Tom Brady: ‘Joe Montana Sucks And I Am Better Than Him’ the onion article

http://www.theonion.com/articles/to...paign=LinkPreview:1:Default&recirc=super-bowl

love the onion....

There was another Onion headline that made me LOL earlier, "John Elway Casually Mentions to Peyton Manning How Great it Was Going Out on Top in '98".

I know it's 2015 but you should still leave out the onion part because someone is bound to not get that it's a joke.

Saw this out of the corner of my eye, almost spewed my sandwich. The whole "beast" thing has amused me since I first heard the term (I guess because I don't hang in jock circles ).

http://www.theonion.com/articles/panicking-marshawn-lynch-unable-to-deactivate-beas,35147/

fnordcircle said:

I know it's 2015 but you should still leave out the onion part because someone is bound to not get that it's a joke.

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Ok dude, that's it. You gotta explain....what is it with these weird a** gif's?

Wax Frog said:

Saw this out of the corner of my eye, almost spewed my sandwich. The whole "beast" thing has amused me since I first heard the term (I guess because I don't hang in jock circles ).

http://www.theonion.com/articles/panicking-marshawn-lynch-unable-to-deactivate-beas,35147/

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My favorite is: Tom Brady Autobiography Highlights The Highs And Highs Of Being Tom Brady
"On the one hand, readers will see the side of Tom they already know from the football field—a good-looking millionaire who is constantly winning—but on the other, they'll finally learn who Tom is off the field: a constant winner who is also a good-looking millionaire."

Mountain_Commando said:

Ok dude, that's it. You gotta explain....what is it with these weird a** gif's?

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Welp, it's all part of my ongoing commentary on the self-perpetuated myth that we require governance. Specifically the government propagates crime by subtle oppression of minorities in urban locations who then respond by breaking the laws of the government that is oppressing them and thus creates the crime stats necessary for the rest of us to submit ourselves to subjugation at the hands of the government out of a desire for security.

I've chosen to emote this through gifs as a further commentary on the impotence of thoughtful expression in today's low-attention span "media" whose chief goal is to nurture the narcissist inside all of us whose baby boomer parents never forced to accept that we are merely members of the unwashed masses.

Either that or I just put gifs in my sig that make me laugh.

fnordcircle said:

Welp, it's all part of my ongoing commentary on the self-perpetuated myth that we require governance. Specifically the government propagates crime by subtle oppression of minorities in urban locations who then respond by breaking the laws of the government that is oppressing them and thus creates the crime stats necessary for the rest of us to submit ourselves to subjugation at the hands of the government out of a desire for security.

I've chosen to emote this through gifs as a further commentary on the impotence of thoughtful expression in today's low-attention span "media" whose chief goal is to nurture the narcissist inside all of us whose baby boomer parents never forced to accept that we are merely members of the unwashed masses.

Either that or I just put gifs in my sig that make me laugh.

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So the tongs are government and the budgie represents the people? Starlings would be better representation of the people, you know, like in a great big flock of starlings. But a budgie is definitely funner than a starling so that's a win on the making me laugh thing.

fnordcircle said:

Welp, it's all part of my ongoing commentary on the self-perpetuated myth that we require governance. Specifically the government propagates crime by subtle oppression of minorities in urban locations who then respond by breaking the laws of the government that is oppressing them and thus creates the crime stats necessary for the rest of us to submit ourselves to subjugation at the hands of the government out of a desire for security.

I've chosen to emote this through gifs as a further commentary on the impotence of thoughtful expression in today's low-attention span "media" whose chief goal is to nurture the narcissist inside all of us whose baby boomer parents never forced to accept that we are merely members of the unwashed masses.

Either that or I just put gifs in my sig that make me laugh.

Click to expand...

Wax Frog said:

Saw this out of the corner of my eye, almost spewed my sandwich. The whole "beast" thing has amused me since I first heard the term (I guess because I don't hang in jock circles ).

http://www.theonion.com/articles/panicking-marshawn-lynch-unable-to-deactivate-beas,35147/

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That's hysterical! One of the best Onion pieces I've ever seen.

manxman2601 said:

So the tongs are government and the budgie represents the people? Starlings would be better representation of the people, you know, like in a great big flock of starlings. But a budgie is definitely funner than a starling so that's a win on the making me laugh thing.

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Actually, I would assume that the user of the tongs is the government and that the tongs themselves were means that the government uses to control us.

This bird is being profiled by "the man" as a "bird of color"

Eh, not one of the onions best work. Seems kinda lazy. I stopped going there after it got way too political. Elway and Peyton headline is really funny though.

fnordcircle said:

I know it's 2015 but you should still leave out the onion part because someone is bound to not get that it's a joke.

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kinda tempted to post it on a Jets and Ravens forum just for that reason.

Froob said:

Eh, not one of the onions best work. Seems kinda lazy. I stopped going there after it got way too political. Elway and Peyton headline is really funny though.

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I agree. I like the Onion, but that piece was slapped off in 90 seconds.

shmessy said:

I agree. I like the Onion, but that piece was slapped off in 90 seconds.

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Seems like humor in general has gotten weak. Or maybe I've gotten cynical.

Froob said:

Seems like humor in general has gotten weak. Or maybe I've gotten cynical.

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There was one person, "Brendan", who wrote a review of Lacey Noonan's Gronk book who was an absolute comic genius.

The Onion should hire him forthwith.

http://www.amazon.com/review/R3IDHV...il-glance&nodeID=133140011&store=digital-text

"The western canon is scattered with watershed works of literature penned by American authors...add A Gronking to Remember to that list. With this book - nay, this work of art - Lacey Noonan has truly catapulted herself, however knowingly, into the pantheons of greatest American authors (F. Scott Fitzgerald, Mark Twain, etc.), greatest female American authors (Willa Cather, Toni Morrison, etc.), and greatest humans (Jesus, Julius Caesar, etc.) to have ever set foot on this great Earth we call home.

Lacey Noonan has an uncanny ability to elevate simple words and images to unforeseen heights through basic literary device. Consider this excerpt, which felt truly like Lacey was confronting Shakespeare head on, staring him down, shaking her flabby arm and saying "Hey Billy, look what I can do!" : "On the TV I watched the large man spazz out with joy. He was surrounded by his teammates, mere munchkins by comparison. They surrounded him like supplicants around a holy mountain, but he scattered them away." Never again, dare I say, will we see such brazen and undeniably successful magic make its way onto an ebook page.

Years hence, as the human race crumbles and mere shreds of our cultural fabric remain for other beings to discover, I would feel confident in saying that A Gronking to Remember would do satisfactory justice to the artistic heights achieved during our collective time here. This should be required reading for men and women of all ages. I joyfully look forward to the day when this is printed in every language so that it can be enjoyed by all nations as a universal testament of our shared human experience. If such a galvanizing force has ever existed or will ever exist, we have discovered it in the graceful words of Lacey Noonan. A sincere thank you to The Dishes Are Done, Man publishers to taking a chance on an unknown author and allowing her to channel whichever god speaks through her. We have been blessed beyond belief."

I think fnordcircle should write for the Onion, if he doesn't already.