Employee in Bathroom w. balls for 90 secs

JDot said:

In 90 seconds?

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You haven't seen me at work then

Fansince77 said:

15 year old with Video game dexterity, almost Matrix like.

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Could potentially be a big difference though.

I'd have a hard time believing that some 16 yr old kid could be behind some major controversy, and I doubt too many others would believe it as well.

If it's a grown man--people are going to perceive him much differently.

Tom meets Kaepernick said:

You haven't seen me at work then

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The sad thing is that we'll be seeing and hearing all week about the possibility that it could be done.

Not you at work--but the ball boy in the restroom, of course.

Pretty sure you'd have to be some kind of Football deflating world champion in order to deflate 12 balls 2 pounds in 90 seconds.

mikey m said:

You damn homers won't give it up and admit it will you?

Obviously this employee took the balls to the bathroom where the patriots had stashed 11 more ball boys with 11 needles and deflated each of the balls. Probably pissed on the colts balls too, dirty cheaters.

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Ahhhh, see.... there was already a WHOLE DIFFERENT set of Balls in another bag waiting in the bathroom, that was put there from a secret hole in the floor and all he did was swap bags and take a leak I bet the Patriots have been doing this since 2001....I mean how can anyone rationally explain them winning so damn much?...

How long before joe blow hater comes up with this one?

serifyn said:

Pretty sure you'd have to be some kind of Football deflating world champion in order to deflate 15 balls 2 pounds in 90 seconds.

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You know damn well that we're going to see plenty of videos of someone spending about 8-10 seconds apiece on each ball, thus creating some crazy "what if" scenarios.

They gave a pats employee the Colts balls? Does this guy work for the pats or the nfl?

SVN said:

Another theory.. the ballboy was well coached by BB to deflate 11 balls in 90 seconds.

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Good jams?

serifyn said:

Pretty sure you'd have to be some kind of Football deflating world champion in order to deflate 15 balls 2 pounds in 90 seconds.

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No doubt someone will do it. I had a Guinness Book Of World Records book once and some of the world records were ridiculous. Some people will do anything to get a world record.

kennyb said:

They gave a pats employee the Colts balls? Does this guy work for the pats or the nfl?

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ball boys are NFL employees iirc

BREAKING NEWS: Linda caught leaving bathroom with the attendant. Jay Glazer confirms footballs weren't the only thing beat that day

kennyb said:

They gave a pats employee the Colts balls? Does this guy work for the pats or the nfl?

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It makes more sense to me that he'd have had both the game balls and practice balls for the Patriots, but who knows, at this point?

Tom meets Kaepernick said:

BREAKING NEWS: Linda caught leaving bathroom with the attendant. Jay Glazer confirms footballs weren't the only thing beat that day

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In that case, the "V Rings" would be making an unusual nighttime voyage, returning with one fewer passenger than it left with. . . .

hwc said:

Just to reflect on how misleading Glazer's report was:

JayGlazer
@JayGlazer

Breaking news: sources tell @FOXSports the NFL has zeroed in on a locker room attendant w Patriots who allegedly took balls from officials locker room to another area on way to field. Sources say they have interviewed him and additionally have video. Still gauging if any wrong doing occurred with him but he is strong person of interest

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That's the "beauty" of it. It's absolutely true, it's just written in such a suggestive way that people who want to read nefarious purposes into it can do so to their heart's content.

One last thought: instead of "zeroing in," shouldn't Glazer have said this guy was their #1 man?

Of course ESPN hasn't reported it was only for 90 seconds in a bathroom yet. Pathetic.

supafly said:

You know damn well that we're going to see plenty of videos of someone spending about 8-10 seconds apiece on each ball, thus creating some crazy "what if" scenarios.

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10 seconds is too long though, you run out of time. Even 8 seconds is too long. And that's not even considering getting 12 balls out of a bag and back into the bag.

Deus Irae said:

You haven't seen the woman who's going to be the first Anglican bishop...

Note:

People have clicked "dislike" on this post, so they must think this woman is hot. It takes all kinds, I guess.

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Here's a quarter...

rochrist said:

10 seconds is too long though, you run out of time. Even 8 seconds is too long. And that's not even considering getting 12 balls out of a bag and back into the bag.

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I know it's probably not possible, and you know it's probably not possible, but it isn't going to stop a bunch of people from speculating.

We also don't know, for example, how much air can be let out in 10 secs (which could roughly get 9-10 balls down in "about" 90 secs)? People will speculate that the ball boy let air out. You bet your ass they will.

C'mon....video of Patriots employee taking the bag of balls in a locked bathroom? What's the first thing that 2/3rds of the population is going to think of, right or wrong? (Obviously in this case likely wrong).

Some choice reddit comments regarding this from various team fans:

Everyone is saying "what if he was taking a leak" but I think we need to give some thought to the fact that he could have been jacking off.

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Could have been a no-wipe speed dump too. Lots of variables here.

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WHAT IF SOMEBODY WAS IN THERE WAITING TO HELP HIM DEFLATE THE BALLS!!!??? SECOND NEEDLER ON THE TURFY KNOLL!!!!"

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Are we even certain the ball boy that went in is the same one that came out????

IT WAS HIS TWIN. THE COLTS GOT PRESTIGE'D. SPOILER ALERT, ****ERS.

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"So run is through it again. You picked which urinal?"

"And how many times did you shake it?"

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He peed on the Colts balls.

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Earlier in the year, half a dozen ball boys are brought to Bill's house blindfolded.

In the basement of his house, the ball boys have the blindfolds ripped off them, before them sit a pile of footballs.

Bills looks at them and says "I want these balls deflated as fast as you possibly can. only one of you leaves here"

The ball boys furiously try to deflate the balls. Eventually one stands up and says "done"

Bill nods in approval. The other boys are once again blindfolded and dropped off somewhere in Mexico.

Is this not plausible?

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