Kinda OT: one liners needed

NENGFAN · May 18, 2015

so at work I have colleagues who jest about deflategate. They say "I need some chocolate, feeling deflated" , etc.

I did shut them up using logic and they know for the most part it's a farce but still wanted to have some good, short one liners to counter deflategate jokes/accusations.

Sorry if this sounds pathetic but you know...need as much ammo as possible!

Thanks!

Tony2046 · May 18, 2015

I'll take the Deflate gate and you can keep the Buttfumble.

Fencer · May 18, 2015

Well, I hope you know what to throw in every time you have occasion to refer to the number 4.

Fencer · May 18, 2015

Actually, that idea could be extended to other numbers.

4 championships
6 Super Bowl appearances/AFC championships
5 straight division championships, if I recall correctly at the moment
12 total division championships, ditto
Etc.

Joker · May 18, 2015

balls went into the game like Wendy Whoppers..............

came outta the game like Twiggy's chest....

blackglass3 · May 18, 2015

Ideal Gas Law, high school drop out.

Palm Beach Pats Fan · May 18, 2015

mention trophies, rings, or parades

They say "I need some chocolate, feeling deflated"

You say 'Maybe a Lombardi trophy would cheer you up. Oh, wait...I forgot... your team SUCKS"

Bobsyouruncle · May 18, 2015

If you're offended easily skip this post.

NENGFAN said:
"I need some chocolate, feeling deflated"

Don't worry, you still look like a fat ass to me.

I believe midol is recommended for feeling deflated

I wasn't aware that deflated was the medical term for sand in vagina

Your mom doesnt look deflated, you should try the same thing I feed her.

Sorry I wasnt listening, I was just thinking about how great it is to see my team win 4 Super Bowls. You wouldn't understand.

Feeling deflated is a common symptom. Doctors think it can be caused from poor diet and following teams that are losers.

That's all I got.

RayClay · May 18, 2015

Longtime GM/prsonnel guy for the Pats and tough as nails two way lineman for the eagles Bucko Kilroy said it best. Work some of this in. [Fans might want to look up his WIKI for 30 years of Patriots and NFL history]. I've posted before, but i love it.

'Kilroy has a simple response for those opposing players, and media members, who described him as a dirty football player.

"That is the reply of losers," he said. "The losers will never admit that the Eagles were just the more physical team, or that the Eagles just wanted it more. The losers will not state, 'Wow! The Eagles physically blew us off the line of scrimmage running Van Buren down our throats!' The losing teams always had an excuse stating the Eagles were a dirty football team.'

Tony2046 · May 18, 2015

Here you go> http://www.jokes4us.com/sportsjokes/nfljokes/newyorkjetsjokes.html

NENGFAN · May 18, 2015

Bobsyouruncle said:
If you're offended easily skip this post.

Don't worry, you still look like a fat ass to me.

I believe midol is recommended for feeling deflated

I wasn't aware that deflated was the medical term for sand in vagina

Your mom doesnt look deflated, you should try the same thing I feed her.

Sorry I wasnt listening, I was just thinking about how great it is to see my team win 4 Super Bowls. You wouldn't understand.

Feeling deflated is a common symptom. Doctors think it can be caused from poor diet and following teams that are losers.

That's all I got.

Those are awesome! Thanks everyone. Keep me coming. More the merrier!

ausbacker · May 18, 2015

Yo' momma so fat not even Jim McNally could deflate her.

RxJock1120 · May 18, 2015

If you can't beat em, scream cheating.

Tony2046 · May 18, 2015

ausbacker said:
Yo' momma so fat not even Jim McNally could deflate her.

That was funny. Wish I could have double laughed that one.

eom · May 18, 2015

deez nuts!!

Tunescribe · May 18, 2015

Try this old reliable: "F*ck you!"

hornetfb85 · May 18, 2015

"%#$@ Off" usually works for me

hornetfb85 · May 18, 2015

Tunescribe said:
Try this old reliable: "F*ck you!"

excellent timing

TheFlyingWedge · May 19, 2015

They say "I need some chocolate, feeling deflated"
You say "Maybe if your football team wasn't such an embarrassment you wouldn't be deflated"

They say "I need some chocolate, feeling deflated"
You say "Actually you should be joyful since the Jets team is such a laughing stock"

Fencer · May 19, 2015

Fencer said:
Actually, that idea could be extended to other numbers.

4 championships
6 Super Bowl appearances/AFC championships
5 straight division championships, if I recall correctly at the moment
12 total division championships, ditto
Etc.

0 is a number you could use a lot.

Similarly, your synonym for "When Hell freezes over" could be "When the Bills win the Super Bowl".
(I stole that one from LOST, sort of.)

Or you could use analogies -- "As unsuccessful as a Jets general manager".

Kinda OT: one liners needed

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