Anti-violence group firm: Bench Randy

[FrontSeven]

This pressure is premature. Accusations are only accusations unless there is a lot more circumstantial evidence to point to something more concrete.

They are not helping abuse victims by doing this.

 

[IcyPatriot]

I had to help my daughter get a restraining order against a boyfriend 4 years ago ... so I am sympathetic to the issue.

These people are using a questionable finger issue to furthur their cause is a joke to all abused women out there ... what a joke. Even the worst offender is allowed to work and live their life ... just no contact and this is a stupid who knows what finger injury ... I'm going to blast them.

[email protected] Jane Doe Inc.

[email protected].

 

[Wildo7]

This pressure is premature. Accusations are only accusations unless there is a lot more circumstantial evidence to point to something more concrete.

They are not helping abuse victims by doing this.

I think Randy is innocent and I don't agree with this group. However, it bothers me that there is a serious blame the victim culture in this country. How often do you hear people say about battered women that "why didn't she just leave him?" or "how stupid can you be keeping yourself in that situation?" people don't understand how abusive relationships work.

What you really have to be wary of is the disincentive for women to come forward or do anything to protect themselves by this reaction especially if the man is famous. I think people also lack perspective. Men get screwed ovver by this in situations such as these and women have taken advantage of it in unfair ways, but the numbers of incidents where women are genuinely battered and don't report it are far far more.

 

[Wildo7]

I had to help my daughter get a restraining order against a boyfriend 4 years ago ... so I am sympathetic to the issue.

These people are using a questionable finger issue to furthur their cause is a joke to all abused women out there ... what a joke. Even the worst offender is allowed to work and live their life ... just no contact and this is a stupid who knows what finger injury ... I'm going to blast them.

[email protected] Jane Doe Inc.

[email protected].

I agree. What I don't like is using isolated cases such as these and applying them to all women, creating the perception that when a woman comes forward with allegations she is usually lying.

 

[pats-blue]

If you lie in court it's also just as dangerous for her. It's really unfair to make this an indictment of all women. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of men out there who have filed frivalous lawsuits. The difference is, men DO beat their wives and men are stronger than women. If they weren't then you'd probably see just as many men like the one who Elizabeth Taylor married.

Yeah would be, BUT she tried to avoid court according to Moss' agent and TWO other lawyers her lawyer talked to at seperate times. What she wrote on the Restraining Order would be very hard to prove is a "lie" since it is so vague.

The police are not going to take a report on just that statement she wrote in the restraining order. The would ask her specific questions and if she lied then she would have charges filed on her. If it goes to court (and I think she will need a new lawyer since I beleive hers may end up being disbarred) oh wait it CAN't because she NEVER filed a police report. I am sorry but that is BS. LIke otheres said, You don't contact attorneys before filing a police report or wait 8 days to fie a restraining order if you are in fear. Money will not make you less "fearfull" of someone.

The calls are easily traceable and I think it is beyond doubt that the calls occurred. What was said or who said what first is irrelevant. What is relevant is the timeline. Sorry I investigate things for a living and while I would like to know what the "horseplay" was there was NO VISIBLE INJURY caused. The hospital found NOTHING. Sorry it doesn't make any sense for a victim of a crime to act like that. If she was a victim of DV she might not file for the Order right away, that happens, but you don't have your lawyer talk for days about MONEY if you re in fear, that is a shakedown. Heck even her lawyer says they were talking about money, he just says they mentioned it first! Who the hell cares? That is BS my friends period.

I have investigated thousands of DV cases and I am well aware that men cause more PHYSICAL injuries to women, BUT you would be surprised the number of women that are the aggessors in a DV case. Not equal to men at all but more than you think. By the way I CANNOT STAND men that beat up or degrade women at all it is one of my pet peeves along with pedophiles.

 

[363839]

Yeah really good point, I mean woman just have too much power

Try a divorce lately.

 

[Wildo7]

Yeah would be, BUT she tried to avoid court according to Moss' agent and TWO other lawyers her lawyer talked to at seperate times. What she wrote on the Restraining Order would be very hard to prove is a "lie" since it is so vague.

The police are not going to take a report on just that statement she wrote in the restraining order. The would ask her specific questions and if she lied then she would have charges filed on her. If it goes to court (and I think she will need a new lawyer since I beleive hers may end up being disbarred) oh wait it CAN't because she NEVER filed a police report. I am sorry but that is BS. LIke otheres said, You don't contact attorneys before filing a police report or wait 8 days to fie a restraining order if you are in fear. Money will not make you less "fearfull" of someone.

The calls are easily traceable and I think it is beyond doubt that the calls occurred. What was said or who said what first is irrelevant. What is relevant is the timeline. Sorry I investigate things for a living and while I would like to know what the "horseplay" was there was NO VISIBLE INJURY caused. The hospital found NOTHING. Sorry it doesn't make any sense for a victim of a crime to act like that. If she was a victim of DV she might not file for the Order right away, that happens, but you don't have your lawyer talk for days about MONEY if you re in fear, that is a shakedown. Heck even her lawyer says they were talking about money, he just says they mentioned it first! Who the hell cares? That is BS my friends period.

I have investigated thousands of DV cases and I am well aware that men cause more PHYSICAL injuries to women, BUT you would be surprised the number of women that are the aggessors in a DV case. Not equal to men at all but more than you think. By the way I CANNOT STAND men that beat up or degrade women at all it is one of my pet peeves along with pedophiles.

I totally agree with you, and I also think that it's unfair that women tend to be forgiven for violence against men because men are generally stronger and are expected to be able to defend themselves. In my mind, there is something worse about the strong picking on the weak, but women should be held accountable for their actions against men and in our culture there's far to it much leeway when it comes to women being violent against men (it's still acceptable in movies for women to slap men for saying something rude for example). But what I meant was the number of women who abuse the public sympathy for women who are battered by falsely accusing men is small relative to the number of women who are actually battered and say nothing for fear that people will doubt their credibility.

 

[Wildo7]

Try a divorce lately.

Ok, what's your point, the spouse gets half? That applies to men too, but the difference is that in our society the women traditionally raise the children while the men go make the money. If we had more women making the same amount of money as men then this wouldn't be a problem. Are there cases in which men get an unfair shake in divorce proceedings? of course. But Women also still have to deal with a looming glass ceiling and society's expectation that they stay home with the children and if they pursue a career they are a bad mother. Just look at Goodyear v. Ledbetter, women getting screwed in the working world is not a thing of the past.

 

[BigHoss67]

I agree. What I don't like is using isolated cases such as these and applying them to all women, creating the perception that when a woman comes forward with allegations she is usually lying.

Who is doing that here?

 

[Wildo7]

Who is doing that here?

I didn't say anyone was. But I was referring to some who say "this reflects badly on women."

 

[fair catch fryar]

Seriously? Who really cares what these ladies say as they use their respective organizations' as a pulpit to wage a personal vendetta on any male that is 'accused' of hitting a woman. If they were really legit' and wanted to promote awareness and equality for their cause then they would have been smarter to let the whole proceedings play out. The act of jumping to conclusions and making assumptions about this whole thing is ridiculous.

 

[pats-blue]

I totally agree with you, and I also think that it's unfair that women tend to be forgiven for violence against men because men are generally stronger and are expected to be able to defend themselves. In my mind, there is something worse about the strong picking on the weak, but women should be held accountable for their actions against men and in our culture there's far to it much leeway when it comes to women being violent against men (it's still acceptable in movies for women to slap men for saying something rude for example). But what I meant was the number of women who abuse the public sympathy for women who are battered by falsely accusing men is small relative to the number of women who are actually battered and say nothing for fear that people will doubt their credibility.

No doubt about the numbers that don't seek help compared to those that do what this women is doing is vastly different. I think the point is though that people are saying that this women is HURTING tose type of women and I agree. Women that don't report DO make excuses that many times are just that excuses. But they are doing it for REAL reasons to them. The damge they have suffered (mainly mental at that point...very little physical DV occures without quite a bit of mental abuse before hand setting the stage for the cycle of violence) allows them to justify why they will not help themselves. This group attaching themselves to this golddigger is EXACTLY what they should NOT be doing. NOw those that are on that fine line of reporting see how this women (rightfully so IMO) is going to get crucified and they wll have one more reasont to avoid reporting it.

BUt then again this women is only after $$$ and could care less IMO who she hurts in the long run.

I have seen many instances of DV groups with no awareness when it comes to how to get publicity in the proper manner for women. I say that as a police officer not a man. I see the results and I really think, WTF were they thinking? They thought that would help these women? This is one of those times

 

[Tommysgirl]

I gotta say, I'm a little disappointed. Where's Rev Al and Jesse?

 

[BigHoss67]

I didn't say anyone was. But I was referring to some who say "this reflects badly on women."

Well, it does... Domestic violence is a major, major issue in America... But if women keep "crying wolf" in this type of widely known forum of public opinion... Then what you're afraid of is unavoidable.

If the roles were reversed, I have no doubt in my mind that men would do the same kind of thing. But the point is, the roles aren't reversed... So we will never see things from that perspective as a nation.

You are 100% right that the vast majority of instances of domestic violence go unreported... But when a group that claims it is trying to help stop domestic violence does something like this, people have no choice but to judge...

After all, this group has annointed itself as a group of spokespeople for women subjected to domestic violence... It is solely their responsibility to make sure their actions do nothing to set back their supposed cause...

 

[Wildo7]

Well, it does... Domestic violence is a major, major issue in America... But if women keep "crying wolf" in this type of widely known forum of public opinion... Then what you're afraid of is unavoidable.

If the roles were reversed, I have no doubt in my mind that men would do the same kind of thing. But the point is, the roles aren't reversed... So we will never see things from that perspective as a nation.

You are 100% right that the vast majority of instances of domestic violence go unreported... But when a group that claims it is trying to help stop domestic violence does something like this, people have no choice but to judge...

After all, this group has annointed itself as a group of spokespeople for women subjected to domestic violence... It is solely their responsibility to make sure their actions do nothing to set back their supposed cause...

My point is that the perception that women do this a lot is way overblown, which is why it reflects badly on this woman and not all women. Much the same as why a rapist does not reflect badly on all men.

 

[Tommysgirl]

It might help if our legal system could adjust itself also. The amount of money awarded for frivolous and non frivolous law suits is absurd. The sad part about the half a million? It's not even something that absurd for her to be able to get.

I actually stick up for you men all the time too. The amount of money given for child support and alimony is ridiculously outrageous and awful.

 

[IcyPatriot]

Ok, what's your point, the spouse gets half? .

The woman gets 1/2 is just for starters ... they go from there.

 

[pats1yes]

My final thoughts.

It appears that this woman used her situation to make money. Well, OK. End of story. And that is what appears to be the facts, but we do not know.

That does not change the fact that abuse against women, children, and animals is a major issue in this country.

A bully is a bully. Plain and simple. Anyone that finds an excuse for these low-life scums needs to look within themselves.

I don't like people that use their strength to hurt others. I have a real major problem with animals and children because they cannot walk away. They NEED us. A woman can walk away.

So, please already. If you are a decent person, you can help. Extreme groups form because there IS a problem. But I don't like extremes on either side.

But, bottom line a bully is a bully. Man or woman. I will not tolerate either.

 

[Gumby]

??: If your case is deemed "frivolous," then you can be held liable for your opponent's court costs as well as your own. IIRC, this happened to that crazy judge in DC(?) who sued over a pair of pants.

To the best of my knowledge that in fact DID NOT happen in the DC case. The case was dismissed but the family that used to own 5 drycleaning stores now only owns 1 or 2. The one(s?) that was in his wife's name I think. The others they had to sell to pay the legal defense fees.

The idiot judge could write his own legal briefs and ruin someones life and family for spite at no cost.

You are correct that most states have the provision that a judge can hold a plaintiff liable for defendants fees. BUT THIS IS EMPLACED BY A JUDGE SO RARELY that you have a better chance of seeing snow in miami.

Tommysgirl: It might help if our legal system could adjust itself also. The amount of money awarded for frivolous and non frivolous law suits is absurd. The sad part about the half a million? It's not even something that absurd for her to be able to get.

TOO TRUE; Lawyers are killing America by the steady drip drip of bogus lawsuit after bogus lawsuit. A reform to make it mandatory for a loser-plaintiff to pay defendant fees for thrown out suits would help. Some kind of rationality on damage juries too - but I don't know how to fix that one.