Every helmet, rated

[OldEnglandPatriot]

Inspired by the 'top ten helmets' thread, and as a leading expert in aesthetics, here's my take on all 32 NFL helmets:

Arizona: Clean and clear. 7/10
Atlanta: Nice bird, too dark overall. 5/10
Baltimore: Also dark, has a certain something. 6/10
Buffalo: Dynamic reworking of old silhouette. 9/10
Carolina: Created in a coffee-break? 4/10
Chicago: Dull. 4/10
Cincinnati: Different, vibrant, a love-or-hate design. 6/10
Cleveland: Minimalist. Spoiled by thick white stripe. 2/10
Dallas: Uninspired but iconic. 6/10
Denver: Abysmal. Should be logo of a metal band called 'Stallion'. 0/10
Detroit: Finger-paint pic in effete powder blue. 4/10
Green Bay: Lame, but rescued by unusual colours for NFL. 6/10
Houston: Neat and clever design lost on the background colour. 6/10
Indianpolis: Pleasing old-school charm. 7/10
Jacksonville: See Carolina. 4/10
Kansas City: Letters are lame. 4/10
Miami: Sunny and charming. Needs teeth. 7/10
Minnesota: Great colours, simple and appropriate design. 8/10
New England: Smart, good colours. A little too 'corporate'? 7/10
New Orleans: Too stately and static. 4/10
NY Giants: ZZZzzzz. 3/10
NY Jets: Elegant. A design classic. 9/10
Oakland: Over-rated piece of kitsch. 5/10
Philadelphia: Wings too close to temples. 5/10
Pittsburgh: Odd but effective. 7/10
Rams: Classic; a little obvious though? Was better with bolder colours. 6/10
San Diego: Vibrant, conveys energy and threat. 8/10
San Francisco: More lame letters sved by good colour scheme. 6/10
Seattle: Wonderful design, hampered by sludgy helmet colour. 8/10
Tampa Bay: Replaced the elegant pirate with this? A skull and crossbones?? Such creativity. 1/10
Tennessee: Oil-rig was great, new design has great colours and an indefinable magic. 10/10
Washington: Straightforward, but still a classic. 8/10

So my top five are 1. Titans 2. Bills 3. Jets 4. Seahawks 5. Chargers

PS Apologies for my spelling of 'colour'.

 

[patchick]

Titans #1?? That flaming T always looked like a basketball or hockey logo to me.

 

[italian pat patriot]

what about the B E A U T I F U L Pat Patriot ?

where do you put him ?

imho is the B E S T

 

[OldEnglandPatriot]

ItalianPat, I would go back to Pat Patriot and the old uniform like a shot, if it were up to me. But my incontrovertible rankings were only applied to the current 32 NFL helmets.

Now, with my 100th post up, I most return to my duties as a Senior Professor of Aesthetics and rank the leading ten soda can designs.

 

[milwaukeebeers44]

Titans #1?? That flaming T always looked like a basketball or hockey logo to me.

Not to mention, those colors make me cringe. What self-respecting man would wear not one, but TWO shades of baby blue??

 

[OldEnglandPatriot]

Not to mention, those colors make me cringe. What self-respecting man would wear not one, but TWO shades of baby blue??

The Tennessee Titans helmet and uniform that I am familiar with features a dark blue colour and a light colour I would consider 'sky blue'.

 

[zippo59]

Interestingly enough 3 of your top 5 rank near the bottom of the helmets I like. I think the Bills, Jets, and Titans are all contrived or just plain ugly.

 

[Handel]

PS Apologies for my spelling of 'colour'.

Where is the problem? «Colour» isn't an error.

 

[BruschiOnTap]

No love for the Bucs' awesome pewter color? I think they have the coolest helmet color, although their design is a touch unoriginal...

I think Denver's logo is cool but their stripe thing is dumb and they have pretty corporate looking uniforms... I think ours are corporate as well but they have a smart design to them, I think they're sharp-looking with the red piping

Jets have a nice old-school thing going, as do the Bears, Steelers, and Browns. I like old-school logos, although the old Bucs uniform needed to go... they looked like creamsicles!

 

[JoeSixPat]

Every helmet, rated .

My wife rates mine the highest.

 

[Flying Fungi]

dunno...always been a big fan of the old school designs like the Detroit fleur-de-lis, or the Cleveland uni or da Bears...and my high school helmet was the same as the Packers, so that ranks high...Pat Patriot was definitely cool...

 

[Water Boy]

Inspired by the 'top ten helmets' thread, and as a leading expert in aesthetics, here's my take on all 32 NFL helmets:

Arizona: Clean and clear. 7/10

I have to disagree. Although they made the cardinal look a little meaner I still think that thier helmets are weak and I think that logo will always be a curse to the franchise. No matter how hard they try, having a football team logo named for a cute little birdie does not inspire the idea of smashmouth football.

 

[RayClay]

Could you rate them by "tightness" please?

 

[T-ShirtDynasty]

Could you rate them by "tightness" please?

Amen! Clearly the tightness factor is a far more important aspect than the aesthetics. Cripes!

By the way, the Tennessee Flying Thumbtacks = untightness. Clearly.

 

[zippo59]

I think the Tennessee logo looks like it came from the Arena League. There's just too much going on in it. Sometimes less is more.

 

[Tyler Faith]

I would like an explaination of why you thought it was necissary to rate helmets and how points were awarded. Further, I'd like to know how you became elected the official helmet critic.

LOL

 

[Bostonian1962]

I would like an explaination of why you thought it was necissary to rate helmets and how points were awarded. Further, I'd like to know how you became elected the official helmet critic.

LOL

Yeah, what she said. This is serious business, and we must make sure of your credentials. Pretty good list, but you're a hard marker.

 

[richpats]

One thing that can really kill a good helmet design is the monochrome helmet/facemask combo. If there aren't any bold colors on the helmet or stripes (see Jags, Texans, Cards) then it's rather plain.

We had that for one year in 93 when we switched to silver and it was bad- in 94 we switch to red facemasks and it looks fantastic. Also notice how our silver has gotten "shinier" over the years, another plus.

Overall, I'm glad that our home uniforms employ more silver than white since it contrasts well with the blue.

 

[italian pat patriot]

so that ranks high...Pat Patriot was definitely cool...

i agree. Pat Patriot # 1

 

[richpats]

i agree. Pat Patriot # 1

Pat Patriot was good for its time, the current logo is more new-school, I think both are great in their own ways. I would like to see them break out the old-school red uni's every Thanksgiving weekend, but no more than once a season.