Welcome to PatsFans.com

Chinese Wedding Night

Discussion in 'The PatsFans.com Pub' started by Real World, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    :D


    Chinese Wedding Night

    A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.

    My darring" he says, "I know dis yoo firss time and you berry fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss ask anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

    A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan try someping I have hear about ... Numbaa 69."

    More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries.. "You wan... Chicken wiff Broccori?"
  2. chris_in_sunnyvale

    chris_in_sunnyvale Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2005
    Messages:
    2,091
    Likes Received:
    8
    Ratings:
    +8 / 0 / -0

    She replies, "No...Cream of Sum Yung Gai!"

    Regards,
    Chris
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2007
  3. Lifer

    Lifer Banned

    Joined:
    May 10, 2007
    Messages:
    3,293
    Likes Received:
    26
    Ratings:
    +26 / 0 / -0

    Racist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He's a RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  4. Terry Glenn is a cowgirl

    Terry Glenn is a cowgirl Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2005
    Messages:
    7,883
    Likes Received:
    4
    Ratings:
    +4 / 0 / -0

    Is he related to Rev. Moon????
  5. DarrylS

    DarrylS PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    40,315
    Likes Received:
    19
    Ratings:
    +19 / 0 / -0


    Speaking of Rev. Moon, where is our favorite universalist church member??
  6. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    17,253
    Likes Received:
    21
    Ratings:
    +23 / 0 / -0

    I think it is somewhat racist, but I can't decide whether the stereotype (can't say "r"s) is truly offensive. Maybe FogBuster, who seems to know a lot of Asian culture, will offer his two cents.
  7. FreeTedWilliams

    FreeTedWilliams Moderator PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2005
    Messages:
    5,171
    Likes Received:
    5
    Ratings:
    +5 / 0 / -0

    In defense of the the Chinese...

    There are no plurals or verb conjugations in the Chinese language. That is the main reason that their English sounds a little off..


    And now for my off-color Chinese joke..


    What do you call a fat Chinaman?

    A Chunk!
  8. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    Racist? :eek: This was a stupid email joke that someone sent me. How is something like this racist? It's a joke no different than the scene from A Christmas Story where the family goes to the chinese restaurant after their Xmas dinner gets ruined.

    Tis da season to be jorry, ra-ra-ra-ra-ra...ra-ra-ra-ra :D

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=E2Y5jZzgW7M

    :yeahthat: Too funny.
  9. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    Remember his dad passed away, and he (Fog) lives in the Ukraine (or was it Lithuania?), so I'm guessing he went home for the services and stuff.
  10. Patters

    Patters Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2004
    Messages:
    17,253
    Likes Received:
    21
    Ratings:
    +23 / 0 / -0

    Okay, RW, after watching that youtube video, you win. Very funny.
  11. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    :woohoo: You're the best!
  12. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    37,502
    Likes Received:
    24
    Ratings:
    +29 / 0 / -5

    Go get somebody, sit them down then read this out loud to them, if you can't find anybody read it out loud to yourself, right now.

    The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia.

    Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
    Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"
    RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
    G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
    RS: "Ow July den?"
    G: "What??"
    RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?"
    G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
    RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
    G: "Crisp will be fine."
    RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
    G: "What?"
    RS:"San tos. July San tos?"
    G: "I don't think so"
    RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
    G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what
    'judo one toes 'means."
    RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
    G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
    RS: "We bother?"
    G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
    RS: "Wad?"
    G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
    RS: "Copy?"
    G: "Sorry?"
    RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
    G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
    RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
    G: "Whatever you say"
    RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
    G: "You're welcome"
  13. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Messages:
    7,669
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16 / 0 / -0

    You guys are racists, no doubt.

    Nobody talks like that, you're using old racist stereotypes and think they're funny, which they're not.

    As an example, try making a similar joke about Blacks or Jews. You losers probably make monkey noises among your friends when imitating Blacks, or make deragatory comments about Jews in private forums. You two are as stupid as Rosie O'Donnell for her 'ching chong' jokes from a few months ago.

    That Youtube video is also really racist and pretty ridiculous. Your silly video example is like bringing up 'Breakfast at Tiffanys' and trying to deny that the Mickey Rooney character wasn't offensive and racist.

    Thank you RealWorld and Harry, for confirming that in addition to being idiot neocons, that you are also racists. I guess I shouldn't be surprised; your political and racist worldviews are the products of low levels of intelligence bordering on retardation.

    .
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  14. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    37,502
    Likes Received:
    24
    Ratings:
    +29 / 0 / -5

    What the fluck you talk about :confused:
  15. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    Okay, so like I was saying....:rolleyes:
  16. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Messages:
    7,669
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16 / 0 / -0

    You guys are also pea brained to mix up your racist fake Asian accents. Did you know that Koreans, Japanese, and Chinese all have different English accents? Do you even know the difference between these people? Clearly not, they are probably all 'gooks' to you.

    Rednecks like you two are pathetic. I bet your great-grandparents used to hang Blacks in trees and laugh about it.

    .
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  17. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    No offense bud, but...

    [​IMG]
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  18. Danny Boy®

    Danny Boy® Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2006
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0

    Interesting thread....be careful people.:confused:
  19. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    I guess making fun of accents is racist. So when Wistah types stuff like "fahcrisesakes" I'm sure you get upset. :rolleyes:

    Two words: Mental Midget. ;)


    Redneck's eh? So what were you saying about being racist again?

    Actually, my great-grandparents were in Italy. As were my grandparents, and my own parents until they came here in late 50's & early 60's. ;)

    Matter of fact, it is both my experience with broken english, and my personal butchery of Italian, that makes accents so funny to me.
  20. Harry Boy

    Harry Boy Look Up, It's Amazing PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2005
    Messages:
    37,502
    Likes Received:
    24
    Ratings:
    +29 / 0 / -5

    My family used to live in Maine, there wern't any Black People up here then, I seem to remember my Grandmother telling me once when she was a young girl she remembers her father shooting a Methodist who was stealing his chickens.

    Do know that back just before WWII there was a store over in the North End of Boston that sold "Italian Wood Stoves" you could only use them once, they were made out of wood.
  21. reflexblue

    reflexblue PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2006
    Messages:
    17,226
    Likes Received:
    11
    Ratings:
    +12 / 0 / -0

    Anyways,getting back to the subject at hand a priest,a lawyer,and a rabbi get on a plane with a group of boy........I can't go any farther I'd be banned for life,but it can't be construed as raceist,and it's a REALY funny joke. :D
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  22. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    I don't think you want to step down this street. :D

    I guess I should get upset when someone says faghettaboutit, or when the Sopranos is on and they talk in that Italian gangsta english. That's racist afterall. :rolleyes:
  23. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Messages:
    7,669
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16 / 0 / -0

    Dude you are a racist.
    Your first post in this ridiculous thread pokes fun not just at accents but at old stereotypes, and the punchline references Chinese restaurants.

    Think about why you thought it was okay to post this, yet why you wouldn't post a similarly offensive joke about Jewish or Black people. It is just as bad, just as racist, but for some reason you only felt brave enough to share your closet racism by laughing over some offensive Asian jokes.

    It's funny that you call me the mental midget, when it's clear to everyone here that you are operating on a lower brain level than most. It's a wonder people like you still exist and are able to survive in today's intelligence-driven society.

    .
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  24. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Messages:
    7,669
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16 / 0 / -0

    It's not even close to the same thing you moron.
    A more comparable example is a douchebag like you making monkey noises to imitate Black people in a joke, and finding it hilarious.

    .
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  25. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    [​IMG]
  26. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    :rofl: You're a trip!
  27. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    You really need to get a life. It's called a SENSE OF HUMOR. Obviously, you don't have one. Posting a joke about ra, instead of la, is not racist. You really need to get a clue.

    Man the PC police have too much free time these days.

    Now, any second PAtters is going to step in and close this thread. He's going to close it and probably say how much he agrees with you, but none the less, this thread is getting personal, and personal attacks are prohibited!

    You better get your jabs in now Mav before it's too late! :D
  28. Real World

    Real World Rookie

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    26,287
    Likes Received:
    23
    Ratings:
    +25 / 0 / -1

    Of course it's not the same because it's about Italians and what, Italians are? How about it doesn't fit because it's just as stupid as the arguement you're making. Nah. :p

    Again, I'm stupid I know, and it's a miracle I ever made it through college, but I don't remember anyone mentioning black people in this thread, except for you.
  29. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Messages:
    7,669
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16 / 0 / -0

    Again, you show more of your ignorance. the 'ra' 'la' thing is JAPANESE, but a complete moron like you doesn't know the difference between Asian people.

    It's not about having a sense of humor. You probably laugh at Black jokes involving monkey noises and Jewish small penis jokes, and wonder why no one else has a sense of humor. There is no point trying to explain the difference to you, you simply don't get it, you're too STUPID to understand the difference even with examples I've given you.


    Thank you for revealing this part of you, it really helps me understand how you can be such a simpleton in all of your other older posts here involving politics. I now realize I have been talking to someone with the mental capacity of a caveman.

    .
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2007
  30. maverick4

    maverick4 Banned

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Messages:
    7,669
    Likes Received:
    16
    Ratings:
    +16 / 0 / -0

    These are HILARIOUS, just your kind of humor right? I see what you mean, just have a SENSE OF HUMOR about it.
    --

    Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid?
    A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?
    --

    Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business?
    A. Usually through the skylight.

    --
    A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men saying the following:

    "Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they comma together. I comma again. Two asses, they comma together again. I comma once again and pee twice. Denna I comma once-a more."

    "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

    "Hey, coola downa lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friena here howa to spella Mississippi".

Share This Page