(Foxborough) The Massachusetts State Police are seeking three men in conjunction with a brutal assault and battery that occurred in this quiet New England town on Monday night.
According to State Police spokesperson Mafata Shimeo, Staties want to question New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, running back/wide reciever Danny Woodhead and head coach Bill Belichick following the assault and battery case that resulted in the horrible beating of one Rex Ryan, of New York, and his team, the New York Jets.
Ryan, who was questioned by police while consuming 9 Boston Crèmes, 7 chocolate crullers, and 2 boxes of donut holes at a local Honeydew Donuts shop on Route 1 to "ease his pain", told police that Belichick, 58, of Weston; Woodhead, 25, of Savin Hill; and Brady, 33, of Back Bay, assaulted and beat him and his team sometime between 8:30pm and 11:30pm EST on Monday night, along with a large group of unidentified men that Ryan could only describe as “a sea of violent Blue and Silver”.
"It was horrible", Ryan commented while clutching a Weight Watchers “points guide” in his pudgy hand. "You never think something like this will happen to you. I feel, so, so...violated!"
A State Police investigator who refused to be identified, told the Herald, “You could tell he was distraught by the way he ate his Boston Crèmes. He didn’t bite them. He lined the hole up to his mouth and sucked all the crème out of the middle, the split them open and licked the inside. This was a heinous crime!”
State Police were also trying to interview former NFL wide receiver and current analyst Cris Carter, but apparently he has "disappeared".
