Jets bring 350 rolls of toilet paper to London because British variety is too thin

Forgive my naivete regarding the "bidet" process.

My question: Post water blast with resulting wet tuckus...is step number two... a "TP" dryoff session.....or do the "refined" Europeans air dry?

Another question: I'm not sure if modern Euro toilets have a bidet feature included within (2 in 1) [edit....they do] but my last house had a bidet next to the toilet (never used it)......so......am I correct in assuming one takes the dump, then gets off the toilet and moves over to the bidet to finish the process? Does one "saunter" over to the bidet? Crab walk? Hop? Shuffle? Does one have to grip said butt cheeks in a spread position to minimize "sloppiness" during tranfer/crabwalk?

In this new world of politically correct/save the environment everything, I find it interesting that "enlightened" Europeans require two Basins, two water usages , with a TP finisher. And let's not forget the sink hand wash.
And drying off......are you doing jump shots with the used TP back into the toilet? And for those that use towels to dry off, are there his and her butt drying towels ......or is it a sharing system. And if sharing is the norm, doesn't that defeat the goal of ultimate sanitation?

I can see why the French go straight to "surrender" during every conflict. Despite never showering, their elaborate anal cleansing process leaves no time to defend their nation from invasion.

I'be been to over 40 countries all over the planet, from Third World locales where things are pretty "basic" to the nicest hotels in London, Hong Kong and elsewhere.

From countries where the toilet was a hole in the floor in the bathroom to countries where the towels are warmed by hot water flowing through pipes next to the bathtub and shower.

From countries where you can drink the water from the faucet to countries where you use bottled water to brush your teeth and you keep your mouth closed in the shower lest you accidentally get any water in your mouth.

And it never once entered my mind to bring my own TP.

This is why they laugh at Americans.

Good news!

They didn't just bring an overabundance of TP with them. They also brought Fireman Ed!

That's right, our favorite punching bag is back!

http://nyj.247sports.com/Bolt/WATCH-Fireman-Ed-lead-Jets-cheer-on-London-bus-39890588

patchick said:

Nope -- it's TP. Yes, all TP.

Plumbing in Greece

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Greece is one of the countries I've lived in. Just spent a month on Santorini in a rental with the same signs. I can guarantee you this is not how it is.

Real world experience. Not trip advisor. I know the signs are there, but they're there for a reason.

As long as you use common sense, you will be fine. Our regular cleaning lady didn't bat an eyelash when she never found TP in the bin.

Don't overstuff the toilets, conserve water. That's the idea.

I swear I have spent a great deal of time in Italy, Greece and Spain with the same signs, and I honestly have never once used the bin. When I asked Italians about it, they describe cultures that overstuff because they are used to more powerful water flows.

By the way, if anyone ever wants to rent a home on Santorini for a reasonable price in the best location possible, I have an excellent recommendation.

Intern says they use thin toilet paper because their plumbing system cannot handle thicker stuff.
Jets logic: Lets buy the entire New Jersey supply of the thickest paper we can get because that is smart.

Observer said:

Intern says they use thin toilet paper because their plumbing system cannot handle thicker stuff.
Jets logic: Lets buy the entire New Jersey supply of the thickest paper we can get because that is smart.

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So are we going to hear a story about a massive septic clog in a London Hotel due to 350 rolls of American toilet paper?

upstater1 said:

Greece is one of the countries I've lived in. Just spent a month on Santorini in a rental with the same signs. I can guarantee you this is not how it is.

Real world experience. Not trip advisor. I know the signs are there, but they're there for a reason.

As long as you use common sense, you will be fine. Our regular cleaning lady didn't bat an eyelash when she never found TP in the bin.

Don't overstuff the toilets, conserve water. That's the idea.

I swear I have spent a great deal of time in Italy, Greece and Spain with the same signs, and I honestly have never once used the bin. When I asked Italians about it, they describe cultures that overstuff because they are used to more powerful water flows.

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That's the key in any country. Just use common sense. Don't insult the host country. Act like you are visiting someone else's home. England is a fantastic country to visit. Powerful history, tons of sights to see, great people, great beer and the best fish n chip stands in the world. I've never been to Greece or Italy but Spain was another great experience although if you are not careful you will end up gaining about 10 pounds from eating the food because it is really good. No matter where I have been I don't recall ever thinking damn this toilet paper issue just wrecked my whole trip.

So...like how thick is American toilet paper? Because one thing I've never thought about it over here is "boy, this stuff is just too thin!"

upstater1 said:

By the way, if anyone ever wants to rent a home on Santorini for a reasonable price in the best location possible, I have an excellent recommendation.

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PM me please. I am besides myself with raging jealousy.

The Brandon Five said:

I spent two weeks in France this past May. Stayed at three different B and B's and two hotels. No sign of a bidet in any of them.

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Big time in Germany.

Tony2046 said:

So are we going to hear a story about a massive septic clog in a London Hotel due to 350 rolls of American toilet paper?

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The thought of the big uglies consuming deep trays shepherds pie and bangers....then heading off to the loo with their personal TP six pack...........

Big-T said:

So...like how thick is American toilet paper? Because one thing I've never thought about it over here is "boy, this stuff is just too thin!"

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Apparently there is a difference.

British Toilet Paper: Meh....



American Toilet Paper: Much tougher

I don't know why everyone's surprised at the Jets bringing their own toilet paper to England. It's part of the new Bowles Movement.

The joke in London must have been: Those guys (from NY) are full of sh*t!

The toilet paper strategy cannot be refuted at this time ... based on the results of the game.

The Dolphins said they were a professional football team. They may have committed visa fraud.

I guess they flushed the fish.

Let's see them win without special toilet paper. Cheaters! Forever tainted.