This was obviously written by the other side, but I have to admit it is funny... 6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony. 6:05 p.m. - Opening prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton 6:30 p.m. - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand. 6:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to France. 7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund. 7:25 p.m. - Tribute theme to Germany. 7:45 p.m. - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore) 8:25 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 8:30 p.m. - Terrorist appeasement workshop. 9:00 p.m. - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples) 9:30.p.m. - * Intermission * 10:00.p.m. - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins 10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss. 10:20.p.m. - Cameo by Dean 'Yeeearrrrrrrg!' 10:30 p.m. - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L. 10:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to the UN. 11:00 p.m. - Multiple gay marriage ceremony (threesomes, mixed and same sex). Rep. Barney Frank (D,Mass.), Sponsor 11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Welfare workshop. 11:30 p.m. - 'Free Saddam' pep rally led by Jane Fonda. 11:59 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast. 12:00 a.m. - Nomination of democratic candidate. Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home from the convention?