OT (funny): ESPN Sports Gal's Week 17 Picks and Explanations

[maverick4]

Sports gal is Bill Simmon's wife who destroyed him in NFL picks this year. This week she gave explanations for all her picks, which were hilarious. They reminded me of that episode on 'Perfect Strangers' where cousin Balki Bartokomous kept winning his gambling sports bets based on similar logic, driving cousin Larry insane.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/071228

"Here, watch. I'll take you through my picks process and "think out loud." I looked at each game, jotted down my thoughts and quickly made the pick, then expanded them for each pick after the fact. If I didn't make it clear enough, I never spend more than 90 seconds total on my picks. So pretend that everything you're about to read crossed through my brain in 90 seconds. These are my picks for Week 17:

Rams (+6) over CARDINALS
Please, a Ram would destroy a Cardinal. Also, I don't even know where the Cardinals play. Baltimore? St. Louis? I told you, this is why I'm 23 wins over 50/50 -- I don't know even the basics."

 

[Tommysgirl]

She really is hysterical. I was pissed that she took so much time off from her rants this year, I really look forward to them.

 

[PrairiePat]

Everytime I read one of her columns, I'm stunned they're not divorced yet

 

[Fixit]

This was a great read. She had me cracking up in a few spots.

 

[maverick4]

another one:

Seahawks (+1) FALCONS
This was an easy one: I really love Seattle so I usually pick the Seahawks, and I rarely pick the Falcons because I don't like their name. If I had to pick five American cities that I'd live in other than Boston, I think I'd go Seattle, San Fran, New York City, Austin and Portland, Ore., in some order. I can't tell you the No. 1 city where I wouldn't want to live because I already hurt Dameshek's feelings once in this column. But let's just say it rhymes with "Schmittsburgh."

 

[Oswlek]

I am about 98% sure that Bill just ghostwrites her columns.

 

[Tommysgirl]

I am about 98% sure that Bill just ghostwrites her columns.

No way. I may be a girl who loves sports and she doesn't, but there's way too much that she writes that no man could ever dream to come up with.

 

[Fixit]

I am about 98% sure that Bill just ghostwrites her columns.

Then he should write as her all the time, because then he's still funny.

 

[Tommysgirl]

Then he should write as her all the time, because then he's still funny.

He has gone down hill a bit hasn't he? He's still funny, but not like before. I guess the ending of all the suffering made him less funny.

 

[RobertWeathers]

I am about 98% sure that Bill just ghostwrites her columns.

I'm sure if it, but thats ok IMO. Its her own thoughts. It's her own ideas. All Simmons is doing most likely is helping her organize her storyline so that the flows in the article. Maybe he helps her with grammer and punctuation. I really don't care. I enjoy reading her point of view. She sounds like a hot ticket!

 

[maverick4]

she sounds like a hot ticket!

Without trying to sound weird, does anyone know what Sports Gal looks like? Am curious what Bill Simmons' wife looks like.

Also, to the previous poster, I agree Bill probably helps her in editing or rewriting so it sounds funnier.

 

[RobertWeathers]

Without trying to sound weird, does anyone know what Sports Gal looks like? Am curious what Bill Simmons' wife looks like.

Also, to the previous poster, I agree Bill probably helps her in editing or rewriting so it sounds funnier.

I think his wife's name is Katie or Kerry or something like that. I've never seen pics.

 

[Real World]

According to Bill, my record is 127-104-9, putting me 23 games over .500. I have no idea what the "over .500" part means or why it matters but Bill seemed to think it was really impressive. What's the big deal about .500? Who cares? Why not just say that I picked 59 percent correctly or whatever the number is? Bill said that "we don't do it that way" and that .500 equals 50 percent. OK, why not say that I'm 23 games over 50 percent? Or 23 games over 50/50? I don't get the .500 thing at all.

Is she blonde?

 

[maverick4]

OK, in answer to my own question, it appears others have pondered the same thing:

http://www.sonsofthesportsguy.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=951&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=150

 

[Patriot_in_NY]

Ummmmm, Perhaps I'm the only one, but I didn't really find it all that amusing. It's cute and all, but not overly original. I could put a games list in front of my wife, have her pick each game and then explain why she picking them and get, essentially, the same thing.

As could a billion other guys whose wifes don't give a sh!t about football. Perhaps I expected too much as I'm not familiar with her. Sorry, I didn't get it.

 

[PatsFaninAZ]

I am about 98% sure that Bill just ghostwrites her columns.

Interesting -- you're giving the possibility that she writes them a 2 percent higher chance than I.

What's most funny to me about it is those who say they like her columns but not his. Kind of reminds me of the hardcore beer label loyalists who can't tell the difference in blind taste tests.

Welcome to 2007-about-to-be-2008. Marketing is everything.

 

[Michael]

"I don't understand why any NFL team would wear aqua blue unis and call itself "The Dolphins," then not expect to get its butt kicked."

So true.