Tom Brady is a winner. While Peyton Manning wakes up and pisses orange juice in a rusty can, Tom pisses greatness in a golden toilet bowl. If you look at the stats, not only Super Bowl wins and touchdown records, but head to head match-ups, Tom owns Peyton every day of the week.
Let’s start with Super Bowl wins Source 1); Sure, Peyton has one. Tom had one too.. back in 2001. Now he has three. Tom actually has as many as the entire Manning family. Where Tom has the heroics of the entire Spartan legion that battled at Thermopoly when playoff time comes, Peyton approaches them more like Vanilla Ice approaches making records; He has one hit then fails a bunch and finally retires to doing reality television.
How about records? Source 2) Peyton sure has a lot of them. But where it matters, in playoffs wins, Tom once again makes him look like a blind monkey drunk on vodka. Manning is a sad 9-11 while Tom kicks his ass with a 17-7 record.
What about when the two QB’s go head to head? Source 3) Tom spanks Peyton like a cheap hooker just about every time. The record of 10-4 that Tom holds over Peyton sounds more like the score of a football game. One which Peyton Manning would lose. To Tom Brady.
Also, Tom Brady leads him in basic quality of life. Tom’s wife is hot. Peyton's wife is never in any pictures so you just kind of have to assume it is really Elway in drag. Peyton only wishes he could be Tom but he can't. Every now and then, he sits awake at night and wonders what it would like to be a winner like Tom. Sometimes he puts on a Brady jersey and dances around, imagining what it would be like to be as great as Tom. Then he cries himself to sleep. But not before he Abuses homeless children while Tom Brady rides bikes for disabled kids.
In the end, Tom Brady owns Peyton Manning in every single part of life, including handsomeness. It is well known that one single look from Brady can cure a child of cancer or scare a nazi so bad he would punch himself in the face. What is not widely known is he also once stopped an entire fleet of alien invaders by winking at them, making them realize there was no way they could take the Earth while Tom still walked it and making them pee themselves, turn face, and leave the galaxy never to return.
In all seriousness, Tom kind of reminds me of Michael Bean's role in Terminator 1. Except Michael Bean was running from the Terminator. Tom Brady would have intentionally grounded his face until he ran kicking and screaming back to the future where Tom would be waiting for him to punch him some more, for America! One day, Tom will run for president and when he is elected fix the entire world.
To sum up, Peyton Manning is a drunk hobo and Tom Brady the greatest thing since bread was partitioned.
Edit: added the link to the bet
Edit 2: Added more words to satisfy the word count of the bet.
