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A Bills fan walks into a bar...

Discussion in 'The PatsFans.com Pub' started by TheGodInAGreyHoodie, Dec 25, 2008.

  1. TheGodInAGreyHoodie

    TheGodInAGreyHoodie Rookie

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    A guy walks into a bar wearing a Bills jersey, and carrying a cat that also has a Bills jersey on with a little Bills helmet on his head, too. The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the Bills game here? My TV is broke and my cat and I always watch the game together".

    The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there's any trouble with you or the cat, I'll have to ask you to leave."

    The guy agrees, and he and his cat start watching the game. Pretty soon the Bills kick a field goal and the excited cat jumps up on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.

    The bartender says, Hey, that's pretty cool! What does he do for a touchdown?"

    The guys answers, "I don't know, I've only had him for 3 years!"
    • Like Like x 1
  2. ctpatsfan77

    ctpatsfan77 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    :rofl: :rofl:
  3. Frezo

    Frezo Rookie

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    #50 Jersey

    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
    That was great!
  4. ALP

    ALP Rookie

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    oww, lol, just owww
  5. flapat

    flapat Rookie

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    That was hilarious.
  6. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Q. How do you keep the Bills out of your yard?
    A. Put up a goal post.
  7. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Q. What do the Bills and a possum have in common?
    A. They both play dead when they're home, and get run over on the road.
  8. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Q. What do you call 53 losers watching the Super Bowl?
    A. The Buffalo Bills.
  9. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Q. What is the difference between a Buffalo Bill and a dollar bill?
    A. You get four quarters from a dollar bill.
  10. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Q. How many Buffalo Bills does it take to win a Super Bowl?
    A. Nobody knows, and we may never find out.
  11. Gwedd

    Gwedd PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #61 Jersey

    A Bills fan and a Pats fan are walking down the sidewalk. The Bills fan walks into a bar. The Pats fan ducks. :singing:
  12. ctpatsfan77

    ctpatsfan77 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    A bit off-topic, but still . . .

    Q. What's the difference between the Arizona Cardinals and a half-dollar?
    A. You can get two quarters from the half-dollar. . . . :D
  13. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    A Bills fan, a Pats fan and a Colts fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

    However, with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

    The Colts fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Colts fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

    The Bills fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Bills fan out crying like a little girl.

    The Pats fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest team in the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Pats fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

    "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.

    "Tie the Bills fan to my back."
  14. Frezo

    Frezo Rookie

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    #50 Jersey

    What do blondes and the Bills have in common?
    They both have tight ends and slot receivers, but couldn't defend a pass on a bet.
  15. Gwedd

    Gwedd PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    #61 Jersey

    A kid goes into the bathroom at half time of a Bills/Pats game and as he's standing there doing his business, and Bills fan comes in. The kid looks up at him and says "Hey Mister! Are you a Bills fan?" The guy says "Sure am kid. Wanna wear my hat?" The kid says yea, and the fan puts his ballcap on the kid's head.

    A few seconds later a half-lit Southie staggers in, and props himself against the wall, trying to pee & drink at the same time. The kid looks over to him and says "Say Mister! Are you a Pats fan?" The southie lets out this huge belch, looks at the kid and says "GFY, kid."

    Without batting an eye the kid says, "Oh no, I'm not a Bills fan, mister! I'm just wearing his hat!".........
  16. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    In a school just outside of Buffalo, a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Bills fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Bills fans too.

    Not really knowing what a Bills fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However, there was one exception.

    A little boy named Tommy had not gone along with the crowd.

    The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different. "Because I am not a Bills fan" says Tommy.

    The teacher then asked, "Then what are you?"

    Tommy sayed "I'm a Patriots fan."

    The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she asked Tommy why he was a Patriots fan.

    "Well, my mom and dad are Pats fans so I'm a Pats fan too."

    The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?"

    Tommy said, "Then I'd be a Bills fan."
  17. SVN

    SVN Rookie

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    on a serious note i think their fans for all the misery are one of the loyal fan bases in the league. i wouldve rather seen the bills in the playoffs if not us than the jests and fish.
  18. jmt57

    jmt57 Moderator Staff Member PatsFans.com Supporter

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    All kidding aside, yes, far more loyal and knowledgeable about the game. Unfortunately as a whole, more obnoxious drunks as well.
  19. nashvillepatsfan

    nashvillepatsfan Rookie

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    Oh sh*t. Now those are some funny jokes. Great thread!!!
  20. Deus Irae

    Deus Irae PatsFans.com Retired Jersey Club PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Disable Jersey

    A man finds a bottle on the beach. He picks it up and dusts it off. To his surprise, a genie comes out of the bottle and offers to give him one wish.

    The man thinks about it for a while and then says "I wish for peace in the Middle-East.

    The Genie shakes his head in disbelief and summons forth a map.

    "Look at that", said the genie. "There are thousands of tribes, all sorts of religions and sub-religions, and thousands of years of wars and animosity. What you ask for is just impossible. You'll have to ask for something else."

    The man thinks for another minute and then says "Ok, then, I wish the Bills would win the Super Bowl."

    The Genie thought for a moment, looked at the man and said "Let's take another look at that map."

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