Another NFL player in trouble - Jonathan Dwyer arrested for domestic abuse

What is it with running backs!? Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson. Le'Veon Bell and Blount too, although their crimes were petty in comparison.

RB Jonathan Dwyer (Arizona Cardinals) is the latest player in trouble

http://fansided.com/2014/09/17/report-cardinals-rb-jonathan-dwyer-arrested-domestic-violence/

According to the update, he hasn't been arrested and is just answering questions. I think it'll be interesting to see what happens in situation like this, especially if no arrest is forthcoming and/or he denies the accusation. The Peterson and Rice cases were pretty cut and dry since in both cases they admitted to having done what they were accused of and/or there was video available. In cases like that, I'm fine with the league being proactive in issuing punishment. But if whether or not the guy even did it is in dispute, that makes for a much murkier situation.

BradyFTW! said:

According to the update, he hasn't been arrested and is just answering questions. I think it'll be interesting to see what happens in situation like this, especially if no arrest is forthcoming and/or he denies the accusation. The Peterson and Rice cases were pretty cut and dry since in both cases they admitted to having done what they were accused of and/or there was video available. In cases like that, I'm fine with the league being proactive in issuing punishment. But if whether or not the guy even did it is in dispute, that makes for a much murkier situation.

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Absolutely agree. It's especially difficult to make a call since the Domestic Violence Industry keeps moving the goal posts and expanding the definition(s) of what "Domestic Violence" means. At our local police station, there's a poster that states that Domestic Violence can mean simply being "talked down to" or having someone say something about you that "makes you feel bad".

In most states, all someone has to do is tell an officer that he or she has been "battered" and the police MUST make an arrest. It's gotten that bad in this country. And why? The almighty dollar. Domestic Violence non-profits depend upon increased arrests in order to keep the money flowing in, to pay their salaries, run their shelters, etc. It's gotten to be big business, which is why the definitions keep expanding. Once the numbers start to drop off, you need to find a way to keep them going.

Now, having said all of that, I am NOT condoning, nor even trying to downplay real domestic violence, There is simply no excuse for it. But when women, especially, can be coached on what to say by attorneys in order to help their divorce proceedings, then you know how bad the thing has gotten. I can attest to what a good friend of mine went through. His wife was cheating on him and he found out. He was about to file divorce papers on her when she found out about it. She went to a local fitness center every day, so for a week (at least) she was bruising herself with hand weights and then claimed he was beating her. The cops arrested him, and she would have gotten away with it but for a couple of women at her gym who told the cops what they had seen. Eventually, SHE was arrested for making a false official claim, etc.

What I'm getting at is that while we have monsters like Rice and Petersen, there are also women out there who see an easy mark and a way to get a big fat paycheck off some football player, and who won't bat an eyelash when it comes to making up a false claim, etc. What with the current situation, this has all the halmarks of becoming a modern witch-hunt, with the press acting to incite the mob demanding they all be strung up.

So my advice is to act cautiously, and deliberately, because our society has become so PC that we're close to perverting our judicial system and ruining the lives of some innocent men just to make ourselves feel good.

Anyway, that's my take on things. I'll step off my soapbox now.

Gwedd said:

Now, having said all of that, I am NOT condoning, nor even trying to downplay real domestic violence, There is simply no excuse for it. But when women, especially, can be coached on what to say by attorneys in order to help their divorce proceedings, then you know how bad the thing has gotten. I can attest to what a good friend of mine went through. His wife was cheating on him and he found out. He was about to file divorce papers on her when she found out about it. She went to a local fitness center every day, so for a week (at least) she was bruising herself with hand weights and then claimed he was beating her. The cops arrested him, and she would have gotten away with it but for a couple of women at her gym who told the cops what they had seen. Eventually, SHE was arrested for making a false official claim, etc.

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I bet we all have that friend who was wrongfully accused of domestic violence. I was a fly on the wall for a conversation I heard firsthand between a friend of mine and the woman he was married to but divorcing. She had started attending a support group for abused women.

Doing my best to paraphrase from memory: He said to her something along the lines of "how are you abused? I have never ever laid a hand on your in anger, damaged any property or physically threatened you in any way." She said "You're emotionally abusive." So he said "How am I emotionally abusive?" She said "Last night you called me a *********." He said "Yeah that's because you called me a **********." She goes "It's different when I do it." So he says "how is it any different when you do it?"

And this is the response that she gave that I heard with my own ears that I will remember until the day I die:

"When you call me names, you're being emotionally abusive. When I call you names, it's because you deserve it."

SB39 said:

I bet we all have that friend who was wrongfully accused of domestic violence. I was a fly on the wall for a conversation I heard firsthand between a friend of mine and the woman he was married to but divorcing. She had started attending a support group for abused women.

Doing my best to paraphrase from memory: He said to her something along the lines of "how are you abused? I have never ever laid a hand on your in anger, damaged any property or physically threatened you in any way." She said "You're emotionally abusive." So he said "How am I emotionally abusive?" She said "Last night you called me a *********." He said "Yeah that's because you called me a **********." She goes "It's different when I do it." So he says "how is it any different when you do it?"

And this is the response that she gave that I heard with my own ears that I will remember until the day I die:

"When you call me names, you're being emotionally abusive. When I call you names, it's because you deserve it."

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Wow, it's things like that that put knots into my stomach.

There are some situations where the woman can actually be at fault. Sometimes I feel as though there are a few women out there who believe that they are faultless, and that no one can even use a negative word towards them or else they feel as though they are abused.

Yes. We as men are much at fault in many situations, and should never put a hand on a woman for any reason. Hitting a woman for any reason unless the reason was life threatening is sickening. And men like Ray Rice and Greg Hardy were definitely the wrong ones in their situations.

But there are many domestic cases where the woman can be just as much at fault, and in your case from the situation you heard, the man can actually be the victim.

Gwedd said:

...

What I'm getting at is that while we have monsters like Rice and Petersen, there are also women out there who see an easy mark and a way to get a big fat paycheck off some football player, and who won't bat an eyelash when it comes to making up a false claim, etc. What with the current situation, this has all the halmarks of becoming a modern witch-hunt, with the press acting to incite the mob demanding they all be strung up.

So my advice is to act cautiously, and deliberately, because our society has become so PC that we're close to perverting our judicial system and ruining the lives of some innocent men just to make ourselves feel good.

Anyway, that's my take on things. I'll step off my soapbox now.

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While I agree, sorta, I gotta add the NFL view.

The NFL really does not care. Players, can rape and pillage as long as it makes no news.

The NFL does not care about crime. The NFL cares about PR.

Any woman claiming anything - abuse to murder - it comes down to if she has video. With a mountain of evidence it is page 8 of section G. With video - even highly edited video taken out of context- it is the first story on CBS, NBC, ABC, and Fox evening news. Guess which one the NFL would be concerned with.

Oh, some may call this a pessimistic view. I call it realistic.

Oh being temporally close to the Ray Rice video is enough to screw Dwyer. If this comes out next year and there is no video, we do not know enough to discuss it.

SB39 said:

I bet we all have that friend who was wrongfully accused of domestic violence. I was a fly on the wall for a conversation I heard firsthand between a friend of mine and the woman he was married to but divorcing. She had started attending a support group for abused women.

Doing my best to paraphrase from memory: He said to her something along the lines of "how are you abused? I have never ever laid a hand on your in anger, damaged any property or physically threatened you in any way." She said "You're emotionally abusive." So he said "How am I emotionally abusive?" She said "Last night you called me a *********." He said "Yeah that's because you called me a **********." She goes "It's different when I do it." So he says "how is it any different when you do it?"

And this is the response that she gave that I heard with my own ears that I will remember until the day I die:

"When you call me names, you're being emotionally abusive. When I call you names, it's because you deserve it."

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Emotional abuse is a real thing, but in my anecdotal experience when people claim to have suffered from it most of the time it means "well I didn't suffer from any actual abuse, but I'm still mad.". Same thing happened with my parents. My mom accused my dad of being emotionally abusive when she divorced him, probably to strengthen her case. She also accused him of domestic abuse to all of their mutual friends, but was smart enough not to formally accuse him of that since it was BS and she was the one with the record anyway. Watching that unfold made me deeply skeptical of domestic abuse claims in general.

I used to work at a non-profit that operated a short term rental subsidy to low-income folks who were struggling and but had prospects for affording their apartments going forward. I can say from personal experience meeting from meeting with people who were victims of DV (domestic violence), it is a very serious thing. Peoples lives were often completely ruined. Middle class people would get into an abusive relationship, become depressed, alienated from their friends, lost their employment etc. It would takes years for them to recover. In other cases, woman were abused (emotionally, physically, sexually) in their own home growing up. This sometimes caused people to be emotionally dependent, and have a tendency to get into abusive relationships going forward.

The worst part about that job was that we had to turn many people down for financial assistance, because of rules related to our funding sources. Their is a lot of victim blaming that goes on in out society, and when we would turn them down they would often feel that they were denied assistance because they were victims. The other sad fact is that sometimes peoples willing chose to move back in with a abusive partner because they had no options. They could not find enough work to live by themselves, and their families were much better than their abusers.

I think it is totally possible that someone could fake D.V. charges, but I don't think our first reaction should to claim that the are lying. Try to understand how devastating relationship abuse can be, and how the people who get into these situations often do not have any good alternatives. Or even if they do have alternatives, it can be extremely difficult for people to stay out of abusive relationships, for a number of well documented psychological reasons.

NE-VT said:

I think it is totally possible that someone could fake D.V. charges, but I don't think our first reaction should to claim that the are lying. Try to understand how devastating relationship abuse can be, and how the people who get into these situations often do not have any good alternatives. Or even if they do have alternatives, it can be extremely difficult for people to stay out of abusive relationships, for a number of well documented psychological reasons.

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Absolutely agree. My comments above were that what has happened is that the needle has swung so far over that it's become impossible, in many cases, to separate the wheat from the chaff.

I understand fully the NFL's messaging, because they have a reputation to maintain, and a balance sheet to make. Note how quickly the Vikings set Petersen back down again, likely permanently, once their big sponsors, like Radisson Hotels pulled their advertising dollars. It's also not good to have the face of their franchise be knee-deep in kimchee when they're looking to the public for funding for a new and expensive stadium.

I get that. My point is that society needs to find a way to take a step back and let the legal system play itself out. Yeah, I have no love lost for Petersen or Rice after seeing those images, but for a lot of others, it's better to let the dust settle before jumping on (or off) the bandwagon. It's hard to take the NFL's message of teamwork and fair play seriously when the "affair d'jour" becomes a witch hunt and due process goes out the window.

and the cardinals deactivated him imedietly, Looks like Ray Rice was the preseason for the NFL and its Teams, Then peterson was Week one, and now finally in week 2 they are starting to click and execute.

Joey007 said:

Wow, it's things like that that put knots into my stomach.

There are some situations where the woman can actually be at fault. Sometimes I feel as though there are a few women out there who believe that they are faultless, and that no one can even use a negative word towards them or else they feel as though they are abused.

Yes. We as men are much at fault in many situations, and should never put a hand on a woman for any reason. Hitting a woman for any reason unless the reason was life threatening is sickening. And men like Ray Rice and Greg Hardy were definitely the wrong ones in their situations.

But there are many domestic cases where the woman can be just as much at fault, and in your case from the situation you heard, the man can actually be the victim.

Click to expand...

What we never hear about is the emotional abuse men suffer from women. Some of it can be quite extreme, and is why some men lose their cool and lash out physically. Hopefully, this eventually will enter into the domestic abuse discussion, which for now is all about men bullying women physically.

You can not even look women anymore that that can be considered harassment

something to consider now that there are harsher penalties is that these guys are walking on egg shells, and if they are in any sort of volatile relationship it could result in MORE domestice abuse issues because a simple argument could quickly spiral out of control, lead to a threat of "I'll calling the police" and the player just losing his mind now that he'll literally start to lose his career.

Definitely good that domestic abuse is finally getting the attention it deserves, but right now its going to be really rough going this year at least.

these domestic violence arrests are bad because they'll cause MORE domestic violence...

no wonder they call Patsfans a genius convention sometimes...

We'll there is just so much wrong here. The NFL is in trouble! latest I saw was an article the try's to like Brian injuries to domestic violence..interesting but who knows

Thing is I know a lot of people at work that have decided to not watch the games this weekend, now I'm sure it is temporary but it could be all the do gooders in this country will do their best to end the nfl...

What you should do...what you shouldn't do.

What if there are a lot of partners of nfl players who have and at bein abused right now that to this point were scarred of saying anything for a myriad of reasons? And now they have the courage?...we could be seeing a lot pop up in the near future

A group of 1600+ men aged 20-35 (mostly) are being scrutinized.

Show me 1600 doctors, lawyers, preachers, teachers, policemen, Sunday school teachers, Patsfans posters, or WHATEVER

and I am sure we could line up a fair amount of wifebeaters, kid beaters, drug users, kiddie porners, or about any other vice you can imagine.

It is a group so large that it is a little silly to be so outraged at individual cases, as long as the perps are viewed equally under the law and hopefully by their employers.

this society has gone to the dogs man.. sickening

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