Belichick's Press Conference:

[xmarkd400x]

Press Conference MadLibs!

1) Name of Opposing team: ___________
2) Name of Opposing QB: ___________
3) Name of Opposing RB(s): ___________
4) Name of D Starter #1: ___________
5) Name of D Starter #2: ___________




=====================================================

Hi, I'm Bill Belichick and I am here to address <Opposing Team>.

Overall, I would say <Opposing Team> is a tough team. <Opposing Team> can beat you in a lot of ways. They come out in different formations on different plays. They execute on offense, defense, and special teams. They pass well, they run well, they defend the pass well, and they defend the run well.

<Opposing QB> is a good QB. He can beat you if you let him. He's got a good arm and he takes care of the ball. I don't see too many turnovers coming from him. Last week <Opposing QB> had a nice touchdown pass. On that play the offensive line executed, <Opposing RB(s)> picked up their blocking assignments, and the WRs ran good routes. Overall I would say it is indicitave of how they can execute.

In the running game, <Opposing RB> can run inside, outside. <Opposing team> runs up the middle and to the outside. I don't know if there is anything they don't do.

On the defensive side of the ball you have a good unit led by <D Starter #1> and <D Starter #2>. <D Starter #1> is good at defending the pass. You see him making plays in the box, you see him getting his hands on some balls. <D Starter #2> is a stout defender. He has a good football mind and always seems to be in the right place at the right time. He is one of the best <D Starter #2's Position> I have seen in a while.

Any questions relating to <Opposing Team>?

...

 

[Mogamedogz]

Press Conference MadLibs!

1) Name of Opposing team: ___________
2) Name of Opposing QB: ___________
3) Name of Opposing RB(s): ___________
4) Name of D Starter #1: ___________
5) Name of D Starter #2: ___________




=====================================================

Hi, I'm Bill Belichick and I am here to address <Opposing Team>.

Overall, I would say <Opposing Team> is a tough team. <Opposing Team> can beat you in a lot of ways. They come out in different formations on different plays. They execute on offense, defense, and special teams. They pass well, they run well, they defend the pass well, and they defend the run well.

<Opposing QB> is a good QB. He can beat you if you let him. He's got a good arm and he takes care of the ball. I don't see too many turnovers coming from him. Last week <Opposing QB> had a nice touchdown pass. On that play the offensive line executed, <Opposing RB(s)> picked up their blocking assignments, and the WRs ran good routes. Overall I would say it is indicitave of how they can execute.

In the running game, <Opposing RB> can run inside, outside. <Opposing team> runs up the middle and to the outside. I don't know if there is anything they don't do.

On the defensive side of the ball you have a good unit led by <D Starter #1> and <D Starter #2>. <D Starter #1> is good at defending the pass. You see him making plays in the box, you see him getting his hands on some balls. <D Starter #2> is a stout defender. He has a good football mind and always seems to be in the right place at the right time. He is one of the best <D Starter #2's Position> I have seen in a while.

Any questions relating to <Opposing Team>?

...

lol Awesome. But we really didnt need to know ALL of that Bill!

 

[xmarkd400x]

I couldn't resist. Perhaps I should have included more about deep penetration they get in the passing game.

 

[SVN]

I couldn't resist. Perhaps I should have included more about deep penetration they get in the passing game.

Dude, your template is missing comments on the opposing coach ..."well coached" is missing.

 

[Pujo]

Ron Borges used to write articles about Belichick in a similar way, he'd use a random complaint generator (http://www.pakin.org/complaint)

feel compelled to preface my remarks with the following: Mr. Bill Belichick's philippics leave much to be desired. Before I launch into my rant, permit me the prelude caveat that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Belichick's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Belichick's writings to know that I do not appreciate being labeled. No one does. Nevertheless, Belichick needs to stop living in denial. He needs to wake up and realize that if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. Although Belichick would rather I discuss the personality flaws of unwed, pregnant teenagers, it doesn't do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of his double standards in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must shoo him away like the annoying bug that he is. His companions claim that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because we are a nation of prostitutes. By this I mean that as long as we are fat, warm, and dry we don't care what Belichick does. It is precisely that lack of caring that explains why Belichick asserts that he can ignore rules, laws, and protocol without repercussion. That assertion is not only untrue, but a conscious lie. How I pity Belichick if I were to be his judge. I would start by notifying the jury that by Belichick's standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children -- let alone teach them to be morally fit -- you're definitely a stupid, inimical dweeb. My standards -- and I suspect yours as well -- are quite different from his. For instance, I aver that if we don't institute change right now, then Belichick's expostulations will soon start to metastasize until they turn peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals.

Someone has been giving Belichick's brain a very thorough washing, and now Belichick is trying to do the same to us. It may sound strange to him when I say that he has really pulled a fast one this time, but Belichick keeps trying to consign most of us to the role of his servants or slaves. And if we don't remain eternally vigilant, he will undeniably succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don't speak or correspond with flighty snollygosters, Belichick's buddies, or anyone else who fails to realize that Belichick may offer stones instead of bread to the emotional and spiritual hungers of the world right after he reads this letter. Let him. Some day, I will take up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. We must worry about two classes of obtrusive spoiled brats: morally questionable and grungy. Belichick is among the former. Let me mention again that his wheelings and dealings represent a backward step of hundreds of years, a backward step into a chasm with no bottom save the endless darkness of death.

Doesn't it strike you as odd that Belichick formulates his animadversions in a precarious latticework between the licentious and the cruel? Look at what's happened since he first ordered his helots to see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys, where they end in frustration and discouragement: Views once considered incontinent are now considered ordinary. Views once considered hidebound are now considered perfectly normal. And the most patronizing of Belichick's views are now seen as gospel by legions of stingy perjurers. His collaborators actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these types of contumelious bribe-seekers are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will improve the world before you know it. In reality, of course, Belichick decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that he fears, because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. In closing, I must stop this insanity if we are fully to appreciate the entire menace represented by churlish heresiarchs.