Deflate-gate fantasies

[lurker1965]

Mine is on the podium for Super Bowl 50. Goodell, Kraft, Belichick, Brady, and some guy are on it. Goodell, in front of a live mike, congratulates Kraft, Belichick and "Tom."
Then asks, "Who are you?"
The guy hands him an envelope.
"What's this?" asks Goodell.
"A subpoena," says the legally disinterested party as he walks away.

 

[Rob0729]

My Deflategate fantasy involved Scarlett Johanssen, a bottle of olive oil, and cannot be discussed on a family friendly site like this. In fact, all of my fantasies involved Scarlett Johanssen, a bottle of olive oil, and cannot be discussed on a family friendly site like this.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Faulty parallelism. GodDAMMIT I thought I fixed that on the "could of or could have" thread for all time

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Lurker, the Book of Esther is pretty much what you want in the present Goodell situation. Has to lead Bill Belichick around the field on a big horse shouting his praises, that sort of thing.

Then they hang him. Well, we don't want to go full Esther on him. But maybe they replace him and send him back to the JEST gofer staff.

 

[Tunescribe]

Bob Kraft apologizes profusely to the entire fan base, reimburses all season ticket holders for the 2015 season.

 

[YOUGOTMOSSED]

Goodell committing Japanese ritual suicide to start off the home opener.

 

[VectorPrime]

Anyone who read any of my posts between February 2 and May 5th knows what my deflategate fantasy was.

 

[nabwong]

Anyone who read any of my posts between February 2 and May 5th knows what my deflategate fantasy was.

All 2 of them? Share it with the rest of us?

 

[PatsFanInVa]

Goodell committing Japanese ritual suicide to start off the home opener.

I'm thinking Monday Night Rehabilitation

 

[VectorPrime]

All 2 of them? Share it with the rest of us?

Hmm where do I start?

"Tells Wells is an independent investigator who will not risk his prestigious firms reputation by being biased for the NFL. In fact I bet that the NFL didn't even originally want to bring him in as the first reports from Mike Kensil were that the 'investigation' was going to be done in a few days. I bet Kraft demanded that the NFL get someone credible to investigate this. It's clear from his press conference in Arizona that he is not going to take this lying down and is going to demand that the team be rightly cleared.

Now, considering all the new info that came out the week before the Super Bowl and in the weeks afterwards we now know that the Patriots and Brady are innocent. The Mort Report numbers were wrong and Florio's were right as the fit squarely within the range of the ideal gas law. Surely Wells is investigating the misconduct by the league and the Colts. What likely happened was that the Colts measured the balls, possibly in a sting, saw that they were underinflated and assumed that the Pats must be cheating because they didn't know about the ideal gas law. Mike Kensil is probably the mastermind behind it. Considering its been weeks now the investigation is surely on the league and Kensil. They have no evidence of any wrong doing by the Pats and in fact have tons of evidence that show the insidious nature of the slanderous accusations leveled against the team by those within the league.

I am betting that not only are the Patriots most surely exonerated, but that Mike Kensil is officially reprimanded. All this talk about the Pats being fined for "improper equipment handling" is stupid, there won't be a fine. If something as ridiculous as a fine happened, like 25k as some people think, then the Pats better fight it because dumbasses would assume that they found us guilty. But I doubt that even happens because the science explains everything and logic will prevail. That would be a worst case scenario for me that we get fined on some technicality. But no way it happens."

Yeah those were the days.

 

[PlainOldEd]

I actually do have one of these.... It involves me being selected to announce the Pats draft pick and having the opportunity to say something calling out the integrity of the nfl on national live tv.

Of course they'd kill it with the delay they build in.

 

[PatsFanInVa]

I actually do have one of these.... It involves me being selected to announce the Pats draft pick and having the opportunity to say something calling out the integrity of the nfl on national live tv.

Of course they'd kill it with the delay they build in.

"With the first pick not sacrificed to the willful collusion of this league's owners, the New England Patriots select..."

 

[lurker1965]

Semi off topic. FIDE is the international chess federation. (Federation Internationale Des Eschecs - it is French.) Just saying that even a corrupt french organization gets it right.

 

[RayClay]

With their pick in the

The Patriots have announced a trade of the second round pick for five 7th round picks, with which we are going to draft a bunch of guys we're going to beat you over the head with, just like we did with co-Super bowl MVPs Malcolm Butler and Darryl Roberts.

 

[Wax Frog]

God-ell gets a (traumatic) Gronking to remember. Peace, out! ;-)

 

[Wax Frog]

View attachment 9699
Semi off topic. FIDE is the international chess federation. (Federation Internationale Des Eschecs - it is French.) Just saying that even a corrupt french organization gets it right.

Nerd!!!! NERD!!!!!