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2008 Draft, According to PatsFans.com...

Discussion in 'PatsFans.com - Patriots Fan Forum' started by PatsFanInVa, Apr 27, 2008.

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  1. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Round 1: Jerod Mayo, OLB, Tenn. Oh sure. Just what we need. Another guy that does everything well, so nobody has to call him inside or outside. Another guy that furthermore isn't Vernon Golston. This will end up just like when we weren't able to get Jonathan Sullivan. Oh well, at least it's not a total waste, unlike our lower round picks, who don't even seem like first-round talents.

    Round 2: Bilbo Baggins, CB, Colorado. He's made of glass and he's a hobbit. He's a glass hobbit. Good material to make a bong out of not an NFL corner. He's not tall enough and he's also too short. Speed and coverage skills are just so overrated these days. What we really need in a CB/Return man is a linebacker. Better yet an NBA center, then he doesn't even HAVE to jump, he's right there already! Further proof that "Terrence Wheatley" is a bust already: Nobody else had picked him. Then somebody else was about to and Belioli just FREAKED and picked him first, just because he was the highest guy on their draft board, regardless of what my scouting website said.

    Round 3a: Oh yeah sure trade a pick into 2009 just because you get a second rounder in exchange for a 3rd rounder, as if you'll every use it. You never will. You'll end up packaging them with some other lame future pick and ending up with a first rounder, and Goodell will just steal it. Screw that. This is the draft we have been waiting for, and you have to use every pick -- any other course of action is a mistake by consent of every website reading sportsfan ever born.

    Round 3b: Shawn Crable, OLB, Michigan. Oh, so this is supposed to count as getting younger and faster at linebacker? Even though I personally announced who I thought were the best linebackers available well before this pick? These guys have no idea how to draft.

    Round 3c: Kevin O'Connell, QB, San Diego State. Look, Tom Brady has never missed a game due to injury. Tom Brady is immortal. Tom Brady can make a woman orgasm by pointing at her and saying "BOOYA!" The best thing the Pats can do is never, ever draft a quarterback, certainly not so high as the third round. All developmental work on a QB is wasted in NE, because Tom Brady will never die, get older, or be injured. Tom Brady is eternal, and the team dies when he does. Since the team did not exist for me until Tom Brady was on it, I see no reason to believe otherwise.

    Round 4: Frodo Baggins, CB, Auburn. Or as some call him, "Jonathan Wilhite." Just like Bilbo (see above) but without the metal plates in his wrist. At least he has "hite" in his name. Scott and Bill, did you read my e-mails? Huh? Why do you still believe that a guy less than 6' can be a cover corner? I have declared it deeply desireable to hire someone at or above 6'. Speed, jumping ability, backpeddling, swiveling hips into a break, ball skills, and other attributes are often talked about, but can not really be considered as important as the number "6". It is only coincidental that I once stretched a tape measure halfway to my anus in search of that same elusive digit.

    Round 5: Matt Slater, WTF, UCLA. Okay we get it. Everybody should just play every position. Is he a receiver? Is he a return man? Maybe he's a cornerback? It's Frodo all over again. If they keep this up they'll just keep turning up guys like Troy Brown and Wes Welker. How dumb can you be. Can't they see that Randy Moss is really tall and really fast and has incredible hands? Why don't they just sign up guys like him at all the receiver positions, then maybe Deion Sanders clones at corner? Just get really GOOD guys and stop trying to finesse the draft by coming up with extremely productive guys about whom John Madden and Mel Kiper fail to gush.

    Round 6: Don't know yet... BUT DAMN, SANTI is GONE!!!! That was my favorite low-round tight end!!!!
     
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    Last edited: Apr 27, 2008
  2. LuthierJr

    LuthierJr Third String But Playing on Special Teams

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    LOL!!! Awesome post.
     
  3. blackglass3

    blackglass3 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    No Jersey Selected

    This is the best post ever.
     
  4. Fencer

    Fencer Veteran Starter w/Big Long Term Deal

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    #12 Jersey

    Great stuff. :)
     
  5. BradfordPatsFan

    BradfordPatsFan In the Starting Line-Up

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    One of the best draft-related posts all weekend.
     
  6. patsfan13

    patsfan13 Hall of Fame Poster PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Clearly BB & Sp are washed up we need to get someone who actually KNOWS how to put a championship team together, cmon Bob Kraft open up the wallet and see if we can pry Mel Kiper away from ESPN then we will be the kings of the draft...
     
  7. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Or maybe Dom Capers should handle this for us solo. Belichick has been running on fumes for years...
     
  8. psychoPat

    psychoPat Role Player PatsFans.com Supporter

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    A classic !

    Snagging as your signature
    is the sincerest form of flattery.
     
  9. Disco Volante

    Disco Volante Experienced Starter w/First Big Contract

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    #12 Jersey

    Oh do Bo Rudd, do Bo Rudd!
     
  10. naclone

    naclone Practice Squad Player

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    *applause*
     
  11. BradfordPatsFan

    BradfordPatsFan In the Starting Line-Up

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    Listening to WEEI right now. The OP could also be the average caller to the draft show.
     
  12. Pedrorocks458

    Pedrorocks458 Practice Squad Player

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    Amazing job.
     
  13. A.C Vegas

    A.C Vegas In the Starting Line-Up

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    #11 Jersey

    I think it was a riot some people don't understand sarcasm but I do and that is it at it's finest
     
  14. Rob0729

    Rob0729 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    I take offense to this! Frodo Baggins was a stud out of Shire State and was very instrumental in defeating Mordor University in the Middle Earth Bowl. Besides, he already has a championship ring, in fact, the One True Championship Ring. No one should compare him to Jonathan Wilhite.

    Ok, I am officially a geek for knowing this crap. Granted I was unofficially that for a while.

    P.S. great post and right on the money.
     
  15. blackglass3

    blackglass3 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    No Jersey Selected

    Wow, look what fell out of the NERD tree.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2008
  16. Gator Mike

    Gator Mike On the Game Day Roster

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    Well played, sir.
     
  17. PatsFanInVa

    PatsFanInVa PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    Oh come on, give him props for the "One TRUE Championship Ring" thing.

    You guys are great - doing paperwork to get a new job tonight, but anybody who wants to do Bo Rudd, feel free... start with "Oh okay he's got the same last name as a Tampa Bay guy, who was only added to the team because of the weird rule in Tampa that they must always have an overrated defensive player with a four letter last name ending with two of the same consonant. Sapp out, Rudd in -- well we don't HAVE that rule, and we didn't HAVE Sapp, although if BB/SP had listened to me, we damn well would have. Back when he was good."

    PFnV
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2008
  18. cincipatsfan

    cincipatsfan Third String But Playing on Special Teams

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    Two and a half hours and no one has come in here, failing to recognize very good sarcasm and going ape on pfv.

    Sense of disappointment is rising......
     
  19. blackglass3

    blackglass3 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    No Jersey Selected

    Nerd tree is just my way of making fun of 80's insults. "Look what fell out of the nerd tree" is something that some dumb jock would have said back then and his whole crew would have laughed at it, even though it really makes no sense. A perfect example is in Karate Kid one when one of Johnny's friends yells at Ali (about Daniel) "It must be "Take A Worm for a Walk" Week!" That is totally not funny and so lame. Naturally, that makes it very funny to someone like myself.

    My friend and I find it funny...we also really enjoyed Freddy Got Fingered. We've got issues.
     
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2008
  20. Rob0729

    Rob0729 PatsFans.com Supporter PatsFans.com Supporter

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    It the Geek tree thank you and I hit every branch on the way down.
     
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