Bradyism, come up with one

Tom Brady once threw 6 picks in a game but he gto mad and threw the ball so hard it reversed time and it bacme the Washington Vs New England game

Brady was studying his playbook while donating blood yesterday at the hospital. It made him so cool and calm they didn't have to refrigerate it afterward.

Sales of women's underwear in eastern Massachusetts have plummeted since 2000, as so many women are holding out hope for a chance meeting with Tom Brady.

Brady's baby has already been offered 15 full-ride athletic scholarships from Div. 1 schools, including Notre Dame and Michigan.

Brady has such a commanding presence that Gisele cooks, cleans, darns his socks and takes out the garbage when she comes to visit. She also watches re-runs of Martha Stewart and gets advice by phone from Jenna Jameson for more tips on how to optimize Tom's time at home.

King Midas asked Tom Brady to please touch him.

I bradied that girl right in her brady. That'll brady her to brady!

Brady that!

Tom Brady is actually left handed but he throws with his right hand because he might kill someone with his rockets.

A little off topic, but not really. Someone out there has a blog in the point of view of Tom's son. This is one of his better posts:

Dreamboat Baby:

Hello, my future subjects. I write to you from outside mother's womb for the first time - and on the whole it's not so bad out here, like a glorified sun-deck really. One thing is for sure though: medical quarantine sucks mega balls.

When I was delivered a number of unexpected things happened. While precautions were taken to prevent injury from the molten magma that entombed me, and that Uncle Randy had his best receiver's gloves on to catch me, we didn't count on something. I was born with the ******* Midas Touch. This didn't happen in my uterine lodgings, but it appears once out in your 'real world,' everything I touch turns to flawless solid gold. As you can expect, when I shot out of my homemade womb cannon, Uncle Randy ran a post (-partum ZING!) route and caught me over his shoulder. And before you knew it, his gloves had turned into solid gold. In a brief panic, he threw me towards the doctor who caught me against his chest, and became a golden statue right there. Father picked me from the arms of the former doctor and placed me in Mother's arms before slowly walking away. Later it was realized that Father's skin is made of a rare titanium alloy and mother's is of the finest porcelain, so they were not affected by my 'condition.' To add to the confusion, 4 nurses perished when upon viewing me, I literally melted their hearts. I actually knew I could do that, so seriously, that one is my bad.

So I have been computer-free for a full day, but it looks like my Midas Touch is actually fading - Father told a tale of how- throughout my life - ancient charms and prophecies will protect me and benefit mankind, and they reveal themselves through my very bloodstream as I age. Apparently this Midas thing is just a quickie.

Tomorrow I will be released from this quarantine and begin the name selection ritual with my parents and a council of long-supposed dead gods from olden days. It's a family thing.

But for now I am ending my first full day on this earth the way I started it: Eating a 60 oz Hanger Steak soaked in single malt scotch with two shots of Formula 1. Suck on that Gerber Baby.

...and another from Dreamboat Baby:



As for OK Magazine's title: Life Without Daddy, I admit it was my suggestion. You see, my eventual earth-rule must be built on a foundation of existing praise. So it is in my best interest (and therefore yours) to see that Father and Mother are appropriately recognized. However, if we went with my first suggestion, "OBEY" it wouldn't sell many magazines, and might be too direct. Instead OK! magazine and I agreed to put in a headline that would still sell on news stands and grocery stores, and would also promote my rise to power. If you rearrange the letters of LIFE WITHOUT DADDY you get:


THOU WILT DEIFY DAD


The man is already a walking God, but it would be nice to make it official, wouldn't it? Although the argument can be made his latest pass to Uncle Randy supplied all the evidence needed to prove his superiority to all mankind.

By midafternoon, I expect this picture will be framed and put in a place of honor in most homes across the world. I've been told the Smithsonian has dedicated a wing to my future school pictures. Those pictures of George Washington were played out anyway.



Growth Note: The lines of my palms predict YOUR future

When Tom Brady watches "Rudy," the crowd chants his name.

When Tom Brady spikes the ball, the playing field gets called for pass interference - and leaves the game with an injury.

Tom Brady once threw 6 touchdowns on 5-5 passing.

Tom Brady once ate a dozen Humble Pies in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the waitress.

Hey... that last one is adapted from Chuck Noris... thats cheating.

Brady responds to pressure better than a lump of coal.

Peter King would talk about Brady more, but he's embarrassed by the strength of his feelings for him.

Satchboogie3 said:

Hey... that last one is adapted from Chuck Noris... thats cheating.

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Yeah but so are some of the other ones I've seen. Plus, who do you think gets laid more, Tom Brady or Chuck Norris? I think Brady deserves to take that one for himself.

During sex, God yells out Brady's name.

cartmen said:

Brady is so cool when he goes to bed Sheep count him

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WINNER... :singing:

Brady lost his virginity before his dad did.

While John Madden needs to shout "Brett Favre" a thousand times, Gil Santos needs to quietly say "Brady" but once.

It took Tom Brady three minutes and seven seconds to locate, capture, and remove Jason Bourne from the planet.

Like after an Elvis concert, announcements will be made at all NFL stadiums after Brady has played, telling all fans:

TOM BRADY HAS LEFT THE STADIUM

or

Tom Brady makes the Fat Lady sing

I'm on it like Brady on a supermodel.


Have a Brady Chanukah, and a very Brady Christmas,

PFnV