A Patriots Christmas carol

[ctpatsfan77]

Well, a revised one, at any rate.

To the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Stephen the Ghost Gostkowski [Gostkowski]
Had a very strong leg [strong leg]
And if you ever saw him [saw him]
You'd see how far his kicks went.

All the other NFL teams [L teams]
Used to laugh and call him names [him names]
They never signed poor Stephen [Stephen]
To play in any football games. [ball games]

Then in one tough playoff game
Coach Bill came to say,
"Stephen, with your leg so strong,
Go and win the game today!"

As the ball split the uprights [uprights]
Pats fans shouted out with glee [with glee]
Stephen the Ghost Gostkowski [Gostkowski]
You'll go down in his-to-ry! [Like Jan Stanerud!]

[Great thing about Gostkowski's nickname . . . it fits the original much better. ]

 

[Frezo]

That was great! Here's one sung to "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"

Mark the footballs Brady slings
They're the ones that lead to rings
Smash the Colts and trash the Steelers
and the Charger's drugie dealers
Joyful all ye Patsfans rise
No more Peyton in our eyes
With clenched fists Goodell proclaims
Here's the prize enjoy the fame

Mark the footballs Brady slings
They're the ones that lead to rings

Now we see BB smiling
Grinning madly while coniving
You thought this year we had no class
And when you flinched we kicked your ass
Kiss this ring you stupid blowhards
You're all a bunch of freakin' ******s
With this trophy I proclaim
We're the best damned team in the game

Mark the footballs Brady slings
They're the ones that lead to rings

 

[shmessy]

Damn. There's some talent on this board!

Nice job, fellas.

 

[The Boston Patriot]

Don't give up your day jobs!

 

[ctpatsfan77]

Don't give up your day jobs!

Heh. FWIW, the "inspiration" for this was getting stuck in traffic on the way home from work in a car that had no CD player, and the only station I could find was playing all holiday music all the time. I heard Rudolph, and the rest was history.

 

[Metaphors]

'Twas four nights after Christmas, when all through the land
Every sports fan was watching, it was quite out of hand;

The beer glasses were put in the freezer to chill,
The big game was on, it would be such a thrill;

The Pats fans were watching the sports bar TV,
Since they didn't get NFL Network, you see;

And Bill in his hoodie, red flag in his sock,
Acting quite relaxed; this game was a lock,

When out on the tunnel came the Red, White and Blue,
I sprang from my seat. (what else could I do?)

Away to the TV I flew like a bird,
Turned down the volume, lest Gumbel be heard.

The Meadowlands crowd silent, knowing their fate.
With the Pats on offense, they would not have to wait.

But how would the Patriots choose to attack?
Why, a shotgun formation, four-wide and one back.

This dynamic offense was so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment this was gonna be sick.

More rapid than eagles Brady's targets they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Randy! now, Welker! now, Donte and Watson!
On, Laurence! on Kevin! on, Gaffney and Jackson!

Just get to the endzone, I'll get you the ball!
Now bombs away! bombs away! bombs away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
The Giants' defenders threw their hands up to the sky,

So into the endzone the targets they flew,
Every active receiver, and Mike Vrabel too.

And then, in a twinkling, I saw on the screen
Eli Manning's game jersey (it was not very clean).

As he faked a handoff, and was turning around,
Into his face Bruschi came with a bound.

Colvin came from the left, Adalius from the right.
Eli panicked since it had been just like this all night.

A duck of a pass he had flung just to try,
And the next thing he saw was Asante race by.

The utter destruction was nearly complete.
16 and 0! My oh my, what a feat!

Shula and Mercury, no toasts for their crew,
And Gregg Easterbrook just won't know what to do.

"They certainly cheated!" "Look how they run up the scores!"
Came the pitiful cries from the media whores.

Now Tomlin and Dungy were starting to wail,
They would be roadkill on the way to Glendale.

Even Goodell had to pause his suspending,
Would this total domination ever be ending?

A quick bunch of handshakes exchanged at midfield,
Mission accomplished, place in history had been sealed.

One week to recover and prepare for the rest,
Three more victims, fourth ring, the all-time best!

Bill's post-game interview, he gave them the biz,
"Some things better than others. It is what it is."

He sprang to the bus, to his team gave a shout,
Two days in New Jersey, they had to get the hell out.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of view,
"Perfect Season for Patriots, for everyone else...Eff You!"

 

[Disco Volante]

^
Heh, awesome.