Shots at the Pats that are actually funny

Vicomte de Valvert:
Monsieur, your nose... your nose is rather large.

...
Cyrano de Bergerac:
Oh, no, young sir. You are too simple. Why, you might have said a great many things. Why waste your opportunity? For example, thus: AGGRESSIVE: I, sir, if that nose were mine, I'd have it amputated on the spot. PRACTICAL: How do you drink with such a nose? You must have had a cup made especially. DESCRIPTIVE: 'Tis a rock, a crag, a cape! A cape? Say rather, a peninsula! INQUISITIVE: What is that receptacle? A razor case or a portfolio? KINDLY: Ah, do you love the little birds so much that when they come to see you, you give them this to perch on. CAUTIOUS: Take care! A weight like that might make you top-heavy. ELOQUENT: When it blows, the typhoon howls, and the clouds darken! DRAMATIC: When it bleeds, the Red Sea. SIMPLE: When do they unveil the monument? MILITARY: Beware, a secret weapon. ENTERPRISING: What a sign for some perfumer! RESPECTFUL: Sir, I recognize in you a man of parts. A man of... prominence! Or, LITERARY: Was this the nose that launched a thousand ships? These, my dear sir, are things you might have said, had you some tinge of letters or of wit to color your discourse. But wit? Not so, you never had an atom. And of letters, you need but three to write you down: A, S, S. Ass!
Vicomte de Valvert:
Insolent puppy, dolt, bunpkin, fool!
Cyrano de Bergerac:
How do you do? And I, Cyrano Savinien Hercule de Bergerac.

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Think about it: Where else have you seen a bunch of guys with lots of rings kissing the boss and each other as much as the Patriots do? Like the Corleones, it's just business, from owner Robert Kraft on down.

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Now imagine the ball boy's mother promising to go all the way up the food chain if necessary to get her son — whom we'll call Dave — out of trouble.

"But first, David, tell me where your baby pictures are. One of the guys from the news trucks parked on the lawn is asking."

"That's the last thing, mom. Don't call me David anymore. My new name is Drew."

"Drew."

"Drew Bledsoe. Coach Belichick told me nobody would remember that name."

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Gwedd said:

This one is funny as hell.

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The National Transportation Safety Board is a very serious government agency that does things like investigate accidents and tell us all how to not get in them. And apparently despite that, even they can’t escape making a Deflategate joke...

But it’s also a sure sign that Deflategate has gone too far. Happy Friday everyone. This week has been one for the ages.

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RayClay said:

Nice article by New Yorker Mike lupica here. I suggest it for all the fans that are fainting over that stain on their prom dress.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/f...ick-tom-brady-pair-villains-article-1.2086317

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