OT: Dierdorf quantifiably the worst announcer

Dierdorf, however, has a whopping 61 infractions, giving him the honor of the statistically worst commentator in the NFL. Some Dierdorf lowlights:

He really enjoys using the phrase "at first blush" -- which is a phrase I've heard only Dan Dierdorf use -- incorrectly. The dictionary definition is "as a first impression," yet Dierdorf often uses it to mean "after I have seen five slow-motion replays."

"BenJarvus Green-Ellis is just a solid, good running back," as a graphic flashes showing he's averaging 2.7 yards per carry this season.

"I think that's a catch that, more often than not, he almost always makes."

After watching Tommy Kelly on the ground, holding his knee for several seconds, "it's some type of leg injury."

"We've got to do whatever we've got to do to get Chris Johnson the football."

"Any drive that ends in a kick is a pretty good drive."

"Possession is nine-tenths of all that's good about recovering a fumble."
Now you know why I popped a bottle of champagne when I learned Dierdorf will retire after this season. I mourn the brain cells lost while listening to him speak.

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The mute button is your friend.

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Uncle Rico said:

Quantifying the best and worst of NFL broadcasting. | SportsonEarth.com : Aaron Gordon Article

Cool article, this guy analyzed announcing crews for number of cliches, factual errors, babbling nonsense, going off-topic, etc.



Top marks seem to go to NBC.

And the closing comment in the article is good advice for all:

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"Wes Worker is a possession receiver that make things happen."

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"Alex has a lot of growing up to do, and it's hard to grow up when you are learning three different offenses every year." (Commentary: Three different offenses every year, huh? That's a lot of turnover in the Bay Area. What are they doing down there?)

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(On the Super Bowl) "The loss tonight... And the loss today is gonna hurt for a long time." (Commentary: So, apparently the Patriots lost to the Giants twice. Once at night, and once in the afternoon. Damn it, I only saw one of those games.)

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(Attempting to quote Jimmy V) "Don't quit. Don't ever quit." (Commentary: For the record, Jimmy V's immortal words were "Don't give up. Don't ever give up." Well, at least Emmitt understands synonyms. Oh, and Emmitt, don't quit. Don't ever quit your gig at ESPN.)

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"He was coming through line to make a move and got blind sided by Al Wi... Al Wi... Al Jackson." (Commentary: Don't bother searching for Al Jackson on NFL.com. He doesn't exist in real life - only in Emmitt's mind.

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"If it slip in Week 1, it slip in Week 8." (Commentary: I don't know what slip in Week 1, but clearly the same thing happened in Week 8. Let's just hope that when it slip in Week 15, the verb is actually conjugated.)

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"Last year there was a lot of things the Colts had to address. They couldn't stop the run... and all those... that was one of the biggest things they had to address." (Commentary: Brain fart, much?)

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"They can ride Adrian Peterson into the doggone playoff." (Commentary: Not the playoff... The Doggone Playoff!)

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"Eli Manning has been given the rice of passage." (Commentary: Damn it, why haven't I been given the rice of passage?)

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Daigle said:

To me, who lives in sweden and gets the swedish broadcast all those you talk about are miles away from the idiot we have in the studio. And our guy did actually have some experience, I believe from atleat one training camp in the NFL. I wish I could show you.

Maybe he just got hit in the head one too many times.

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Crononaut said:

I went ahead and did a transcript of Tasker's insightful and articulate commentary of Gost's onside kick against the Browns. Note that all typos are absolutely intentional.

Tasker: "They're marking it past the ten yard lar-line where it had to go. Now this is a kick and it's a change of possession so it'll be, uh, reviewed automatically, but they're spotting the ball short of the 40. Now it's gotta go to the 40 yard line, you'll see, and nobody can touch it until it gets there. Now, the, I think the Patriot looked like - uh-oh, it looked like Gostkowski touched it, touched it with his hand as it comes down. But one of the Browns players... one of the Browns touched it, right there, but I think, there's a chance, that Gostowdski might have touched it with his right hand before it goes forty right... there, but I don't think so. That's recovered by the, by the Patriots."

Criqui, amazed he can remember a name: "Like Kyle Arrington might have got it!"

Tasker: "The question is, the question is dids Gostkows...Goskowsti ki.. touch this right here as it bounces of the turf right here."

Criqui and Tasker then proceed to have conversations with themselves, neither one directly relating to the other.

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Crononaut said:

Tasker: "They're marking it past the ten yard lar-line where it had to go. Now this is a kick and it's a change of possession so it'll be, uh, reviewed automatically, but they're spotting the ball short of the 40. Now it's gotta go to the 40 yard line, you'll see, and nobody can touch it until it gets there. Now, the, I think the Patriot looked like - uh-oh, it looked like Gostkowski touched it, touched it with his hand as it comes down. But one of the Browns players... one of the Browns touched it, right there, but I think, there's a chance, that Gostowdski might have touched it with his right hand before it goes forty right... there, but I don't think so. That's recovered by the, by the Patriots.".

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