The 2012 season: the Jets [Mod Edit: STILL] suck

Since it's song night, let me repurpose a parody I did a few years ago:

BECAUSE OF THEM
[Sung to Kelly Clarkson's "Because of You"]

They will still make the same mistakes they used to
They can't stop themselves from causing so much misery
They will not win the way the Pats did
They suck so bad
They learned the hard way, they'll never ever get that far

Because of them
(Mark never strays too far from the pocket)
Because of them
(They learned to play on the safe side so they don't get hurt)
Because of them
(Fans find its hard to trust
The QB and the entire roster)
Because of them
JEST fans are afraid

They lost their way
And it's not too long before they figured out
They cannot cry
Because they knows that's weakness in fans' eyes
Rex forced to fake, a smile, a laugh
In every press conference
Fans' heart can't possibly break
'Cause they weren't even there to start with

Because of them
(Mark never strays too far from the pocket)
Because of them
(They learned to play on the safe side so they don't get hurt)
Because of them
(Fans find its hard to trust
The QB and the entire roster)
Because of them
JEST fans are afraid

Fans watch them choke
Fans hear them whine
After every beatdown
They are so proud
They should have known better than to throw those picks
They never read the defense
They just see their pain
And now fans cry
In the middle of the night
Cause they've . . . GOT . . . NO . . . RINGS!

Because of them
(Mark never strays too far from the pocket)
Because of them
(They learned to play on the safe side so they don't get hurt)
Because of them
(Fans try their hardest just to forget every loss)
Because of them
(They don't want to watch the Patriots win)
Because of them
Fans are ashamed of their team
Because they're chokers

Because of them
JEST fans are afraid
Because of them
Because of them

PatsFanInVa said:

Now are you drunk on Cutty Sark
Or do you have faith in Marky Mark
If Tanny tells you so
Or do you have faith in Tebow's God
Can the wildcat save your sorry job
And can you teach one of them to throw?
Well I knewyou weren't in love with Tim
Till you saw his footwork in the gym
And when he kicked off his shoes
You forgot them hisses and boos
I was a lonely middle-age fireman
With a reputation as a super fan
But I just turned my tail and ran
The night the Jets chant died...
We were singin' (repeat chorus)

[Tag, you're it, Shmess]

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OMG, I'm on the floor!!!!!!!

I'm not worthy!!!!!!

I'm just enjoying the creative hatred that is this thread. We've been hatin' on the JEST for something like 415 pages, yet they always find a way to give us new material...

PatsFanInVa said:

I'm just enjoying the creative hatred that is this thread. We've been hatin' on the JEST for something like 415 pages, yet they always find a way to give us new material...

Click to expand...

Heck, enjoy some of the pure hatred that Jets fans are giving to themselves:

can we show a little loyalty/love to the guys that delivered two AFCCG's? - Jets Insider.com Forums

There's enough gold in that thread to start a rush.

.....but I'll give it a shot anyhoo......


More than forty years they've been in the tank
while they're QB's dated every skank,
now is always how it used to be.....
When Mangini squealed to the King Green Bean,
A former intern who worked there as a teen,
A Commissioner who has it out for you and me.
And while Belichick was looking down,
Greggggggggg Easterbrooke went to Funkytown,
The press threw in the towel,
They hated Billy's scowl,
And while Brady read his book of plays,
The Bristol TV Boys tried to affect his gaze,
We Patsfans all counted down the days,
'Til the night the Jets chant died......
And we were singin' [chorus[

Tag, you're it again PFiV!

Deus Irae said:

Heck, enjoy some of the pure hatred that Jets fans are giving to themselves:

can we show a little loyalty/love to the guys that delivered two AFCCG's? - Jets Insider.com Forums

There's enough gold in that thread to start a rush.

Click to expand...

OMG, I'm like in the second post and see this...

Mangini got a crappy deal. He was rebuilding and Woody screwed it all up by forcing him to take Brett Favre to sell PSLs to the new stadium.

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Ho-Lee Crap LMAO.

Miss Me Yet?

Fun Fact: Brandon Moore's ass is currently only 1.5 sacks behind the Jets leader, Bryan Thomas.

Wooo hooooo musical hate night! And I get the easiest verse to make about football cuz it's already sort of about football...

...

Helter skelter, hey, remember
Super bowl rings in September?
Never reached the top, and fallin' fasssssst
Mark landed soiled on the grass,
And then he tried for a forward pass,
But the JESTers only big win's in the past
Well the halftime score was through the roof
While Brady acted so aloof
We all got up to leave
It was worse than we could conceive
Cause the players tried to play the game
With outcomes by and large the same
Does Ed recall his walk of shame
The day the Jets chant died?
And we were singin...
[repeat chorus]

Tag, Shmessy

Fun pic...

PatsFanInVa said:

Wooo hooooo musical hate night! And I get the easiest verse to make about football cuz it's already sort of about football...

...

Helter skelter, hey, remember
Super bowl rings in September?
Never reached the top, and fallin' fasssssst
Mark landed soiled on the grass,
And then he tried for a forward pass,
But the JESTers only big win's in the past
Well the halftime score was through the roof
While Brady acted so aloof
We all got up to leave
It was worse than we could conceive
Cause the players tried to play the game
With outcomes by and large the same
Does Ed recall his walk of shame
The day the Jets chant died?
And we were singin...
[repeat chorus]

Tag, Shmessy

Click to expand...

And there we were all at One Pat Place
Buying up Bob Kraft's junk by the case
With no more cash to start again
So come on Rex be nimble, Rex be quick
Rex Ryan's wife got a pedi-lick
Cause bad judgement is Woody Johnson's only friend
And as I watched Thanksgiving Eve,
I saw that Fireman begin to heave
A sigh of fire from Hell
Even Tebow's ribs could tell
And as the Pats climbed high into the night
The scene gave Mister Ed an horrific fright
No one saw that fireman take his flight
The night the Jets chant died
And we were singin' [Chorus[


Back to you, PFiV!

I can set all this to guitar music if you want....

Tragic part is you need piano for the beginning and end or it just doesn't work... got anybody on keys?

time to bring it home...

I met a girl who liked the Jets
And I asked her if she'd make a bet
But she just smiled and walked away
Though from a dribble just before she smiled
Showed she'd already been defiled
by paying off a pats fan's bet that day
And on GangGreen, Tebowers dreamed
Sanchezers whined, and most just screamed
Not much coherent spoken;
Their minds and hearts were broken.
And the team that seems to matter least
The runner-up in the AFC East
Is one fireman light - rest in peace
The night the Jets chant died

(repeat chorus)

PatsFanInVa said:

Tragic part is you need piano for the beginning and end or it just doesn't work... got anybody on keys?

time to bring it home...

I met a girl who liked the Jets
And I asked her if she'd make a bet
But she just smiled and walked away
Though from a dribble just before she smiled
Showed she'd already been defiled
by paying off a pats fan's bet that day
And on GangGreen, Tebowers dreamed
Sanchezers whined, and most just screamed
Not much coherent spoken;
Their minds and hearts were broken.
And the team that seems to matter least
The runner-up in the AFC East
Is one fireman light - rest in peace
The night the Jets chant died

(repeat chorus)

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Well done, PFiV!

....and good night, Ed, wherever you are.

As I said earlier, it could have been any one of us. The players play, the coaches coach. We just twirl in the wind on the periphery and pay for it all.

In Mark Sanchez's ipod

Sir Mix-A-Lot - I like big butts ( Official Music Video ) - YouTube

Another lost mind on JI, this comparison would make more sense if Green Bay was the laughing stalk of the NFL on a regular basis and their QB was a bottom feeding JAG every year.

I guess Aaron Rogers sucks now too? - Jets Insider.com Forums

When Rogers runs into his guard's ass and fumbles I'll join you.

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robbomango said:

Another lost mind on JI, this comparison would make more sense if Green Bay was the laughing stalk of the NFL on a regular basis and their QB was a bottom feeding JAG every year.

I guess Aaron Rogers sucks now too? - Jets Insider.com Forums

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No, when GB's quarterbacks become bottom-feeders, the JEST rent them for a year.

PatsFanInVa said:

I'm just enjoying the creative hatred that is this thread. We've been hatin' on the JEST for something like 415 pages, yet they always find a way to give us new material...

Click to expand...

It really is amazing.

I never used to relish in their misery, but that all changed after they tampered with Tuna Crap. It only got worse since.

Deus Irae said:

Heck, enjoy some of the pure hatred that Jets fans are giving to themselves:

can we show a little loyalty/love to the guys that delivered two AFCCG's? - Jets Insider.com Forums

There's enough gold in that thread to start a rush.

Click to expand...

The Green on Green hate crimes are out of control.

My fav is the Fireperson Edward thread where SAR disses the mascot quitter

Admit it guys, you KNEW this Jets season would be bad, but did you ever think it would be THIS bad? The Butt6 Bumble on national TV. Mascot quits on national TV. Captain Jet bails on the game. And we haven't even gotten to the point in the delicious season where Sanchez develops an "injury" and can't start yet!