NFL Limerick Contest

Deus Irae said:

There once was a man from Nantucket
He knew the Jets suck, too

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Contest over. This is your winner!

There once was a fat coach named Rex
Whose team could not shake off its hex
It was so full of woes
He would lick his wife's toes
Even that was one helluva mess!

I guess I'll keep bumping this thread with one limerick per day.

Back to where it all began.........


There once was a Lewis named Mo
For this Jet my love continues to grow
It was his sideline crunch
That began the Brady Bunch
And introduced the bench to Bledsoe



***I love Bledsoe too, but c'mon, God Bless Mo Lewis!

There once was this jerk named Goodell
Whose bad moves shot the league all to hell
More games and more playoffs?
This dope should be laid off
'Cuz whatever he does, man it smells!

Come all ye Patsfans and cheer
Belichick and Brady star here
They beat on the Bills,
Jets and Dolphins for thrills
And hold the Lombardi most dear

They march down the field
When opponents won't yield
Call heaves to the Gronk
Ride Vereen like a bronc
And hammer til victory's sealed!

There once was a QB named Brady
Who married this beautiful Lady
She fell for his pass
About her nice @ss
He said "That thing is hotter than Hades"

:rocker:

There once was coach from New York
Who's old QB looked like Bjork
His new Quarterback killed dogs

The End

There once was a QB named Vick
Who sure was an obnoxious prick
He hurt and killed dogs
Now he plays with the frauds
Down in Jersey where fans are so sick

There once was a brat named Dan Snyder
Who wished he was an NFL insider
To live out his dream
He spent his allowance on a team
May as well throw the Skins in a grinder

Limerick tributes to a few of our all-time Patriot favorites:


When it comes to handling the press
BB leaves reporters in stress
He stymies their quiz
with "it is what it is"
an advanced game of gridiron chess


There once was was a Bruschi named Tedy
BB called him steady and heady
When he spotted a fumble
He was ready to rumble
resulting in parades and confetti


On a playoff night snowy and bleary
The Tuck rule made Oakland quite teary
Fans witnessed a feat
From the magic right cleat
Of a kicker named Adam Vinatieri


An outside rusher named Willie
usually made Manning look silly
Off the edge he would fly
with a gleam in his eye
as he sacked the hapless hillbilly

Here's 3:


There once was a back named Ray Rice
Whose manners were not very nice.
He exclaimed "That's absurd!
I'm a dirty Ratbird!
You expected all sugar and spice?"



The once was a Miami Dolphin
Who liked to grope women while golfin'.
His leadership dream
Was to bully his team
In the hope the Commish would absolve him.



There was a New England tight end
Whom you wouldn't want to offend.
His idea of a thrill
Was to (allegedly) kill
Sure his lawyers would not break or bend.

Man, you guys are awesome!

Jerry Jones, the owner of Dallas
Invokes such feelings of malice
a businessman peddling
his know-it-all meddling
and a head resembling a phallus.

There once was a coach of the Steelers
He thought they'd be wheelers and dealers
But as the time went
He saw no money spent
And said I'd better put out some feelers

Rex Ryan went out and signed Decker
But Belichick has the best record
He said to Rex, "Jesus,
We signed Darrelle Revis,
I think you should just stick to checkers."

Jets are known for speed
The team is owned by greed
They lack the skill, but attack at will
while never able to succeed

There is a time and place
In their minds of hate
where they praise Rex in enraged texts, for all the blind mistakes

Never knew we had so much talent on this board. Good job :rocker:

Re: NFL Limerick Contest (Ode to Mark Sanchez)

Jet Fan said he had testes of brass
'Til that ill-advised Thanksgiving pass
He didn't *quite* have possession
The highlight of regression
Drove his head up his own lineman's ***

JoeSixPat said:

Fans of teams popular in Nantucket really shouldn't be looking to limericks to mock other teams.

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There once was a team from Nantucket
Who kept cash in a bucket.
A cheerleader named Nan
ran off with a man.
As for the bucket, Nan tuck it.

a hyaku:

Snow plow, Chicago Bears,
watch Stingly paralyzed;
Old highlights realy sad

PATSNUTme said:

There are posters who like to call names
Like racist, idiots, morons,bigots- it's all the same
they do this from the safety of their keyboards, because they can
But if they keep it up they will be headed for a ban.

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A "moron" responded to a troll
shaming his behavior was his goal
but trolls never learn
much like A. Hern.
His warnings on himself took a toll.

(Hey, you do this in 5 minutes. I know the last line clunks.)