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Chinese Wedding Night

Discussion in 'The PatsFans.com Pub' started by Real World, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    :D


    Chinese Wedding Night

    A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.

    My darring" he says, "I know dis yoo firss time and you berry fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss ask anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

    A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan try someping I have hear about ... Numbaa 69."

    More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries.. "You wan... Chicken wiff Broccori?"
  2. chris_in_sunnyvale

    chris_in_sunnyvale Rookie

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    She replies, "No...Cream of Sum Yung Gai!"

    Regards,
    Chris
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  3. Lifer

    Lifer Banned

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    Racist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He's a RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  4. Terry Glenn is a cowgirl

    Terry Glenn is a cowgirl Banned

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    Is he related to Rev. Moon????
  5. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Speaking of Rev. Moon, where is our favorite universalist church member??
  6. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I think it is somewhat racist, but I can't decide whether the stereotype (can't say "r"s) is truly offensive. Maybe FogBuster, who seems to know a lot of Asian culture, will offer his two cents.
  7. FreeTedWilliams

    FreeTedWilliams pfadmins PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #75 Jersey

    In defense of the the Chinese...

    There are no plurals or verb conjugations in the Chinese language. That is the main reason that their English sounds a little off..


    And now for my off-color Chinese joke..


    What do you call a fat Chinaman?

    A Chunk!
  8. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    Racist? :eek: This was a stupid email joke that someone sent me. How is something like this racist? It's a joke no different than the scene from A Christmas Story where the family goes to the chinese restaurant after their Xmas dinner gets ruined.

    Tis da season to be jorry, ra-ra-ra-ra-ra...ra-ra-ra-ra :D

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=E2Y5jZzgW7M

    :yeahthat: Too funny.
  9. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    Remember his dad passed away, and he (Fog) lives in the Ukraine (or was it Lithuania?), so I'm guessing he went home for the services and stuff.
  10. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Okay, RW, after watching that youtube video, you win. Very funny.
  11. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    :woohoo: You're the best!
  12. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Go get somebody, sit them down then read this out loud to them, if you can't find anybody read it out loud to yourself, right now.

    The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia.

    Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
    Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
    RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
    G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
    RS: "Ow July den?"
    G: "What??"
    RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
    G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
    RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
    G: "Crisp will be fine."
    RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
    G: "What?"
    RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
    G: "I don't think so"
    RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
    G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
    'judo one toes 'means."
    RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
    G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
    RS: "We bother?"
    G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
    RS: "Wad?"
    G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
    RS: "Copy?"
    G: "Sorry?"
    RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
    G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
    RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
    G: "Whatever you say"
    RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
    G: "You're welcome"
  13. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

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    You guys are racists, no doubt.

    Nobody talks like that, you're using old racist stereotypes and think they're funny, which they're not.

    As an example, try making a similar joke about Blacks or Jews. You losers probably make monkey noises among your friends when imitating Blacks, or make deragatory comments about Jews in private forums. You two are as stupid as Rosie O'Donnell for her 'ching chong' jokes from a few months ago.

    That Youtube video is also really racist and pretty ridiculous. Your silly video example is like bringing up 'Breakfast at Tiffanys' and trying to deny that the Mickey Rooney character wasn't offensive and racist.

    Thank you RealWorld and Harry, for confirming that in addition to being idiot neocons, that you are also racists. I guess I shouldn't be surprised; your political and racist worldviews are the products of low levels of intelligence bordering on retardation.

    .
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  14. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    What the fluck you talk about :confused:
  15. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    Okay, so like I was saying....:rolleyes:
  16. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

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    You guys are also pea brained to mix up your racist fake Asian accents. Did you know that Koreans, Japanese, and Chinese all have different English accents? Do you even know the difference between these people? Clearly not, they are probably all 'gooks' to you.

    Rednecks like you two are pathetic. I bet your great-grandparents used to hang Blacks in trees and laugh about it.

    .
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  17. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    No offense bud, but...

    [​IMG]
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  18. Danny Boy®

    Danny Boy® Banned

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    Interesting thread....be careful people.:confused:
  19. Real World

    Real World Moderator Staff Member

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    I guess making fun of accents is racist. So when Wistah types stuff like "fahcrisesakes" I'm sure you get upset. :rolleyes:

    Two words: Mental Midget. ;)


    Redneck's eh? So what were you saying about being racist again?

    Actually, my great-grandparents were in Italy. As were my grandparents, and my own parents until they came here in late 50's & early 60's. ;)

    Matter of fact, it is both my experience with broken english, and my personal butchery of Italian, that makes accents so funny to me.
  20. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

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    My family used to live in Maine, there wern't any Black People up here then, I seem to remember my Grandmother telling me once when she was a young girl she remembers her father shooting a Methodist who was stealing his chickens.

    Do know that back just before WWII there was a store over in the North End of Boston that sold "Italian Wood Stoves" you could only use them once, they were made out of wood.

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