You can't dumb me down
    'Cause I'm tireless
    And I'm wireless
    I'm an alpha male on beta blockers

    I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever
    Laid back but fashion forward

    Up front
    Down home
    Low rent
    High maintenance

    Super size
    Long lasting
    High definition
    Fast acting
    Oven ready
    And built to last

    I'm a hands on
    Knee jerk
    Head case

    Prematurely post-traumatic
    And I have a love child who sends me hate mail

    But I'm feeling
    I'm caring
    I'm healing
    I'm sharing
    A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver

    My output is down
    But my income is up
    I take a short position on the long bond
    And my revenue stream has its own cash flow

    I read junk mail
    I eat junk food
    I buy junk bonds
    I watch trash sports

    I'm gender specific
    Capital intensive
    User friendly
    And lactose intolerant

    I like rough sex...
    I like rough sex
    I like tough love
    I use the f word in my email
    And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn

    I bought a microwave at a mini mall
    I bought a mini van in a mega store
    I eat fast food in the slow lane

    I'm toll free
    Bite sized
    Ready to wear
    And I come in all sizes

    A fully equipped
    Factory authorized
    Hospital tested
    Clinically proven
    Scientifically formulated medical miracle

    I've been pre-washed
    And I have an unlimited broadband capacity

    I'm a rude dude
    But I'm the real deal
    Lean and mean
    ****ed, locked and ready to rock
    Rough tough and hard to bluff

    I take it slow
    I go with the flow
    I ride with the tide
    I got glide in my stride

    Drivin' and movin'
    Sailin' and spinnin'
    Jivin' and groovin'
    Wailin' and winnin'

    I don't snooze
    So I don't lose
    I keep the pedal to the metal
    And the rubber on the road

    I party hearty
    And lunch time is crunch time

    I'm hanging in
    There ain't no doubt
    And I'm hanging tough
    Over and out
  17. BradyBranch39

    BradyBranch39 In the Starting Line-Up

  18. TrueBeliever

    TrueBeliever 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

    My personal favorite... "In football you commit a penalty. In baseball, you make an error! Whoooooooops!" ;)

    Carlin was brilliant. He was one of those rare entertainers who found a way to seamlessly weave enlightening social statements into his performance. There are plenty of people who make a statement with their craft, but Carlin was one of the few who would have his audience eating out of his hand while he did it.

    Another guy I really loved was Bill Hicks. I have his CD Relentless and I don't know how many times I've listened to it. He has this one absolutely hilarious bit about how the Senate was so transfixed on Clarence Thomas's comments about porn films he made to Anita Hill:

  19. Gwedd

    Gwedd Supporter Supporter

    #11 Jersey

    Yeah, Rodney never got any respect..... :cool:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page