FOXBORO -- Rumors that Robert Kraft is actually the real father of Bridget Moynihan's baby are patently false, according to team sources. Head Coach Bill Belichik finally addressed the issue in the afternoon press conference, hoping to clear the air, but only raised more questions. "You know, Bridget can do a lot of things, and, you know, when she -- when was that, around October, maybe the Vikings game, you know, conceived, that was one of those things she's built for. She's, at least we think she's smart, she thinks about things while they're, during the event. You know you talk about having your head on a swivel and that's definitely true of Bridget, and she can do a lot of things, and that's one of the things she brings. She brings a lot and she's got a motor, and whenever one, you know, one individual does that many things and does them well, and shows that awareness, you want to give her the ball, give it to her maybe 20 times a week and see what happens, and that's one of the things that happens, unfortunately, when one individual's taking that kind of pounding, double teams, triple teams, that kind of action week in and week out."
Belichick's DNA is currently being retrieved from a cash-filled shoebox to determine whether he was just tired and mixing football metaphors, or whether, to quote one astounded fan, DAYUM.
PFnV
