A ha. Now we know they were guilty. Why else would the Patriots tell us the NFL asked them to suspend them if they weren't?
So, we now know this much:
11 of 12 Patriot balls were under inflated, 1 by over two lbs.
The ball that was 2 lbs lighter was the one MacNally accidentally deflated 12 times in the men's room.
MacNally deliberately tried to get an alternate ref to put s stolen ball in the game so it would be worth more when he sold it on the game ball black market.
A properly inflated ball is so heavy it caused Anderson Coopers body to tilt downward when held in the opposite hand from the one MacNally deflated twelve time's.
Walt Anderson has a photographic memory that is infallible except for properly remembering which gauge he used, fortunately for him Ted Wells remembered it was the one without the logo because it had to be that one. Good thing Ted remembered that for him.
Bill Belichick knew about all of this all along because he knows everything.
Tom Brady is a cheater and would never have been successful had they not been lightening the balls for him all along. No way the guy in that combine picture could have thrown a 12.5 pound ball more than 6 feet.
Jim MacNally is Brady's personal ball boy and travels to all away games and has deflated balls in every stadium in America, which explains why Brady is as good on n the road as he is at home.
Tom Brady paid MacNally and Jastremski off with Uggs.
No one in the league office has anything against the Patriots, in fact those running the league are among the Patriots closest allies, they all either worked out player for their friends in the AFC East, the Jets and Dolphins.
Jim Jastremski and Jim MacNally need remedial texting classes before returning to their ball tampering duties, that's why they were suspended, improper use of acronyms and tomfoolery terms.
Robert Kraft is overly sensitive and can't take a good spanling from the league anymore.
All the leaks came from the Patriots, they felt terrible about beating the Colts by that much and wanted everyone to know that it would have been much closer if the game balls were two pounds heavier. In fact Legarette Blunt would have tired out by the end of the first quarter had he had to carry 12.5 pound balls that much.
Tom Brady is a cheater. No way a sixth round quarterback outplayed Ryan Leaf unless he cheats. Christ, Leaf was the second overall pick, no way Brady is better.
Roger Goodell is supremely overqualified for his job, his dad was à Senator.
Mike Kennel is a huge Belichick fan, in fact he wanted him to coach the Jets.
