Lyrics- With credit to Harper Valley PTA
I wanna tell you all a story 'bout a Foxboro widowed man
Who had four sons and ran a team really well.
Well his son came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play,
And he said."Dad, I got a note here from the Commissioner of the NFL.
Well the note said, "Mr. Kraft, you're team’s balls are way too flat”
It's reported you've been deflating balls and refusing to turn over your QB’s cell.
And we don't believe you oughta be playing games and running a team like that
And it was signed by the Commissioner, of the NFL.
Well it happened that the owners was gonna meet that very week.
And they were sure surprised when Mr. Kraft wore his Flying Elvis shirt into the room.
And as he walked up to the black board, I still recall the words he had to speak.
He said I'd like to address this meeting of the NFL owners and it got quiet as a tomb.
Well, there's Woody Johnson sittin' there, and he tampers with my team..
And Mr Snyder uses a racist name and runs his team like swill.
And Mr. Haslam can you tell us why you had to pay all that money for that scheme?
And shouldn't owner Jones be told stay out of photos with pretty young girls still?
Well another owner couldn't be here cause he stayed too long at a bar again.
And if you check Mr. Irsay’s briefcase you might find 29 grand and some pills.
Well you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as an owner I'm not fit.
Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you're all NFL hypocrites.
No, I wouldn't put you on because, it really did happen just this way.
The day Robert Kraft socked it to the NFL.
The day Robert Kraft socked it to the NFL