OT: Goodell's tool when dealing with players

And I don't mean the usual tools (Pash, Vincent, ...)

With the next rounds of Berman vs tomorrow, I figured I'd try to have some fun with the vindictive and creative minds we have on PatsFan. Consider it a tension release and distraction.

I'm talking about the seemingly randomness or lack of clarity Goodell uses to make his decisions. Let's assume he has some specially made magic 8-ball that he pulls from his desk, when alone, to guide him through the process of player-issue assessment (based on what you figure could be potential questions)

Rules are simple

1. Let's take the top 20 votes based on the number of funny/likes a response gets to determine the final winner list.
2. Responses have to be 6 words or less.
3. One response per reply (thanks woolster22 for point that out )
4. no foul language
5. voting end 8/21 [Friday] at 8pm EST

Here's the original responses of the magic 8-ball (to help prod you along)

• Signs point to yes.
• Yes.
• Reply hazy, try again.
• Without a doubt.
• My sources say no.
• As I see it, yes.
• You may rely on it.
• Concentrate and ask again.
• Outlook not so good.
• It is decidedly so.
• Better not tell you now.
• Very doubtful.
• Yes - definitely.
• It is certain.
• Cannot predict now.
• Most likely.
• Ask again later.
• My reply is no.
• Outlook good.
• Don't count on it.

More probable than not.
BB did it.
Patriots first round pick.
Integrity of the game.
Article 46
Integrity of the league
Independent investigation concluded
I serve 32 interests
Player safety is important
I want a meatloaf sammich
I bleed green FOR EVA
Woody is a kind reasonable master
Wish I had a Patriots rat
After ignoring the evidence
NFL supercedes laws of nature
NFL supercedes laws of the country
I wanted chocolate cake daddy

How would this aid the Jets?

Goodell's a tool when dealing with players.

mama said theyre the devil
out of order
wwjd
call wells
no but not in spanish

So we'll do NFL bingo , like Walmart bingo with all the crap lines that the NFL mouthpieces will say tomorrow like scheme, generally aware, more likely than not, destroyed cell phone, mcnally texts, dorito dink...

I never Hear a conflicting Opinion.

World at War is Better Place.

Sheep are everywhere that I'm Not.

League Players make some good Hugs.

Pillow fights are fun, no, really.

Trump wishes he had My Hair.

A dollar Earned is very Funny.

I take title Ginger Hammer seriously.

I do not realize it's joke.

Article 46 means I am God.

I love ruling over talented people.

How dare they be so talented

When I have none at all.