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Discussion in 'Visiting Locker Room' started by JustTheFacts, Nov 19, 2007.

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  1. JustTheFacts

    JustTheFacts Rookie

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    Many fans of the NFL, and the Indianapolis Colts in particular, have posed the question during the 2007 campaign “What’s the deal with Adam Vinatieri?” In a stunning revelation from commissioner Roger Goodell today, we now have the answer. “It has been discovered that the New England Patriots reached an agreement with Adam prior to the start of the 2007 season”, Goodell stated. The details of this agreement are, at the time of this article, not fully known. Reportedly the deal includes a base payment of 10 million dollars, plus incentives for kicks missed for the Indianapolis Colts. Incentive bonuses escalate with the obviousness of the intentionally “blown” kick. Investigation into the alleged contract began after a Vinatieri miss during the Week 10 game versus the San Diego Chargers. After a miss from 29 yards in the final minutes of regulation, it was revealed by several Colts players that AV (as he is known in the locker room) could be heard muttering “Ka-Ching!” Further digging has also revealed that Vinatieri agreed to wear a camera mounted in his helmet, recording players and coaches meetings. When asked for comment Goodell responded, “We have reviewed the tapes, and it is unclear that any advantage was gained during the actual game.”

    “This type of blatant corruption of the NFL rules and regulations regarding tampering, salary cap and general politeness, will not be tolerated”, Goodell was quoted. Bill Belichick will be fined 500,000 dollars, and 15 beli-hoodies, according to league sources. Tom Brady will be fined 1 stroke per handicap hole at next years Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Those close to Goodell have said that the commissioner plans to come down hard on the Patriot organization as well. “Crazy stuff here this week!” one official was quoted, “As of right now, the Patriots will be allowed to continue to use their flying Elvis logo, but beginning in week 12 he’ll have a cigarette dangling from his mouth, and a bottle of colt 45 in an outstretched and liver spotted hand.” The Patriots will also be required to change their name to the New England Cheatriots.

    When reached for comment, Bill Belichick stated “It is what it is.”

    The Patri…err Cheatriots, are now favored by 65 during the week 12 match up against the Philadelphia Eagles.
  2. NYPatsFan

    NYPatsFan Rookie

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    Not bad but you should have put the word "satire" in the title.
  3. bobmal99

    bobmal99 Rookie

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    I saw this on the Colts board a few days ago.

    You should at least give credit if you were not
    the original poster of this article.

    Is pretty funny though..


  4. JustTheFacts

    JustTheFacts Rookie

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    I was the original poster, and the author.:cool:
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