The Hoodie parties hard: Set Sail Aboard the Belichick Party Cruise

bbobbo · Feb 23, 2016

OT: The Hoodie parties hard

apparently hearing about the success of Gronk's party cruise, Belichick decided to hold his own party cruise....

Set Sail Aboard the Belichick Party Cruise

(requires subscription)

some selected passages:

The unnamed vessel is The Krevetka, a 140-meter former Russian cargo ship primarily used to deliver copper and powdered milk. Abandoned in Delaware for most of the ‘90s, it was signed to the Patriots practice squad in 2010.

I am shown to my quarters by a Belichick Party Cruise assistant named Serge. I ask Serge how long he has been working with Belichick, and he says, “Sorry, assistants don’t talk. Policy.”

Our first destination is Bermuda, but the Krevetka doesn’t stop, it simply moves further south. When I ask Belichick why we didn’t stop at Bermuda, as intended, he huffs: “We’re on to the Bahamas.”

One of the heavily-advertised features of the Belichick Party Cruise is a Q&A session in which Belichick will discuss all four of his Patriots Super Bowl winning teams.

At approximately 2 p.m., Belichick arrives. He takes questions, and discusses each and every one of the Patriots Super Bowl seasons in vivid detail.

The session lasts approximately six minutes.

For the first time, there is laughter aboard the Belichick Party Cruise as someone locates a contraband copy of the New York Jets Buttfumble and we watch it, on repeat, for 20 minutes.

Belichick storms in, shuts off the TV, screams at us that we lost to the Jets this season in Week 16, and tell us to return to our rooms and watch tape of the East-West Shrine game until our eyes bleed.

Kontradiction · Feb 23, 2016

Could you give those of us who don't subscribe to the WSJ a quick rundown?

Hammer of Thor · Feb 23, 2016

KontradictioN said:
Could you give those of us who don't subscribe to the WSJ a quick rundown?

It's a humor column about the Bill Belichick party cruise. It's summarized below:

Kontradiction · Feb 23, 2016

Hammer of Thor said:
It's a humor column about the Bill Belichick party cruise. It's summarized below:

Gotcha. I was going to say that if there actually was such a thing, I would imagine the Titanic being more fun to party on than a Belichick cruise.

chasa · Feb 23, 2016

KontradictioN said:
Gotcha. I was going to say that if there actually was such a thing, I would imagine the Titanic being more fun to party on than a Belichick cruise.

i disagree. BB's cruise would probably be something much more low key then gronks, but i bet there would be tons of deep sea fishing, relaxing, story time., etc. For those of us that don't enjoy getting blackout drunk I bet it would be a great, if different, experience.

Kontradiction · Feb 23, 2016

chasa said:
i disagree. BB's cruise would probably be something much more low key then gronks, but i bet there would be tons of deep sea fishing, relaxing, story time., etc. For those of us that don't enjoy getting blackout drunk I bet it would be a great, if different, experience.

I was just trying to sneak in a joke there. But yeah, truth be told, at this stage in my life (I turn 30 in July

), I would probably prefer BB's cruise over Gronk's.

meatface · Feb 23, 2016

I just see a shipload of people in their cabins studying game film while walking on a treadmill.

bbobbo · Feb 23, 2016

KontradictioN said:
Could you give those of us who don't subscribe to the WSJ a quick rundown?

sorry about that! some of the WSJ articles aren't behind their pay wall, and i thought this was one of them. i put some quotes in the original post.

AzorianPats · Feb 23, 2016

KontradictioN said:
I was just trying to sneak in a joke there. But yeah, truth be told, at this stage in my life (I turn 30 in July ), I would probably prefer BB's cruise over Gronk's.

I just turned 31...Id prefer BB's cruise just for the simple fact there might be some hot looking Milfs walking around!

Galeb · Feb 23, 2016

All joking aside, I'd pay a good chunk of change to go on a BB cruise.

Mike the Brit · Feb 23, 2016

Galeb said:
All joking aside, I'd pay a good chunk of change to go on a BB cruise.

Only if there is a joint panel with BB and Ernie Adams.

fourhour · Feb 23, 2016

I think I'm too old for this forum......

n6249c · Feb 23, 2016

fourhour said:
I think I'm too old for this forum......

You may be old but you can still be immature!

Joker · Feb 23, 2016

Captain Queegdell is bombarding all available media outlets nonstop...Patriots!!! Bad !!! Gronk!! BIG BIG PROBLEMS!!! Belechick!! Real bad! Patriots Patriots Patriots!!!!!....meanwhile, his guillotine beckons...this stupid, arrogant birdbrain little rich kid run amok is nearing the end of the plank...

Palm Beach Pats Fan · Feb 23, 2016

Joker said:
Patriots!!! Bad !!! Gronk!! BIG BIG PROBLEMS!!! Belechick!! Real bad! Patriots Patriots Patriots!!!!!....

Sounds like the Ryan Grigson party cruise

Kontradiction · Feb 24, 2016

Joker said:
Captain Queegdell is bombarding all available media outlets nonstop...Patriots!!! Bad !!! Gronk!! BIG BIG PROBLEMS!!! Belechick!! Real bad! Patriots Patriots Patriots!!!!!....meanwhile, his guillotine beckons...this stupid, arrogant birdbrain little rich kid run amok is nearing the end of the plank...

No, he isn't, sadly. The owners absolutely love what he's doing. They're the real problem here. Start with them then work your way down to the little putz.

Tony2046 · Feb 24, 2016

Funny stuff.

First destination: Bermuda

Our first destination is Bermuda, but the Krevetka doesn’t stop, it simply moves further south. When I ask Belichick why we didn’t stop at Bermuda, as intended, he huffs: “We’re on to the Bahamas.”

Lights out

Lights out is 9 p.m., with optional film study until 3:45 a.m. Everyone does optional film study.

JudyPatFan · Feb 25, 2016

I got a laugh from this Wall St. Journal piece

Yes, I know, it plays on all the stereotypes about BB being grumpy and tough...but Jason Gay is a funny writer.

Set Sail Aboard the Belichick Party Cruise

RedSleevesPinkStripes · Feb 25, 2016

can you copy/paste the story... cant read without subscribing or signing in...

OhExaulted1 · Feb 25, 2016

The Vessel

The vessel is The Krevetka, a 140-meter former Russian cargo ship primarily used to deliver copper and powdered milk. Abandoned in Delaware for most of the ‘90s, it was signed to the Patriots practice squad in 2010 and caught 43 passes in the 2011 season.

(Krevetka is Russian for shrimp)

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