- Joined
- Apr 3, 2006
- Messages
- 26,101
- Reaction score
- 52,115
According to a source, Roger Goodell is "the devil" and "rips (players) throats apart." The former player, who has been identified and whose name appears in the story, and with context, on several major news sites, will not be named here for purposes of bias and a personally driven agenda, methods of public relations favored by the commissioner himself.
Goodell has not denied being the devil, otherwise known as Satan, who is thought to be an eternal figure of evil and the nemesis of the almighty God. It is unknown whether Goodell is actually the devil himself, having remained on earth to spread wicked ideals and promote false idolotry for eons and throughout countless civilizations, or whether Goodell is merely a human form that has, at some point, become possessed by Satan. Goodell was first introduced into civilization in Genesis, where he is described in the creation story as having tempted Adam and Eve with the apple of knowledge, from which all sin was born. It also believed that Goodell presides over the underworld, or hell, a place where sinners are exiled to suffer for all of eternity.
Scholars are attempting now to find Biblical references to the red-headed, fiendish Goodell in ancient texts, searching for the presence of an insecure hypocrite who in ancient times may have attacked the legitimacy of true sports heroes by lying to the public in order to expose them for false crimes.. If true, the revelation would cast a shadow onto Goodell's personal assessment, where he used the word "integrity" over 1100 times while writing the forward to his autobiography and implicitly asserted he was a man of high morals.
Phone messages for Mr. Goodell for comment went unreturned, and Mr. Goodell did not respond to requests to turn over his cell phone and emails. An non-independent review, under the guise of objectivity but with an axe to grind against Goodell, is expected to find it "more probable than not" that Mr. Goodell is, or is at least generally aware of his identify, as Satan.
If the devil (Goodell's new presumed name hereafter in all publications) is in fact guilty of ripping players throats apart, he will likely be forced to stand trial for his murderous crimes, and his legacy as commissioner of the NFL is now tarnished forever. At press time, the the murderous, violent, trachea-slashing villain was last seen communicating with an associate to whom he referred to as a murderer on previous occasions. (Excerpt: <FireCrotchCommish: Go get 'em killer!>).
The devil's attorney says that if convicted, the devil will appeal to a kangaroo court of which the judge himself was instrumental in using questionable, dishonest methods in gleefully exposing his client to begin with. Already, though, a group led by New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft, has expressed support for he devil, swearing an eternal blood oath to the demon king, and proclaiming that there will be "hell, fire, and brimstone" to anyone who attempts to remove the wicked ruler from his fiery throne atop the NFL.
Goodell has not denied being the devil, otherwise known as Satan, who is thought to be an eternal figure of evil and the nemesis of the almighty God. It is unknown whether Goodell is actually the devil himself, having remained on earth to spread wicked ideals and promote false idolotry for eons and throughout countless civilizations, or whether Goodell is merely a human form that has, at some point, become possessed by Satan. Goodell was first introduced into civilization in Genesis, where he is described in the creation story as having tempted Adam and Eve with the apple of knowledge, from which all sin was born. It also believed that Goodell presides over the underworld, or hell, a place where sinners are exiled to suffer for all of eternity.
Scholars are attempting now to find Biblical references to the red-headed, fiendish Goodell in ancient texts, searching for the presence of an insecure hypocrite who in ancient times may have attacked the legitimacy of true sports heroes by lying to the public in order to expose them for false crimes.. If true, the revelation would cast a shadow onto Goodell's personal assessment, where he used the word "integrity" over 1100 times while writing the forward to his autobiography and implicitly asserted he was a man of high morals.
Phone messages for Mr. Goodell for comment went unreturned, and Mr. Goodell did not respond to requests to turn over his cell phone and emails. An non-independent review, under the guise of objectivity but with an axe to grind against Goodell, is expected to find it "more probable than not" that Mr. Goodell is, or is at least generally aware of his identify, as Satan.
If the devil (Goodell's new presumed name hereafter in all publications) is in fact guilty of ripping players throats apart, he will likely be forced to stand trial for his murderous crimes, and his legacy as commissioner of the NFL is now tarnished forever. At press time, the the murderous, violent, trachea-slashing villain was last seen communicating with an associate to whom he referred to as a murderer on previous occasions. (Excerpt: <FireCrotchCommish: Go get 'em killer!>).
The devil's attorney says that if convicted, the devil will appeal to a kangaroo court of which the judge himself was instrumental in using questionable, dishonest methods in gleefully exposing his client to begin with. Already, though, a group led by New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft, has expressed support for he devil, swearing an eternal blood oath to the demon king, and proclaiming that there will be "hell, fire, and brimstone" to anyone who attempts to remove the wicked ruler from his fiery throne atop the NFL.
Last edited:
