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That was hill-freak'n-larryous!!!
I loved that twenty bucks thing. Just great!!
And that's when everything went wrong.
Really. Brady and the Patriots offense just flat-out beat the snot out of us. They ran the ball down our throats, passed at will...they even scored a touchdown on that goddamned insert-Mike-Vrabel-as-an-eligible-receiver play that they had previously scored NINE touchdowns with, and that you'd THINK was well-known enough that someone...ANYONE would cover the man, instead of letting him slip wide open for an easy score, as if by mere dint of the fact that he's a linebacker somehow precludes him from being able to catch a ball.
The New England Patriots are the NFL's version of blood diamonds, they may be evil and tainted but they'll make you rich! Richer than astronauts! Do you want to know how you too can actually enjoy the diabolical reign of Belichick and company? Of course you do! How else are you going to pay off your student loans from that semester at DeVry? Follow my three easy steps (plus one ******' complicated step) to success and soon you'll have a boat filled with gorgeous women like you were some sort of brilliant midget with a twin brother in tow.
1. BET HEAVILY ON THE PATRIOTS POINT SPREAD
2. MASTURBATE FOR 3 HOURS
3. COLLECT YOUR WINNINGS
4. EAT CAVIAR OUT OF A HOOKER'S ASS
Yep, it's really that easy. Now go sell all of your earthly possessions (yes, your daughter counts) and take the proceeds directly to your offshore bookie of choice.