Conflicted
Sure this is a 'venting' post but posting on this forum can be therapeutic but I'm conflicted on how to feel about yesterday's loss.......
I mean, I very well understand that we were up against the highest scoring offense in the history of the NFL without many of the weapons we planned on having when personnel decisions were made in the offseason. We were left without Gronkowski, Hernandez, Mayo, Wilfork, T.Kelly, and Spikes while knowing that Brady's receivers were the least experienced crew in his career. When Talib went down with injury we all got that sense of "oh no, here we go again".
There certainly is no shame in losing to a juggernaut such as the Broncos, and we've had a great year (even overachieved) but there is certainly that stinging feeling of being close again without actually winning. After seeing some of our juggernaut teams not win (2007, 2010, 2011) I thought maybe, just maybe, this is the year that we are not the most talented team but still find a way to win.
I look back and think, why couldn't we have gotten it done like the Ravens, but then I'm conflicted because then I think "we did, in '01, '03, and '04". Other teams that have won recently, including the same Giants that have been a thorn in my side, haven't won THREE in recent times like we did in the early 2000s.
So I realize I'm spoiled as I've watched and rewatched Three Games to Glory I,II, and III over and over again during this playoff run, but I still can't help wanting that Three Games to Glory IV sooooooooo badly.
Of course, I think I'm feeling overly emotional about this loss and season as a result of my sister as well. We're a close family, and we all love the Patriots. My sister, at the far too young age of 32, suffered fatal injuries by just falling down her home stairs. We went through a long week of ups and downs while she was being treated at the hospital only to have it end badly. We lost her on 9/5/13, just days before the opener. So while her sudden loss has been tremendously tough on us, each week I could count on the Patriots as my three hours of "life on pause" (away from family tragedy, work troubles, bills, etc). Now that it's over I just feel like that was my last connection with my sister. I know this is completely irrational, but I couldn't help think that maybe just maybe she had something to do with some of these late game comebacks and the fact that the team was defying the odds and continuing to overachieve. So with the season being over I feel like I've lost one of my escapes. It would have been really great to end it with a championship.
So I'm conflicted because I realize we've had it soooooo good and the Pats have given us so much success but I can't help this feeling that I wanted this one sooooo badly.