This isn't necessarily aimed at you specifically, but at a general misunderstanding of how abuse trauma manifests: A person can evolve from an abusive upbringing to appear "successful" in outward appearances. But make no mistake, abuse trauma takes its toll in unforeseen ways -- especially if abiding shame and pain goes unaddressed therapeutically. I can all but guarantee you those kids who got "serious whuppings" are haunted by subconscious demons they probably don't understand because, hey -- those whuppings were "normal" and they "deserved" them.
Maybe, I'm sure that's the case with some people, and it probably changes from person to person.
The kids I knew also weren't 4 years old, so that's a lot different.
Part of my hesitance here is in knowing that I do not know what is best, especially with only having a little window into their lives, troubling as it may look. If Peterson generally just administers physical discipline, and this one night he went overboard, what does that mean?
Does that mean he is a "child abuser?"
Does it mean he should go to prison for two years, lose his job in the NFL, the millions his children would one day inherit, and be forever separated from his children? Maybe, but to make that judgement on a quick whim is potentially reckless, with no respect for the concept of `family`
But I am in no position at all to really have the insight here to know if that is best. I mean, when you're dealing with a father who does something like press hot clothes hangers to their children's skin, or something equally horrific and disturbing, you're obviously dealing with a whole different level of abuse, and there is no question that, in that situation, the person should do FIFTY years in jail, and never be allowed to see his children again.
On the other hand, what do you do to a father who uses a belt, however distasteful some might find it, and one night uses it for 30 seconds too long? Do we give the concept of family a one strike and you're out rule? Do we throw him in prison, bust up the family, take away his livelihood, and that's just that?
I don't know Adrian. I have no idea if he's an otherwise loving father with a very, very old school style of parental discipline, or if he's a crazy thug that regularly beats the living hell out of his children. With that in mind, it's hard for me to go all in on taking everything away from him (and, in the long term, his sons) with only having a picture and a text message and a story.
The judge that gets all the information, and gets a very clear window into the Peterson home, is just in a much better position to make that judgement than I am, and that judgement isn't just going to be punishment for Peterson, but will have significant ramifications for the entire family.