Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Man in Black:
[intrigued] You're
that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way: Have you ever heard of
Plato?
Aristotle?
Socrates?
Man in Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.
Man in Black: Really? In that case, I challenge you to a coin flip.
Vizzini: For possession of the ball?
[The Man in Black nods] To Kick or Recieve?
[He nods] I accept.
Man in Black: Good. Then flip the coin.
[Vizzini pulls out a coin] See both sides this, but do not touch.
Vizzini:
[sniffs] I see nothing special.
Man in Black: What you do not see is called a commerative dollar. It is heads is the profile of the commisioner, and tails is the 50 year commemorative symbol.
[He puts the coins behind his back and, show the coin heads on top tails the bottom]
Man in Black: All right. Flip the coin? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we will flip, and find out who is right... and who has lost.
Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would call head into his own coin or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would call tails, because he would know that only a great fool would call for what he was shown. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the heads in front of me. But you must have known I was not a great fool. You would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the tails which is not for me.
Man in Black: You've made your decision then?
Vizzini: Not remotely! Because coin comes from the League, as everyone knows! And the League is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose then heads in front of you.
Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait till I get going! Now, where was I?
Man in Black: The league.
Vizzini: Yes, the league. And you must have suspected I would have known the coin's origin, so I can clearly not choose tails on the coin.
Man in Black: You're just stalling now.
Vizzini: You'd like to
think that, wouldn't you?! You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you want me to chose heads, trusting on your flip to save you, so I can clearly not choose heads! But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the losing side as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the tails!
Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.
Vizzini: It has worked! You've given everything away! I know what side to pick!
Man in Black Then make your choice.
Vizzini: I will, and I choose- What in the world can that be?
[Vizzini points at a rock behind the Man in Black. When he turns to look, Vizzini swaps the coin]
Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.
Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.
[He is having a hard time containing his laughter]
Man in Black: What's so funny?
Vizzini: I--I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's flip. I call heads!
[They flip the coin]
Man in Black: You guessed wrong.
Vizzini: You only
think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched coin when your back was turned! Ha ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia," but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never flip against a Sicilian when the game is on the line!"
[He laughs hysterically, but suddenly freezes mid-laugh and realizes he lost the flip]
), theaters and so-called reality shows. Some things inevitably filter through, but I am pleased at how much of the junk could be so easily quarantined.
