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An odd time in my life

Discussion in 'The PatsFans.com Pub' started by Fencer, Nov 3, 2010.

  1. Fencer

    Fencer Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    #12 Jersey

    Both my parents died last week, 53 hours apart. That's why my response to aggressively lying idiots on the main board was to withdraw, rather than to flame them as they deserved; I didn't want to add to my stress level.

    So now of course I'm planning the breakup of their stuff (I'm the only child), writing obituaries (I'm a professional blogger, so I have a forum to write at length), and so on. That this would make me think of them was highly predictable. That this would make me think of particular conversations I would like to have with them is kind of predictable too -- they're the ones who could answer all the questions.

    But even random stuff makes me think of talking with them. E.g., my father wasn't much of a computer user, but he really liked boobs. I had the brief thought, because it could be so easily done, of sending him a link to that boob thread.

    Oops ... :(
     
  2. Patjew

    Patjew PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Wow, that is so terrible and I'm very sorry to hear it. Good luck during this very difficult time.
     
  3. Nikolai

    Nikolai Football Atheist PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #54 Jersey

    My condolences, man.

    Not much else I can say, except that I wish you the best and there's no need to explain yourself.
     
  4. Its_The_Patriots

    Its_The_Patriots Rotational Player and Threatening Starter's Job

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    #12 Jersey

    This is just really sad. I'm so sorry to here about the loss of both your parents. You will be in my thoughts and prayers through this terrible time.........
     
  5. reflexblue

    reflexblue PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #91 Jersey

    Very sorry to hear about your parents Fencer. And no need to explain
     
  6. TBradyOwnsYou

    TBradyOwnsYou 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

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    Sorry to hear that sir. This no doubt is one of the toughest times of your life and I wish you strength to make it through to the other side.
     
  7. Michael

    Michael Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #12 Jersey

    Very sorry for your loss. :(

    My father was given 6 months to live and that was the toughest news I ever got. Luckily that was over 2 years ago (doctors are not always right people) and he's still with us. Although he does have lung cancer. I know it's the order of things but, it doesn't make it any easier.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2010
  8. Tunescribe

    Tunescribe PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #61 Jersey

    Very tough. Were their passings somewhat expected?
     
  9. shirtsleeve

    shirtsleeve In the Starting Line-Up

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    My condolences as well. You will be in my thoughts. Take your time.
     
  10. Fencer

    Fencer Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    #12 Jersey

    Both were declining pretty rapidly. In the middle of 2009 they could both still go out and around and run errands and stubbornly refuse to use their canes and drive themselves to places even though they really shouldn't have and all that.

    Things got bad pretty quickly. My mother was relegated to the nursing home area last February. My father surprised people by having last three months in his apartment over the summer, albeit with lots of support, then collapsed August 29.

    But right before that he was pretty alert. We had substantive phone conversations. I sent him, which he loved, a pornographic e-card for his 86th birthday. And so on.
     
  11. Calciumee

    Calciumee PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #3 Jersey

    Thoughts are with you Fencer :(

    Hope everything goes ok :(
     
  12. Fencer

    Fencer Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    #12 Jersey

    So I'm heading out tomorrow to Columbus, OH to take care of things, and I talked today for the first time with my parents' lawyer, who I naturally will be using too. He apologized that he can't be at their Celebration of Life this Sunday, because he'll be traveling.

    Where? To Pittsburgh, for a football game.

    Which? Steelers.

    Which side will he root for? He grew up in Westford.

    I like him already. :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2010
  13. blackglass3

    blackglass3 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Just saw this thread. Very sorry for your loss. I hope you're getting on ok.
     
  14. dalero

    dalero PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Sorry for your loss. My Father passed this past Feb on my Birthday. Sucks.
     
  15. Mrs.PatsFanInVa

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    #24 Jersey

    Also very sorry. Both my mother and mother-in-law are currently in nursing homes and in ill health. No matter how much you know the day is coming there's never really any preparing for it, is there?
     
  16. Fencer

    Fencer Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    #12 Jersey

    Thanks for the kind words, guys.

    Yeah, it happens to just about everybody; only the details are different.

    Frankly, this might have been even harder if my father had died and my mother had lived. She would have been bitterly unhappy, and flipping out. She wasn't getting any significant pleasure out of life even when he was around to visit her a few hours per day ...

    (She was in the nursing home part of their facility, with significant dementia. He was in their apartment, with his dementia being pretty mild -- no false memories that I could detect, capable of having complex discussions, and so on. If she'd died months earlier, it would have been a blessing. He, however, died several years too soon.)
     
  17. CheeseMonkeys

    CheeseMonkeys 2nd Team Getting Their First Start

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    #11 Jersey

    Sorry for your loss Fencer... I know my response is a bit delayed but I hope you had a wonderful holiday and are doing alright. I wish you the best of luck down the road.:)
     

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