"God and Tom Brady"

[37Harrison]

Had this emailed to me today and got a laugh out of it so I thought I would pass it along to my fellow Patriot fans.

God asks Peyton Manning first: "What do you believe?" Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I always try to do right by my fans."
God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, "What do you believe?" Tony says, "I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life.
I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing field."
God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence, and offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: "And you, Tom, what do you believe?"
Tom replies, "I believe you're in my seat."

 

[shmessy]

Here's another good one

http://www.patsfans.com/new-england-patriots/messageboard/showthread.php?t=70529

 

[PromisedLand]

Good one. It reminds me of the one (which was posted here years ago, but probably is worth retelling) of how one day, many years from now, Peyton Manning dies and goes to heaven, and when he gets there St. Peter puts his arm around him and tells him,

"Peyton, you have had a wonderful life, and your football play has brought joy to many people, so we are going to reward you by giving you a house to live in here in heaven."

And then St. Peter points to his left, and there is a magnificant house, emblazoned with the Colts logo and Peyton's number 18. And Peyton is very joyful and grateful, until he notices that on the other side of his house, is an even bigger and more resplendant house, and that it is covered with Pariots logos and is enclosed by an ornate wall made of rare and beautiful marble, with intricate carvings of Pat Patriot and the Flying Elvis, and a huge gate over which is an archway inscribed with a giant number 12.

And so Peyton turns to St. Peter and says,

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful, and the house you have given me is certainly very beautiful, but why is Tom Brady's house so much bigger and finer than mine?"

To which St. Peter replies,

"That's not Tom Brady's house. That's God's house!"

 

[homerpatsfan]

awesome. i'll be sure to pass that on.

thanks

 

[Real World]

A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor


God asks Peyton Manning first: 'What do you believe?'

Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, 'I believe in
hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I
was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.'

God can't help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a
seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, 'What do you believe?'

Tony says, 'I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the
fundamentals of life. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I've always
tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the playing fields.'

God is greatly moved by Tony's sincere eloquence and his charming smile, and he offers him a seat
to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady: 'And you, Tom, what do you believe?'

Tom replies, 'I believe you're in my seat.'

 

[Grogan's neck roll]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

I loved this joke when I heard it 4 months ago!

 

[363839]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

How many more times does this joke need to be repeated?
I believe this is the 4th thread with this joke.

Edit: I just realized you're the OP, RealWorld.
You need to come over to the football side of this forum more often, bro.

 

[PatriotsReign]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

OK, here's my joke....

A Jags fan walks into a local establishment, steps up to the bar to order his beer and notices several jars full of money sitting on the shelf behind the bar.

The bartender hands him his beer and the man asks "what's with all the jars full of money?" The bartender tells him "we've had a contest going on for almost a year and no one has won"

The Jags fans asks what the contest is and the bartender tells him;

"The contest is $50 to get in. You gotta do 3 things...first, you gotta knock out Rocko our bouncer who's never been beaten in a fight. Second, our bar dog Bruno is a pit bull and he has a bad tooth and you gotta pull it out. And third, Marge is a retired hooker who lives upstairs & hasn't had the big O in 10 years...and you gotta ring her bell so to speak"

The Jags fans lays his $50 on the bar, goes out to the pool room, taps Rocko on the shoulder, sucker punches him & knocks him out. Next, he goes into the kitchen where Bruno the pit bull with the bad tooth is. For the next 10 minutes, everyone in the bar hears pots & pans banging & Bruno howling & growling.

The Jags fan finally emerges from the kitchen all scratched up, his shirt torn and looking a mess. As he's tucking in his shirt, he says to the bartender

"Now where's the old lady with the bad tooth?"

 

[5 Rings for Brady!!]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

I always thought this joke was dumb. Every single word about Manning is a mis-characterization to the extreme. Manning is the opposite of what they portray in every possible sense, except the family bit. Replace goodness with ego-maniac and you have a start.

Romo is goofy, not charming.

And finally, Tom is the guy who always puts team first and actually has all the attributes assigned to Manning in this misguided joke.

They say every joke is supposed to have a hint of truth, only this joke is ass backward.

 

[reflexblue]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

R.W.It's just as funny now as it was when I read it Here Last Week.

 

[TheGodInAGreyHoodie]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

I always thought this joke was dumb. Every single word about Manning is a mis-characterization to the extreme. Manning is the opposite of what they portray in every possible sense, except the family bit. Replace goodness with ego-maniac and you have a start.

Romo is goofy, not charming.

And finally, Tom is the guy who always puts team first and actually has all the attributes assigned to Manning in this misguided joke.

They say every joke is supposed to have a hint of truth, only this joke is ass backward.

Here is the thing like many jokes just replace in one person you don't like and two people you do. I have heard the same joke with three presidential candidates. Don't like the Colts, just swap Brady and Manning tell joke. This is the first time I have seen it with Romo, last time Farve had that spot.

 

[Real World]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

How many more times does this joke need to be repeated?
I believe this is the 4th thread with this joke.

Edit: I just realized you're the OP, RealWorld.
You need to come over to the football side of this forum more often, bro.

The OP?

 

[Real World]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

R.W.It's just as funny now as it was when I read it Here Last Week.

You know me flex, I'm always a day late and a dollar short. Doh! I guess in this case it was a week late!

 

[Absurdly Metro]

Re: A Little Patriots Playoffs Humor for You

The OP?

Original Poster